Look Forward for the Rainbows

The perspiring bubbles on my forehead are about gone. There remains a pleasant level of lactic acid still in my shoulders. At the beginning of this semester I started jogging again. With the encouragement and company of a friend from church, who is in far better shape than I, we have been able to share the camaraderie of hardship, sweat, and good conversations. Did I mention how much like to run? Some people have difficulty eating beets, I have difficulty doing cardiovascular exercise. I will devour any foul tasting health food but voluntarily get me on a regimen of cardio, that is a struggle. Yet, somehow knowing I have a friend to endure the pain with, makes it easier. There have even been enough progress that I go without him. What is it about shared hardship that bonds people together? In the range of types of hardships both theoretical and experiential the net is wide. Whether the rigor is from a sports team, stress from challenging classes, or dare I say even war, there appears to be a consistent bond people build with such joint experiences. I might go further to say the more intense the hardship the stronger the bond. I built great friendships with my friends and colleagues on each of my deployments, but there was no measure that would compare the bond of our staff positions versus forward positions who endured more tangible forms of stress. Even as I look back to my summers at Hume, the bonds formed are quick and deep. A similar feature of as those bonds are quickly formed while working at Hume are among the most demanding experiences I have had within the civilian realm.

Even as I reflect upon this first year of graduate school, there is a good deal of camaraderie from the shared struggle to accomplish our tasks. I have never had to read and comprehend as much material as I have done in this last year. If one does not belong, it will be evident. This was a constant question I had throughout this year, “What am I doing here? Can I really hack it?” Well, one year down, two more to go. I trust the professors enough to tell me if I don’t and they haven’t yet.

Are the bonds formed through hardship a peek into our natural soul? Our brokenness is what brings us before the Cross. The majority of our faith journey is more about our constant failures and occasional successes that bring us closer to Christ. In many ways, the Christian life is predominantly a one-sided relationship. God is sufficient. Therefore, there is nothing he lacks or desires that will make him more complete. Us on the other hand, are far from sufficient. Even the most independent self-sufficient homesteader still relies upon the constant rhythm of the heart beat to continue to assert independence. The whole of life is grace, some have the opportunity to recognize it more deeply than others.

Are these echoes of hardship and the lessons that come from them their purpose? Marriage serves as an analogous relationship between Christ and the Church. Are our individual relationships analogous to our relationship with God? By default, our relationship with God cannot, nor should not ever be equal. It is the most appropriate relationship between an inferior and superior. At the same time, many friendships begin with a more dominant aspect than the other. Those starting differentials might be talent, means, experience, or whatever. There are few relationships wherein both parties are fully equal. Even if they are, the bond is genuine because there is no tally to be kept. The differential of friendships often shift over the years, often such movements in the relational dynamics are signs the bond was not bound by a time or place. This is certainly one of the lessons about friendships adults tend to learn more than children. I have a number of friends whom I see far less than I would like to. Our paths have lead us in different places, but oh when we can be near one another again, joy. Much joy is to be had.

I also consider these thought with the ever so popular problem of pain. Much of American society has set their goal in life to avoid pain at much as possible, in doing so they avoid the character and discipline that has so often been revealed and formed through such experiences. Hardship does not create one’s character, it only reveals the character that was already present. I do not think this approach to pain is exclusive to Christ followers, but the knowledge of a good God does make such trials infinitely more possible to endure. I know of many faithful Christians with hard stories who repeat a common theme through their hardship. They are grateful for the perseverance and support that carried them through, but continued to nourish the hopes that the hardship may come to an end, if it is to be so.

I am reminded of Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah aka Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. When presented with the fiery furnace they stood before the test, no knowing how it would end. The most probable and reasonable end rates among the worst ways to die, despite this “If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” I can only wonder, if the trio were not close before, this trial was a recurring example of God’s faithfulness.

Are the challenges we have each day proportional rainbows of God’s faithfulness? Rainbows can be made from something as simple as a spray bottle or be the result of a glorious storm. The vibrancy and brilliance often depends upon the source. The best rainbows come from the passing of powerful storms. So too our lessons in faithfulness. We are given talents each day to invest or bury. We know what the right answer is, but will we be willing to follow through? What if I could look forward to the next challenge God would carry me through instead of dread the temporary pain?

Something Beautiful

I am a people watcher. I first started to realize this in highschool. I recognized my lack of desire to date based on my observations of my peers. In the Army, I actively sought to be the designated driver whenever possible so that I could try to belong. There was also an opportunity to observe people in their “natural habitat” if you will. It sounds better if you read that part with a Steve Irwin accent. This might also explain why I went into the branch of the Army. It was my job to study people, to predict their actions and reactions. I have long recognized I see things differently from the majority of those around me, it is through watching people that I might gain a better understanding. This could even be said why I was intrigued to be a bouncer. There might also be a desire to protect, the applications of watching people: lifeguard, soldier, and security. There appears to be a consistent theme.

Being watchful of one’s surroundings is also part of the impetus to blog. In order to try to have something that might be worth reading, one must be attentive to the world looking for opportunities to share. Such constant watching is a different kind, instead of maintaining situational awareness for a potential threat, I must also be aware of the beauty God might present in a given day. This ranges from sunsets, clear skies, or those precious moments with a child or something fluffy.

This brings me to something I saw at church a few weeks ago that was absolutely precious. While ushering, I am constantly facing the opposite direction from the congregation. There was a new father holding his newborn daughter. He was absolutely transfixed on her in a way I cannot remember that I have seen. We acknowledged each other and I returned a smile and he quickly went back to staring at his daughter. The intention, joy, emotions everywhere were overflowing. It was a joy to get to witness something so beautiful.

There was no need for him to justify anything. I am certain he was more focused on her than he was of what was happening on stage during those moments. From the fully extended smile to the piercing gaze, there was nothing more important in that room to him. Granted other than myself and those standing around him, I don’t think anyone else witnessed this public display. Was I intruding on the moment? I hope not.

Aside from sharing that moment that left me impressed, being reminded to lookout for the beautiful things, I was also reminded of the need to celebrate joy with others, especially the joys they have that I might not have. This goes back to a discussion with one of the couples in my grace group. They were hanging out early and we were having a good discussion. I can’t remember if they were newlyweds, by definition, but she was still in that mode. He wanted to refrain in my presence. He was single well into his 30’s and did not want to flaunt the affection he was finally able to share with his wife. I appreciated the consideration but encouraged them to enjoy the fruits of their relationship. Christians should celebrate with others the gifts God has  given. I think this is especially true for those of us without, to celebrate those who have.

Sure, I have my moments, but hopefully those moments should occupy less mental energy and time than a Carl’s Jr. commercial. I am starting to stare down 32 in the coming months. I am well past the average age of marriage for any American demographic, yet, there is still peace. God has demonstrated his plan throughout my life numerous ways for years. Just in case my faith was weak, I have a long personal history to reflect upon.

The Christian faith is not built upon an external sense of injustice or inequality. The only inequality that should matter to us is how could a Good God send his perfect Son to die for us? There is no greater challenge to inequality beyond that and all other forms of inequality pale in comparison to Christ’s sacrifice. Christians do not live in some kind of envious economic plan that requires all to be equal in order for there to be goodness. We are bathed in grace, undeserved favor from God, each day. Every breath, delectable bite, stunning sunset, and joy is the result of God’s grace. I just needed to remind myself.

How to Survive and Thrive at Summer Camp

I write this with 6 summers spent working at Hume Lake Christian Camps, I do not think any of these tips are particularly specific to Hume, if not except that I am writing from a perspective of a large camp staff. These are my suggestions on how to have the best camp experience for all you Summer Camp Staff this summer. In my span of employment at Hume I have worked in the Dish Room, Support Services, Ponderosa Lifeguard, and Security. My first summer I was 19, the last I was 31. Part of writing this is my longing to return this next summer but having to recognize this season has passed… for now.

1. Do not start a relationship! I get it, oh boy do I get it. This is especially difficult for those of us coming from churches with less than flourishing college ministries or going to secular colleges without robust campus ministry, for those single and ready to mingle to, mingle. Further heightening the attractiveness of the idea, everyone else on staff is doing ministry all around. You are both serving God, maybe even in the same department, so you see each other more than anyone else on a regular basis. I get it. I also say this knowing a good number of friends who have met their spouses at Hume. They are the exception not the rule, and I write this as a point of general rules. By exception I can also say from experience of working with over 1000 summer staffers across my time, exception means the 1:100 chances, maybe. I say this because I have seen time and again, people meet, especially in the first few weeks of camp, and that other (not yet significant other) often becomes the primary focus of time, emotional energy, and general attention. Sometimes it even seems justified because the workday is spent serving God in your respective position. A really good thing to practice instead, building friendships with people. Between the severance from technology, the close proximity, the physical, emotional, and spiritual strain this is a magnificent opportunity to make life long friends. Much in the same way you might have gotten to know friends in the dorms on the same hall, but this is amplified by the shared experience of working in ministry together. Also keep in mind, what will likely happen when summer is over. Do you go to school or living within reasonable proximity to one another? Is the person (sadly) one way around Christians than they are around the World? The bubble that the Camp Experience offers is both a blessing and a curse. Be aware of it. At most make friendships from which a relationship might result, but wait for the camp goggles to wear off.
2. Take advantage of Spiritual Growth opportunities. Okay, this might be Hume specific as I cannot speak for all the opportunities at other camps. Between Bible studies with full time staff, Summer Preaching Series, Chapels, or even your own quiet time, be sure to spend time to maintain your own spiritual health. The formal teaching opportunities have fantastic speakers from all kinds of backgrounds, at least one of them will speak on a topic you will have interest. Many of you have not worked a job with such demands like this before. No matter how busy you get, and even though that business is doing ministry, you still need to take time to be fed. This is a similar effect I see at Christian campuses. I attended two different Christian universities, both had the same problem. Between required chapels and Bible classes, many students fall into a trap of thinking they are spending sufficient “God time” fulfilling those obligations. In doing so, they neglect to take part in a local church in which they might be exposed to a diverse population of Christians other than 18-22 year olds.
3. Get creative with the meals. For at least 5 of my summers the menu has been more or less the same. Embrace the sandwich bar at lunch. Get creative with the salads. Examples, chicken sandwich day makes for a nice crunchy chicken salad. Occasionally there is a staff menu item separate from the regular menu, get it, no matter what it is. Salad is your friend, Cisco takes its toll. Don’t limit yourself to the iceberg lettuce either, I’m not about to have a nutrition meeting right here, but use the spinach. Your digestive tract will thank you.
4. You can survive without technology. This some has a caveats, unless you have a specific job that includes many hours of low activity or you are taking a summer online class (Good Luck), leave the laptop at home. I know we have all at one point in time thought the idea of a technology fast would be good for us. This is a grand opportunity to realize what life was like before everyone had a smartphone, mostly. There is no cell reception and internet is not worth waiting for, instead you are in the middle of the forest surrounded by trails, trees, and some of the best creation God has made. Enjoy it. This will also give you a good chance to do #2 since you won’t be distracted with all the social media our generation is so well known for.
5. Watch the sunrise and sunset at least one time during the summer. At the beginning of the summer it is really cold (40 and below), but sunrise happens later. I want to say it starts around 5:30 if you want start when it is still dark. By mid-July, the temperature is much more bearable but sunrise starts earlier. For more approximate times check with the Night Shift security guys, they will know.

6. Limit time spent “Down the Hill”. My first summer I never went to the city, I was having a blast kayaking, reading, and just being in the presence of creation. Not to say Fresno is not also part of God’s creation, but it is not as enjoyable as Hume. My second summer I went down almost every weekend. It is nice to go hang out with friends, catch a movie, escape from the camp menu, In-n-Out/Chipotle/etc. I am not recommending about never going down the hill, but be mindful. It is a 3-hour round trip and at least half a tank of gas. Summer camp pay tends to keep us keenly aware of the service aspect of this ministry, a trip down the hill can get expensive. Also, remember you are in the middle of Sequoia National Forest. There are many sights you can see and explore and you already in the middle of it!
7. Get to know people in other departments. You will more than likely get close to your team. You will spend more than 40 hours per week with them, it is somewhat inevitable. Living arrangements and off time provide great opportunities to get to know people in other departments. This is especially true for departments like Support Services, Food Service, Security, and Concessions. Each of these departments give days off, not on the weekends and usually only a couple of people from the department at a time. If you only hang out with people from your department much of your days off will be spent by yourself (not on purpose) or awkwardly looking for something to do. Last summer I made friends with High Adventure people, almost every week I got to play paintball with campers. Help other department staff by volunteering and getting to know staff in other jobs especially if you want to return for another summer. Camps tend to be small communities, it is not difficult to become part of the family. This is especially true for Full Time staff. They love you before they know your name. Know that and go from there.
8. Sleep. This is not general ed classes at college. The Resident Directors are there to help encourage you to get a reasonable amount of rest. Don’t fight it. It is easy to become perturbed with the authority over you at camp, you are still spreading your wings learning how to adult. One important aspect of adulting properly is giving proper due to authorities above you. Doing what you should do over what you want to do. Be the adult I know you are.
9. Bring a Hammock. Preferably with the longest straps you can find. It will be better sleep than you can ever get on a camp mattress and there are plenty of trees to set up your ideal spot. Hammocks help facilitate rest, great conversations, and being able to see a fantastic view. For some reason I did not own one until my last summer, one of my biggest regrets of Hume.
10. Remember this is Camp. Most people will not have too much trouble remembering this one. Do not treat a blessing like serving such a wide audience for the Gospel’s sake into a burden. Once I got to #8, I figured I should round it out to 10. Mission accomplished.

Hard Lessons Simple Truths pt I

I shouldn’t say mantra, more like motto. Yes, motto is appropriate. I think this was revealed to me sometime during my Iraq deployment. God constantly provides circumstances for us to learn his simple truths: He is God, He loves me, He knows what is best for me, He is in control, He is able. To throw an “and” or “etc.” to the end of that short list does not do it justice. I would rather make that grammatical mistake than limit the truths of God and his character.

Moving forward from 2009, there have been a number of areas of life which God consistently showed/s me new or deeper understandings of his simple truths, through hard lessons. I remember when my roommate Dan, was laughing (it was fair, reasonable, and prophetic) about my certainty that I would find my spouse at Hume in 2009. It seemed reasonable at the time. I can think of at least a dozen friends whom I have worked with in my Hummer summers who have met their spouse as summer staff. On the odd chance a Hume friend reads this, allow me to clarify “meet” not “start dating” as my first rule of Hume summers is “Do not start a relationship.” This rule was learned after my first summer on staff way back when… well when most of my Hume friends were in elementary school.

It is fun to look through my singleness blogs, that season of life was beneficial for my own growth but something hit around 26, a serious bit of “been there done that, next chapter please.” “Oh grasshopper, you have no idea” would seem like an appropriate near audible response at the time. That season had me seriously question much of those claims I was so happy to explain to others in my young adult years, but with the hope of summer camp and roughly 160+ Christian women working in a common mission, what could go wrong? Or not happen… at all. I was anxious as a near 27-year old Christian single veteran who in some way probably felt like I earned such a gift as a manifestation for my demonstrations of faith throughout my military career.

It would not have been unreasonable at the time/stage to “settle down.” I was behind the curve on the Evangelical timeline but still in healthy range within the secular timeline. It was an odd feeling to return to a world, in which we all grew, professionally and spiritually, but when I returned to my home and church there was a constant feeling of being left behind. While I was overseas doing my thing most of my friends graduated college, got married. At that time they were mostly pre-child stage so things were a little different but not wholly different. It took an edge off that God pretty much gave me a professional job as soon as I got back home. I was in a financial and professional position that I did not need to finish college but still provide well for my forthcoming family. Returning home from the Army had every bit of “When I get home I am gonna…” there were even the necessary steps provided that it looked like those hopes would be realized and fulfilled. I think that was when God started to teach me a new kind of patience.

When I left the Army I was certain my travelling was going to calm down. There were a few months where I fully believed I had the next 20-30 years mapped from that spot. Not knowing what God had in store for me reminds me of how small scale I often look for things. I was at a great job at the time; actually it was literally the best possible option available for my situation. It was truly a gift. Yet, the personal stresses that came along with my department’s expansion and transitions it was clear to me by the time summer ended I might need to look for an exit plan. With that realization of my professional instability so sailed my plans to settle down. It would be irresponsible to pursue someone when I could not provide.

The hardest decision I had to resolve before I enlisted was accepting the fact that I would remain single for the entire duration of my enlistment. God made that condition very easy by not placing any practicing single Christian girls in my path, but that resolution was always present. Like my resolution to abstain from alcohol that was fulfilled shortly after my return to civilian life, I hoped there would be other manifestations of fulfillment.  Yet, instead of receiving my vision of fulfillment, I started what has so far been a seven year journey to understand God’s simple lessons with the occasional and sometimes constant hard truth.

As each year has passed, and especially since I have started my current chapter, that is graduate school, being satisfied in this lesson I have had an almost tangible sense of satisfaction trusting that God is God, He loves me, He is able, He knows what is best for me, and I need to continue to be patient.  

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means — the only complete realist.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The Prayer I Am Afraid to Pray

Before I dive into my semi-rant/ melancholy diatribe which is what prompted me to start writing; I think it is best to start with the good news. The last two months have been among the best I have had in the last 4 years. Never in my military career have I had such a strong, regular fellowship with a body of Believers. About two months ago, I learned of a small bible study composed of several guys in my unit. After myself and another passionate brother joined the study has exploded. I am in constant awe of the people that continue to join, the progress we can see God works each week, and the constant phileo we share.

The blessings continue in more than just the Sunday night Bible study. Since most of us work nearby I see many of my brothers on a daily basis. We speak often of how we can teach something new or what has been on our hearts. The explosion is not limited to just the Sunday attendance, outreach and the aura of the Spirit has filled the building when we are nearby. The Holy Spirit’s presence is nearby and constantly blessing us. Out of my heart’s response to such stimulation I think that is why I have been on a frenzy of reading, studying, and abstaining from video games for going on 3 months. Few of you can appreciate how big of an accomplishment it is to willingly abstain from games for so long.

We continue to bless each other, be it a Christian Song of the Day email and our discussions of kingdom things via email. I have also gotten the idea to bring my archives of North Coast Sermons, which I have been archiving for the past 3 years, to work. All of a sudden 140 messages looks kind of small when I am going through 3-5 per day. I didn’t want to scare anyone that I am in an overall mode of distress/frustration with such a piercingly honest title. In fact, it is just the opposite; I am cradled in the spirit and surrounded by God’s presence.

From my better approximations I am about 6 months away from being a civilian again. The Light at the End of the Tunnel brightens each week as we get closer to returning home. I look forward to my return back to the States as just a prelude to grander celebration. There are still many prayers to be done concerning the exact transition and dates which are needed to allow me to return to Hume for summer ’09 and the rest of my civilian transition. There are not many ways to compare the anticipation to leave the Army. I am proud of the service I have given. I also await anxiously to practice the liberties I have served to protect. I will forever be grateful of the things I have experienced, the lessons I learned, and people I have met while serving my country.

I guess to truly see where my angst is rooted I must return to Sept of '05, when I was contemplating my enlistment. I knew what I wanted to accomplish in life with almost the same clarity as I do now. The means to accomplish those goals were what I needed the Army to assist me. I was 20 years old, at a bit of a crossroads in my life, one which offered me a new start at a local seminary with little to no means of financing those goals and the realistic notion that a 22 year old seminary trained individual would not find a serious ministry to lead in a properly discerning church. My singleness was a major factor of my personal identity. I wanted to be the “Nice Guy”, I didn’t fear the “Friends Zone.” I knew at that time, just as I did in high school, I wanted a wife, not a girlfriend.

As part of my personal conditions for enlisting I knew I would remain single throughout my Army career. I viewed the soon to be Army life as a spiritual battleground which I needed to use to sharpen my faith, knowledge, and life experience. I suppose that was one of the reasons I refused to enlist for more than 4 years. Within my first year I was reassured of my decision and rather certain the type of woman I seek to be my wife would not be found in the Army. Throughout the training period, there were many high school sweethearts and long time girlfriends which either sent a Dear John Letter or got a ring when they and their soldier faced re-location or long term geographic separation.

While my financial status is substantially better than most people of my age, I see it just the opposite for the married enlisted soldier. There have been few couples I know of who do not have to live month-to-month to get by. The finances of most soldiers puts a significant stranglehold on many families. I saw it better to delay my own family then put them through such potential hardship. Even more, I expect, as most soldiers are instructed to expect, upon our transition back to civilian life, we should have several months worth of expenses saved because it will take time to get a job. I have no problem living off of my savings, but when others depend upon me, I cannot afford such a risk. I think the obligation to family, uncertainty of the jobs on the outside, and short leash of financial balance is what prompts many mid-grade individuals into going the full 20 years for retirement.

So here I am, 24 years old and months away from rejoining the civilian populace. I don’t know if it is envy, impatience or a combination of both which have been stirring in me more noticeably in the recent years, but I am tired of being single. To say been there and done that would be an understatement. The frustration started to peek its head through when I wrote the Joy of Being Single Pt I & II. Those were written at a time when I knew there were still years of singleness left and I ought to find valid lessons from that season. On many levels I wish time could have frozen while I have been in Iraq, Germany and everywhere else. I estimate I’ve missed somewhere in the neighborhood of 30+ weddings of friends since I left. I suppose that is one of the sacrifices I should’ve paid greater attention.

What are the proper answers to my frustrations? Pray for patience. Pray for Strength. Rely on Christ’s strength to get me through; all the while not being too anxious to dive headlong into a relationship which I would not have done while I served. But that is just it; I don’t want to pray for more patience. Not because I don’t want to be patient anymore, but because such a prayer might be granted. One of my favorite sayings and a true lesson for me is “Pray for patience and God will send you a jerk.” It is through the jerk, the opportunity to learn patience on a deeper level is more apparent. The answers to those prayers are exactly the answers I don’t want. I know I ought to persevere, for the sake of my marriage I hope I do. The anticipation is frustratingly close. Am I not satisfied from Christ? I think I am. It is also difficult because as I look to Genesis, if God was all man needed why was Eve created? Creation was good, Man was good; but Man and Woman in Creation were ma'od. I long to know that goodness.

I don’t know if I want any words of encouragement from this, I just wanted to let you inside my head.

Epilogue: Reading this 8 years later I have had a sensible chuckle. Oh grasshopper little did you know the places God would take you. I’m still single, Jesus is still enough. Some days I recognize that better than others.

Youth Ministry & High School Relationships

As most of you know I plan and hope that my plans fall in line with God's that I will return to Youth Ministry as an official role in the near future (little less than 2 years). Unlike my typical writings that I'll spend a week mulling over to develop the thoughts this one just struck me. Under these circumstances I don't think I am the proper one to be given credit on these thoughts. Could I be that presumptuous?

I think as we approach the idea of being leaders we ought to have an idea of our goal. It sounds simple enough doesn't it? Those goals could be anything from getting the attendance to grow, have students go into ministry after they leave, they could be anything at any magnitude. I could even go so far as to say not having a vision or goal could also be the vision/goal, even as undeveloped and irresponsible it might be. I consider the interaction I have had with students since being in Germany, my many peers who are as old or younger than some of the students I lead in Bible studies back home, I might have the unique perspective of what happens to students when they leave home. I know I wrote something about this in Growing Out Of Faith, and what I have seen happen when they leave. I wouldn't quite say I am revisiting the same topic, instead adding more to it.

Considering what focus I would most want to encourage students the best churchese answer is “Jesus”. Of course I want people to know Christ on the personal level, which is true Christianity. Clarifying the scope which I hope to encourage is where the flurry comes to play. Do I want to focus on service, relationships, drugs, alcohol, sex, and all the usual issues of today's society? Do I want to encourage mass evangelism, discipleship, theology and apologetics? There are so many aspects that can be addressed that are very important that it is clear one person cannot teach all the areas at once. Hopefully that is what other leaders are there for so we can encourage the more specific needs as they are needed.

What came to mind this morning that ties much into the under-developed potential I see in many of today's teenagers was the distraction of dating. Oh no I said it! This is gonna be another dating rant. Nope, or at least I don't think it will be. I think it is fair to say on the eve of my 23rd year I have successfully completed the teenage years and have had decent time to reflect upon those years. Most of you know I have never dated, it was odd back in high school and it is at times rather frustrating in my current state but that is for another time. I suppose this also ties into developing leaders for the next generation. After all, a good leader in my thoughts not only leads well, but trains those he leads to be leaders also.

On to the rant part of the blog. I see many students focused on earthly relationships, which are immature. Not to say they lack the potential to be mature, but in order for maturity to be manifest in a relationship it must first exist in character and faith. The immaturity manifests itself most clearly when they talk about love. When I hear a our 16 year olds talking about love and their deep understanding it takes some restraint to just nod as though I agree with their emotions at that particular moment. When I am snarky I respond that they are in some ""L" state of mind but it isn't love. I know they have a shallow understanding of what love really is... then again this is not limited to teenagers. I know many peers who still think love is a feeling. People get so tied up getting their significant other for their various reasons and in the process of developing their character especially during the teenage years I think many allow their boyfriend/girlfriend to take the place in the heart that God would otherwise fill. In turn God gets some heart scraps if that much and he is more like a lucky charm than Lord. This only happens to really manifest itself when they come to God in their later life if at all.

I find that is a bit out of order how we should be learning about life. If the spiritual is so important why do so few people treat give it preeminence? From my own trials, tribulations, and blessings I have learned of a faith that overflows into my thoughts concerning every aspect of life. I think it is far better to get the right understanding the first time instead of having to return to previous ideas and let Christ rewrite them.

Connecting the dots between my thoughts on teenage lust and youth ministry. I want to focus my message to the more mature students. Please wait on romantic relationships. I think this is especially appropriate considering that I believe the purpose of dating is to find your husband/wife. I don't know many teenagers who initiate relationships with the opposite sex with marriage in mind. More often it is for fun or because that is what youth today believe is appropriate when you like someone of the opposite sex. In my mind playing with emotions and hearts for such trivial causes is rather dangerous and careless.

I find the most benefit from promoting such a lifestyle would be for the guys. Instead of being worried about the social drama that plagues high school they can spend their time developing their leadership skills. I know not every man is a natural leader, but I do believe that as our God given role we are all to be some kind of leader. My leadership skills I think started to develop rather late in my ministry experience. The other main benefit, I think the Christian men would be better prepared to know how to treat women with respect as Christian sisters instead of a possible girlfriend. The aspect of dating, relationships and all that jazz is just a huge distraction instead of capitalizing on numerous opportunities to develop social skills and seek what God has in mind for your life. Not being preoccupied with someone in some relationship that will likely not manifest into marriage.

I suppose the greatest con to my idea is "how will people know how to date/interact if they don't get practice". Being one that still has not dating experience my argument seems to lose validity to many people. I don't approach people like a sport or activity that practice makes perfect. Knowing how to treat people comes from the beliefs and values I hold. Sometimes those are altered according to how I get to know the person, but there is a certain level of respect to be given to every person regardless of how I feel about them. Furthermore, I only need to find one person to marry. If I practice dating like I believe its purpose is then why is trial and error so necessary? I also believe that every person is different. What lessons you may learn from a relationship will either be about yourself or that specific person. Knowing yourself is one of the primary perquisites I think are necessary before starting a relationship.

I cannot discount that I have know a number of married friends who met and started dating as teenagers. This is especially common in the military community. It is one of those "the way things are", there are many a young soldier in training who will marry their sweetheart or break-up. That is the only way people can take their girlfriends with them to where the military sends them. I don't intend these thoughts to be set in stone rules of “how to's”, as there are always exceptional people with exceptional circumstances. Thoughts and lessons to be taught to the masses are developed for the many in a general form of application, not for each and every person to follow exactly.

Putting Evangelism Back in Evangelical

Without trying to come up with something desperate the last month or so has been rather uneventful. I wanted to ensure when and what I write about is worth your time to read and give serious thought to. In one of my regular bible study groups we recently finished the Way of the Master series, a very interesting study but I found extremely useful because I did not agree with ample portions of the material. I also had a very stimulating and possibly a seed planting conversation last night.

The Way of the Master series is designed to show us simply how to introduce people to Christ. The primary audience in the style presented by example were random people they met in various places, be it the beach, mall or sidewalk. From the beginning of the study I had reservations about how simply they presented sharing the Gospel. As the weeks went on it would build how to answer certain reservations or having on-the-spot rebuttals to what people had to say. The gist of the technique was "Do you consider yourself a good person", "Have you ever ____ (go through the Ten Commandments)", "Since you have admitted to ______, do you think you will get into heaven?" Then if appropriate present the Gospel to the person on the spot.

My initial reservations were the presentation of the Gospel in this form of evangelism was to be practiced on a street corner to get people to say a prayer and be sent on their way. I know that was not the goal, because as the leaders presented the message it was the Holy Spirit to work in them to get plugged into a Christian community after they make a commitment via the sinner's prayer. I have been to too many weeks at summer camp, weekend retreats, and choir tours to see a radical emotional change in a person's life at a powerful moment only to see them fall away spiritually within an unspecific span of time. Do I contest the validity of their faith or attempt to know if they truly are "saved" or not? No, that issue is between them and God. However, those who have prayed and had the emotional heart moving moments and then fall away are not living the Christian life as it was meant to be. I am frustrated that often the church will measure success by commitment cards or some other empirical method and not by how much the people lives are changed. I realize being able to quantify such results would be much more difficult. I wonder at times if I am so reserved about presenting the prayer of salvation because I think there is so much more than an emotional moving in the heart and a person repeating after what is lead in prayer.

I have this inclination that the idea of bringing people to Christ is so based from Romans 10:8-9 & 13, I already addressed some frustrations about how those passages seem to be frequently taken out of context in Semantics Or More. Another objection I have about the presentation of such a simplistic method of evangelism is the lack of personal care. As the weeks go on in the study you can quickly see how simply and 1-2-3 method of presentation is taught. In the recent years I think I have developed a good deal as a teacher. I am not satisfied with follow steps 1-3 to teach anything. The joy of discovering a concept is far too valuable than to hand someone a plate of Christ. Are the methods used in the study supported by scripture? Yes, one clear example is the Woman at the Well. So I cannot completely turn off their method as unscriptural or useless.

I tend to point out the Gospels as a whole as a counter example. The growing of the twelve that Jesus invested so much into shows to me that we ought to concentrate much more on discipleship. I am reminded of an analogy I heard at Hume concerning discipleship. If I were to personally evangelize to 1000 people per day it would take me 160 years to bring the world to Christ. On the other side if I spent 1 year discipling a person and the following year disciple another person, in addition to the person I discipled would disciple 1 person the following year, then the entire world would be reached in 20 years. What is more believable to actually bring a thousand people to Christ a day or discipling one person in a year?

My final objection to the methods presented was almost a constant apprehension to evangelizing to the intellect. Often it is mentioned to not let the person's objections to what may believe intellectually but continually speak to the heart and the conscience will speak for itself. Although I understand the reason for wanting to keep the conversation direct and to the point I found it profoundly unsatisfying, then on the study addressed how to reach atheists the method seemed particularly weak. Dave, one of the leaders of the study and a fellow fan of apologetics would remind me of how easy it is to get caught up discussing the particulars of creation vs evolution, the historicity of the Gospels, or the philosophy and miss the Gospels because the other topic gets so engaging. One of my prime joys of the intellectual discussions is it assists in seeing where their heart is as well as removes the smoke screen that "science" seems to pull of the majority of people I have encountered.

Enough of me providing my dissensions with the Way of the Master series, as a whole it was one of the most interesting and thought provoking bible study series I have encountered. You know how I like to discuss controversial material. The lesson plans were simple each week and in depth enough that we could have a deep conversation without being too general about an single topic. Throughout the series they were very scripture based, which is something one finds as not as often as you'd think for bible study lessons.

The most interesting part about the series is each week there would be a segment of either Ray or Kirk talking to a number of people using the methods they just taught about. I couldn't think of a better form of how to apply what was learned by actually showing us. To actually see the people's reactions and real answers on the spot more than proved the series validity. It was a huge reminder that people are not afraid to talk about their beliefs. I think that was one of the immediate results I have come away from so far. Granted I am not asking every person I encounter how they measure up to the 10 commandments but the fearlessness they showed was a true reminder how I can be more bold in my faith. What is the worst thing that could happen to invite someone to church or bible study? They say "no"...