Fair Oaks Rock Choir Tour 2008

Written 22 March 08

Rock Choir Tour '08

How can one encompass the experiences of this past week in written format? This was by far the most memorable tour I have been privileged to embark upon, does not seem sufficient. I recall the brainstorming process for this blog. Is this going to be a flurry of emotions and joys? Not exactly my usual prose. Would I write my thoughts about the direction of the youth ministry and the trust I have concerning this next year? Would I write exhortations and advice as though this is a farewell letter to those I bonded with over this past week? We'll see where it goes.

The knowledge that my stay in California is at its closing has me almost regretting I ever joined the Army. I once again must leave so many that I love. At the same time it is through the Army that I have been able to support so many students, be it in California, Germany or Slovakia. The end surely justifies the means. I do not question my belief in my duties as a soldier, however, I am anxious to resume the life in youth ministry. I am joyful about the week, I can't express that enough. Only a few of the seniors knew me before I was a soldier, as life happened I was only able to visit here and there. Be it a youth group or a handshake on a Sunday morning I was not connected with the students on the level of a true friend. Living with the new generation of students over the past week has removed the obscurity that once existed. I wish I could continue to know and guide the students in their high school endeavors, I know most of them will be on the eve of graduation when I return but I won't be starting from scratch.

I think I underestimated how much this tour would impact me. When I first thought about going on Tour it was such a longshot I did not seriously entertain the idea until months after and when it was a real possibility that I would go on tour I was wrapped up in ensuring I could honor my promise and contribute to the direction of the ministry. I believe this last week came together by God's grace and guidance, the coordination of so many variables not within my control is what I consider to be an Act of God. When I finally found myself in the midst of the students I don't think I seriously could have forecast what was to occur. I am a tour veteran but a Rock Choir rookie. Most of the students with whom I bonded with, did not know me prior to Tour. I was starting from scratch. I cannot be so arrogant as to say that I am a natural youth minister, despite me, everything fell into place.

I pray that I offered myself as an appropriate example to the students. I recall my days when I was the freshmen and what I have learned since over the years about youth ministry. I pray that I offered myself as the embodiment of love and not some goofy guy that they politely returned smiles to. There is a part of me that wishes I had spent more time focusing on discipleship, teaching theology, apologetics and the Christian worldview, or trying to prepare them for the life that awaits many of them in the coming months.

I recall a discussion with Missionary friends about the differences between High School and Jr High Ministry. I have always preferred high schoolers because they are closer to becoming adults. It is those years when they become responsible for their own acts. Teenagers start to form their character and identity. Junior Highers are often at this semi-child adult limbo filled with new chemicals that makes those years especially interesting. My friends noted that they preferred junior highers because all they ask is "Do you like me?” High schoolers approach you as "Do I like you?". I do agree and believe high schoolers can be more stubborn and difficult to minister to; however, I have yet to see a wall love cannot break through. I try not to discount the work of the Spirit but my experience with so many that have been in youth ministry and that have gone on multiple tours but have still walked away... it pains me to see it happen. I hope that every student I interact with will see God's will for their lives and live it accordingly. Our youth today does not recognize their potential, I think in much the same way my generation.

I have had this constant fear when I am with the students that they see me as nothing more than a goofy guy. While I do believe I behaved in a goofier manner that I normally do, I hope it was conveyed as the love I wish to convey to them that Christ has bestowed upon me. I constantly have the message Darin McWatters said at a "Guy's Talk." Based upon his observations the purpose of the adult human male was to be entertaining, nothing more than a jester really. He proceeded to challenge the guys present to be more. As far as a social forecast for the purpose of men, I think he was dead on. I have seen far too many young men and developing men that have bought into that mentality and performed excellently in that capacity. However, they did not go beyond it, they did not develop themselves as spiritual leaders and some have fallen from the faith. It does not pain me that they have walked the path they chose, it does pain me to know that they are missing out on so many of God's blessings if only they would remember who is God.

I do not believe I am a natural leader. I do not enjoy being the center of attention. However, seeing the condition of the faith and not being satisfied with what I have seen has brought me to learn how to be a leader. I was thinking the other day how interesting it is that every single member of the Army is trained to be a leader in some capacity. One must make a purposeful effort to avoid the opportunity to be a leader. When compared to the typical life of a civilian, many who grow into leadership get far fewer opportunities over the same amount of time. It is apparent to me that people who do not want to accept personal responsibility certainly would not want to be responsible for others. Yet, to delegate leadership for the good of all is the backbone of the modern Army. Too often leadership has been perceived as an opportunity to gain power. While it can be a grab for power the purpose of the given power is the victim of improper attitudes about leadership. I see every Christian man as a potential leader, I see them as better potential leaders than myself, and I hope to encourage those whom I interact to be those leaders.

I am attempting to mentally prepare myself for the next year, to remain faithful and continue to grow in my relationship with Christ as well as encourage others in their faith. It is difficult to know I am leaving the students once again. The hope that I will return to be there for them is what will get me through 2008.

Youth Ministry & High School Relationships

As most of you know I plan and hope that my plans fall in line with God's that I will return to Youth Ministry as an official role in the near future (little less than 2 years). Unlike my typical writings that I'll spend a week mulling over to develop the thoughts this one just struck me. Under these circumstances I don't think I am the proper one to be given credit on these thoughts. Could I be that presumptuous?

I think as we approach the idea of being leaders we ought to have an idea of our goal. It sounds simple enough doesn't it? Those goals could be anything from getting the attendance to grow, have students go into ministry after they leave, they could be anything at any magnitude. I could even go so far as to say not having a vision or goal could also be the vision/goal, even as undeveloped and irresponsible it might be. I consider the interaction I have had with students since being in Germany, my many peers who are as old or younger than some of the students I lead in Bible studies back home, I might have the unique perspective of what happens to students when they leave home. I know I wrote something about this in Growing Out Of Faith, and what I have seen happen when they leave. I wouldn't quite say I am revisiting the same topic, instead adding more to it.

Considering what focus I would most want to encourage students the best churchese answer is “Jesus”. Of course I want people to know Christ on the personal level, which is true Christianity. Clarifying the scope which I hope to encourage is where the flurry comes to play. Do I want to focus on service, relationships, drugs, alcohol, sex, and all the usual issues of today's society? Do I want to encourage mass evangelism, discipleship, theology and apologetics? There are so many aspects that can be addressed that are very important that it is clear one person cannot teach all the areas at once. Hopefully that is what other leaders are there for so we can encourage the more specific needs as they are needed.

What came to mind this morning that ties much into the under-developed potential I see in many of today's teenagers was the distraction of dating. Oh no I said it! This is gonna be another dating rant. Nope, or at least I don't think it will be. I think it is fair to say on the eve of my 23rd year I have successfully completed the teenage years and have had decent time to reflect upon those years. Most of you know I have never dated, it was odd back in high school and it is at times rather frustrating in my current state but that is for another time. I suppose this also ties into developing leaders for the next generation. After all, a good leader in my thoughts not only leads well, but trains those he leads to be leaders also.

On to the rant part of the blog. I see many students focused on earthly relationships, which are immature. Not to say they lack the potential to be mature, but in order for maturity to be manifest in a relationship it must first exist in character and faith. The immaturity manifests itself most clearly when they talk about love. When I hear a our 16 year olds talking about love and their deep understanding it takes some restraint to just nod as though I agree with their emotions at that particular moment. When I am snarky I respond that they are in some ""L" state of mind but it isn't love. I know they have a shallow understanding of what love really is... then again this is not limited to teenagers. I know many peers who still think love is a feeling. People get so tied up getting their significant other for their various reasons and in the process of developing their character especially during the teenage years I think many allow their boyfriend/girlfriend to take the place in the heart that God would otherwise fill. In turn God gets some heart scraps if that much and he is more like a lucky charm than Lord. This only happens to really manifest itself when they come to God in their later life if at all.

I find that is a bit out of order how we should be learning about life. If the spiritual is so important why do so few people treat give it preeminence? From my own trials, tribulations, and blessings I have learned of a faith that overflows into my thoughts concerning every aspect of life. I think it is far better to get the right understanding the first time instead of having to return to previous ideas and let Christ rewrite them.

Connecting the dots between my thoughts on teenage lust and youth ministry. I want to focus my message to the more mature students. Please wait on romantic relationships. I think this is especially appropriate considering that I believe the purpose of dating is to find your husband/wife. I don't know many teenagers who initiate relationships with the opposite sex with marriage in mind. More often it is for fun or because that is what youth today believe is appropriate when you like someone of the opposite sex. In my mind playing with emotions and hearts for such trivial causes is rather dangerous and careless.

I find the most benefit from promoting such a lifestyle would be for the guys. Instead of being worried about the social drama that plagues high school they can spend their time developing their leadership skills. I know not every man is a natural leader, but I do believe that as our God given role we are all to be some kind of leader. My leadership skills I think started to develop rather late in my ministry experience. The other main benefit, I think the Christian men would be better prepared to know how to treat women with respect as Christian sisters instead of a possible girlfriend. The aspect of dating, relationships and all that jazz is just a huge distraction instead of capitalizing on numerous opportunities to develop social skills and seek what God has in mind for your life. Not being preoccupied with someone in some relationship that will likely not manifest into marriage.

I suppose the greatest con to my idea is "how will people know how to date/interact if they don't get practice". Being one that still has not dating experience my argument seems to lose validity to many people. I don't approach people like a sport or activity that practice makes perfect. Knowing how to treat people comes from the beliefs and values I hold. Sometimes those are altered according to how I get to know the person, but there is a certain level of respect to be given to every person regardless of how I feel about them. Furthermore, I only need to find one person to marry. If I practice dating like I believe its purpose is then why is trial and error so necessary? I also believe that every person is different. What lessons you may learn from a relationship will either be about yourself or that specific person. Knowing yourself is one of the primary perquisites I think are necessary before starting a relationship.

I cannot discount that I have know a number of married friends who met and started dating as teenagers. This is especially common in the military community. It is one of those "the way things are", there are many a young soldier in training who will marry their sweetheart or break-up. That is the only way people can take their girlfriends with them to where the military sends them. I don't intend these thoughts to be set in stone rules of “how to's”, as there are always exceptional people with exceptional circumstances. Thoughts and lessons to be taught to the masses are developed for the many in a general form of application, not for each and every person to follow exactly.