This is a Hard Teaching - 1 Timothy 2:9-14

Needless to say after returning home, my blogging has been greatly diminished. This is mostly due to being back in community and much of the thoughts that roll around have been able to be discussed. Then again, while basking in perhaps one of the most enjoyable Sundays I've had in many years, this thought hit me and I wanted to see if I can grapple with it.

1 Timothy 2:9-14 probably ranks up there at the top of many people's minds when it comes to difficult passages to understand and even more apply. I think Peter said it well in 2 Peter 3:14-16, with "there are some things hard to understand" being ever so clear. The response to this passage usually varies somewhere between justified chauvinism and ignoring the passage altogether. Perhaps the unique factor about this difficult passage isn't so much its clarity but just the opposite. Plainly read it has some serious guidelines that are difficult to apply and to justify; both to the non-Christians who view God's Word as a sexist book which seeks to subjugate women; and to those earnestly seeking to follow God's Word but are at a bit of a loss on this passage's application.

This commentary tends to focus on the cultural aspect and focus on the physical adornment and exclusion occurring in the church than this as an impendent issue. The problem with this is it doesn't address if the practice of flaunting wealth and style are still applicable things to avoid in orderly worship, worse still it often tends to resign this passage to being cultural and thus outdated and we can justifiably ignore it. The primary problem with this as with other difficult passages is the inevitable slippery slope we establish within Scripture while fully ignoring clear teachings to satisfy our own wills or misunderstanding. Or as Peter through the Holy Spirit says, "ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction." If we believe the Bible is God's Word and that God is perfect without error, then we must deduce the Bible is God's inerrant Word. This also happens to be a primary doctrine for you two other doctrine nerds who might read this.

On to the meat, within the context the most biting part I would think is verse 12, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet." While there is plenty of meat to deal with verse 11, for the sake of brevity (like I am good at that anyways...) I would rather refer to Ephesians 5:22-33 which it explicitly describes the relationship a husband and wife ought to have. A piece I have heard and fully agree with about the Ephesians passage, if a husband loves his wife as Christ loved the Church, why wouldn't she want to submit to him? Enough said.

I suppose the difficulty I have by attempting to tackle this passage is much in the practice (or lack of practice) of church discipline. The best way I could describe church discipline is the maintenance and accountability of our own. Paul speaks of this most clearly throughout 1 Corinthians (5:9-13, 6:1-8, 11:27-32). Peter also explains the concept in 1 Peter 2:13 - 3:22. In Church we ought to submit ourselves to one another, everyone ought to be submissive to someone; many of us are submissive to the pastor/elders, deacons, older men and women, and so on. There are checks in balances in the Church as well. We call him Jesus. Once we grasp the idea of submission to one another, the judgment we are to cast upon one another as a Shepherd protects his flock; in love, and the purity of Christ's Church the passage in Timothy doesn't irk as much.

It is important to remember one of the primary duties of pastors/elders in scripture is to practice authority (Shepherd in fluffier terms) over the members of the church. I might be isogeting my youth ministry experience on this, but when Paul restricts women from practicing authority over men is it really that outlandish? Consider this; within the family are mothers not the most appropriate to deal with certain issues of their daughters and likewise fathers with their sons? Likewise I directly consider this in light of my work with the high schoolers. If there is an issue with a girl, I would not attempt to address the issue at large. Women handle women's issues and men handle men's issues. I think many of us would find it odd if women sought to offer guidance on being a man when men are present to give such guidance. This is in no way saying mothers cannot teach their sons as some naysayers would attempt to imply. Children are to submit to their parents, and likewise parents are to practice authority over their children.

Whether you want to get into the issue if women can teach men, I think that is a less clear issue. The most profound example I would point to in scripture is the instruction Priscilla and Aquila gave to Apollos in Acts 18 Priscilla and Aquila are addressed 6 times in scripture. Of those 5 of those times Priscilla is addressed first, considering the writing style it is believed she had the stronger relationship with Paul in faith. In the personal setting, such as home church/bible study in which the couple instructed Apollos, it is reasonable to say Priscilla did more teaching, yet she did so without practicing authority over Apollos. I think it is also important to specify that Paul says a woman is not to have authority over a man, not boy, man. Leading up to a man, I would say it is more than permissible to practice authority on non-adult males. Then the can of beans opened "What is a man?" That is a separate blog unto itself. The short answer, a man is a male who takes responsibility for himself and those around him.

Does this expand to women in the pulpit? Yes, I think it does. I will make it clear though, based on what I have seen and read showing that women are more numerous in ministry, I believe this to be the result of males not being men. If males would be men, much of this controversy and frustration would disappear. The confusion and misunderstanding of what Paul wrote through the Holy Spirit will clear up and we can practice Church as it was meant to be done.

Youth Ministry & High School Relationships

As most of you know I plan and hope that my plans fall in line with God's that I will return to Youth Ministry as an official role in the near future (little less than 2 years). Unlike my typical writings that I'll spend a week mulling over to develop the thoughts this one just struck me. Under these circumstances I don't think I am the proper one to be given credit on these thoughts. Could I be that presumptuous?

I think as we approach the idea of being leaders we ought to have an idea of our goal. It sounds simple enough doesn't it? Those goals could be anything from getting the attendance to grow, have students go into ministry after they leave, they could be anything at any magnitude. I could even go so far as to say not having a vision or goal could also be the vision/goal, even as undeveloped and irresponsible it might be. I consider the interaction I have had with students since being in Germany, my many peers who are as old or younger than some of the students I lead in Bible studies back home, I might have the unique perspective of what happens to students when they leave home. I know I wrote something about this in Growing Out Of Faith, and what I have seen happen when they leave. I wouldn't quite say I am revisiting the same topic, instead adding more to it.

Considering what focus I would most want to encourage students the best churchese answer is “Jesus”. Of course I want people to know Christ on the personal level, which is true Christianity. Clarifying the scope which I hope to encourage is where the flurry comes to play. Do I want to focus on service, relationships, drugs, alcohol, sex, and all the usual issues of today's society? Do I want to encourage mass evangelism, discipleship, theology and apologetics? There are so many aspects that can be addressed that are very important that it is clear one person cannot teach all the areas at once. Hopefully that is what other leaders are there for so we can encourage the more specific needs as they are needed.

What came to mind this morning that ties much into the under-developed potential I see in many of today's teenagers was the distraction of dating. Oh no I said it! This is gonna be another dating rant. Nope, or at least I don't think it will be. I think it is fair to say on the eve of my 23rd year I have successfully completed the teenage years and have had decent time to reflect upon those years. Most of you know I have never dated, it was odd back in high school and it is at times rather frustrating in my current state but that is for another time. I suppose this also ties into developing leaders for the next generation. After all, a good leader in my thoughts not only leads well, but trains those he leads to be leaders also.

On to the rant part of the blog. I see many students focused on earthly relationships, which are immature. Not to say they lack the potential to be mature, but in order for maturity to be manifest in a relationship it must first exist in character and faith. The immaturity manifests itself most clearly when they talk about love. When I hear a our 16 year olds talking about love and their deep understanding it takes some restraint to just nod as though I agree with their emotions at that particular moment. When I am snarky I respond that they are in some ""L" state of mind but it isn't love. I know they have a shallow understanding of what love really is... then again this is not limited to teenagers. I know many peers who still think love is a feeling. People get so tied up getting their significant other for their various reasons and in the process of developing their character especially during the teenage years I think many allow their boyfriend/girlfriend to take the place in the heart that God would otherwise fill. In turn God gets some heart scraps if that much and he is more like a lucky charm than Lord. This only happens to really manifest itself when they come to God in their later life if at all.

I find that is a bit out of order how we should be learning about life. If the spiritual is so important why do so few people treat give it preeminence? From my own trials, tribulations, and blessings I have learned of a faith that overflows into my thoughts concerning every aspect of life. I think it is far better to get the right understanding the first time instead of having to return to previous ideas and let Christ rewrite them.

Connecting the dots between my thoughts on teenage lust and youth ministry. I want to focus my message to the more mature students. Please wait on romantic relationships. I think this is especially appropriate considering that I believe the purpose of dating is to find your husband/wife. I don't know many teenagers who initiate relationships with the opposite sex with marriage in mind. More often it is for fun or because that is what youth today believe is appropriate when you like someone of the opposite sex. In my mind playing with emotions and hearts for such trivial causes is rather dangerous and careless.

I find the most benefit from promoting such a lifestyle would be for the guys. Instead of being worried about the social drama that plagues high school they can spend their time developing their leadership skills. I know not every man is a natural leader, but I do believe that as our God given role we are all to be some kind of leader. My leadership skills I think started to develop rather late in my ministry experience. The other main benefit, I think the Christian men would be better prepared to know how to treat women with respect as Christian sisters instead of a possible girlfriend. The aspect of dating, relationships and all that jazz is just a huge distraction instead of capitalizing on numerous opportunities to develop social skills and seek what God has in mind for your life. Not being preoccupied with someone in some relationship that will likely not manifest into marriage.

I suppose the greatest con to my idea is "how will people know how to date/interact if they don't get practice". Being one that still has not dating experience my argument seems to lose validity to many people. I don't approach people like a sport or activity that practice makes perfect. Knowing how to treat people comes from the beliefs and values I hold. Sometimes those are altered according to how I get to know the person, but there is a certain level of respect to be given to every person regardless of how I feel about them. Furthermore, I only need to find one person to marry. If I practice dating like I believe its purpose is then why is trial and error so necessary? I also believe that every person is different. What lessons you may learn from a relationship will either be about yourself or that specific person. Knowing yourself is one of the primary perquisites I think are necessary before starting a relationship.

I cannot discount that I have know a number of married friends who met and started dating as teenagers. This is especially common in the military community. It is one of those "the way things are", there are many a young soldier in training who will marry their sweetheart or break-up. That is the only way people can take their girlfriends with them to where the military sends them. I don't intend these thoughts to be set in stone rules of “how to's”, as there are always exceptional people with exceptional circumstances. Thoughts and lessons to be taught to the masses are developed for the many in a general form of application, not for each and every person to follow exactly.

You're Men Ain't Ya?

I hope the title kind of gave it away, but this one is directed towards the fellas.  Not to say my female friends ought not to read this, perhaps it might strike some interesting feedback with the other fellas you know.  I am reading Way of the Wild Heart currently; the title is one of the catchy phrases that John Eldredge was expounding upon.  This is an excerpt from the movie Open Range found in Way of the Wild Heart.

"In the saloon, they try to rouse the men of the town to action.  One of the local tradesmen says, "It's a shame what this town's come to," to which one of the cowboys replies, "You could do something about it." "What?" The frightened man replies.  "We're freighters.  Ralph here's a shopkeeper."  Then my favorite line: "You're men, ain't ya?"

            The author carries on suggesting that if you are a man you are a fighter.  He also points to biblical examples of population counts which counted the men and also counted every one of them as a fighting man (Numbers 1).  So I have been pondering these statements over the last few days and was curious about what my battles are?  What do I fight for?  I don't know how confrontational I really was prior to reading this book but I feel a fire being fed inside that I ought to be clearly fighting for something.

            It is suggested this desire is part of being a man and I think he's right.  I know this doesn't mean I need to re-class into an infantrymen to get up close and personal when I do happen to go to war.  I make clear that I choose not to fight over stupid things, and when I sense what I hold dear to be in danger, threat or ridicule, I have no problem with charging in.  I tend to keep most battles things that are fought in speech and intellect; I don't have the highest confidence in my physical contact abilities so I do avoid those confrontations very well.  To be honest, I don't think I have ever been in a fist fight in which I was actually fighting for something in such a way.

            I was pondering writing about the evils of the entertainment industry hold on men's hearts and minds.  I have had to reanalyze those thoughts altogether.  I am frustrated that so many millions of American men get caught up into sports, to watch and watch for no seen gain or purpose beyond the entertainment of watching a game.  I think some get a personal value out of knowing who is the best running back or how many touchdowns this player made or how many yards that player ran.  Similar to how some women find value in themselves by knowing powerful or popular people, are some men so satisfied or gather their self worth by watching and knowing sports data?

            I love to play sports; anyone ought to be able to attest I have no issues getting a little contact in sports.  I can't stand to watch a game though.  Sure I suppose there is much to learn from watching the professionals play.  How far is too far?  Sports, in itself are a great thing, to go out on a field and play is one of the ways I feel more like a man.  It is the same feeling as when we've scaled the waterfall on the Guy's camp outs, or kayaking out to the middle of Hume Lake.  The feeling you get after a long run or march is completed.  The sense of accomplishment, the body is exhausted but the heart is charged and I feel alive.  I did play a good game of football this afternoon so I got a little bit of that sensation still running through me.

            The connection between the battles that men ought to fight because we are men and our apparent fixation with sports is this.  We get caught up into watching and get comfortable with it.  I think this is true of our attitudes of sports and it carries over into the realm of the battles we should be fighting as men.  Our sense of leadership and rawness that is who and what we were created to be is stunted by getting close to the battle or the game.

            I am reminded by Darrin McWatters' frustrating "guy's talk" at Hume a few years ago in which he observed the purpose of the modern male is to be nothing more than comic entertainment.  That was the conclusion he came to according to his observations of the role we have in society.  The most frustrating part of that to Darrin, was that the vast majority of men are satisfied in that role, or worse believe themselves to be in that role as an actual purpose.  I like to think and wholeheartedly believe that we are here for more than laughs.

            I recall writing a bit about this in Role of Men, this blog I have a sense of fire inside me.  We need to be more active and assault the forces that assault us.  Not looking for a fight like an angry drunk but be precise about our battles.  As men we our appointed to be the leaders, we need to step forward with the "here am I, send me attitude" and stop fading in the back hoping we won't be asked to help.

Things Change, People Change

In the last week I have had a decent amount of myspace time, probably too much. I don't try to be a "friend whore." It is impractical to remain current if there are too many people on one’s friend list. That brings me to the purpose of this blog though. Through the duration of this last week I have been able to look through almost all if not all of my myspace friends pages.

Being away from everyone at home has taught me to deal with two really difficult aspects of life. First of all, the small church community and the daily challenges of faith that I have to live for Christ. I wouldn't say I am used to it, but familiar for now. Yesterday while on Kitchen Patrol, I was chatting with some of the guys, somewhere in the mix we got to a "have you ever" about my personal life and several of the guys were astonished about my experience and how I approach life. I wouldn't be as ambitious to say seeds were planted but they know that I am very different from those who surround me.

The other very difficult thing about being away that I am far from getting used to is the fact that when I left, life still went on. I got a taste of that last time I was home when I couldn't recognize half the students at church. I miss so many people back home and the best way I have been able to keep track of them is through myspace. So what happens when I finally get a chance to check on the people that I haven't had the urgency to check on them sooner? Well, their profiles and blogs speak for themselves.

It has been 4 years since high school, college for several of my peers is done or the light at the end of the tunnel is in clear view. The crazier part, the freshmen I knew are now freshmen in college, woah. People move away from home, explore the world and all the usual stuff. This is where I get the heavy heart. There are many people I knew at home from church who were the bright and passionate students living for Christ. Now, by the looks of their myspace page or at least how they wish to display themselves to the world, there does not appear to be any sign of  Christ.

There is a part of me that thinks it is ridiculous to try and see where someone is and how they are really doing by looking at a webpage, but correct me if I am wrong but we do put what we want others to see on our pages. Something I tend to take more than words are actions and the expressions of those that are around us. I am a strong believer that our behavior defines what we really believe. Sometimes even those who are around us, know who we really are better than ourselves. I am reminded of statistics I have heard over and over again. The majority of students raised and active at church in high school leave it when they leave home. It hurts to know where people were and to see for what they exchanged their lives.

I can not t help but ask myself what can be done? I know there are the regular Christian answers, I can pray for them. I don't want to discount the powers of intercessory prayers, perhaps it is my lack of faith that a prayer will be efficacious in such a way that might turn them back. I think that the power of their free will is stronger. Being that I have not had regular contact or the kind of faithful relationship with people I don't think it would be appropriate to attempt to rebuke a Brother. Where does that leave me? I think I will continue to pray despite my personal reservations of its effectiveness.

Something else I think about when I see people's' fire turn to a glimmer, I can't help but wonder what kind of discipleship they received. For those that are just getting to college, people that I interacted with when I was on staff. People I should've been discipling, what does that mean in terms of my own faithfulness or effectiveness in the ministry so far. Am I not somewhat responsible for the people I led? It is not up to me where someone goes or how they choose to lead their lives but sometimes I wish it was, then I am reminded of my own free will and how precious a gift it truly is.

One of the several authors I have taken to reading in my search to read as much as possible before I get to Seminary is Prof. Theophilus. His real names is Budziszewki, he writes some mind boggling books and some easily comprehensible columns on the link. On of the first books that caught my attention was How To Stay a Christian in College, it is on my to read list, actually I am gonna order it as soon as I post this. If this was an actual essay I might be regretful of such an anti-climatic commercial of a conclusion, but that is why I like blogs.

Am I?

This one has been a week or so in the making, I have really wanted to write it a few days ago but since this is largely based on the book I just finished I thought it would be best if I finished the book before I wrote my commentary/what I learned. This one not typical of my readings at all, was a gift from the chapel at a volunteer dinner last month. It is Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels; it is his reflection of what leadership is and how it ought to be in the local church. It was a very easy read compared to my usual reads but rocked me more than most books. Not to say my usual readings are not challenging but the concept of leadership and where I fit in is very unclear to me as this blog will divulge.

I think the book was mostly written to senior pastors or at the very least beginning leadership in the local church. The emphasis about the importance of the local church and its full capacity to make an everlasting difference will definitely roll in my head, the passion and true belief about the importance was rather new to me. On one side I was pondering at first how will this apply to me? I am not leadership nor do I have the atmosphere of the local church. The military chapel is very different in that respect, but it is still a church nonetheless so I should be able to get something out of it. Perhaps some material that really spoke to me will stay in my mind until I am able to be a part of the local church once again.

Once I got over those issues of “does this even apply to me?” a question I held in the majority of the chapters was "Am I?" I have never read or heard something so direct to leadership, at some points in the book I thought the use of "leaders" was entirely too repetitive but that just went to show how important the issue was to the author. I have often wondered in my living walk with Christ, I'd honestly say approaching ten years now if I am a leader? I know throughout the majority of my participation in the church (the body) I have been a servant and a follower. I remember a few conversations at my summer in Hume that it started to hit me that I may be a leader or at the very least that I have a desire to disciple people that they will lead stronger. I recall the year I was on volunteer staff before and how much I enjoyed that, time I will value for the rest of my life. I ponder my thoughts about the future whether I will be in ministry by vocation or by volunteer, a thought I think about almost daily.

Then there are my doubts. Some of the attributes of my personality I am not sure if I am a spiritually gifted leader. That was one of the setbacks I found with the book, I really don't know if leadership is a spiritual gift. By recommendation in that book, that was a quality of huge importance to actually be a leader. I admit that I prefer to be a follower of a good leader, but in the instance that the leader is not cutting it, I am willing to take lead to get things how they should be. I recognize that my rank expresses that I am not even a junior leader within the army and at times I am very content with that. Perhaps the biggest block in my mind is that I notice people do not tend to follow me, or listen. The only time people tend to listen to me it is when they are approaching their wits end. I think about my social interaction and socially I am not the leader, I take the position of the younger brother very comfortably, even my friend Teddy calls me his "older younger brother".

I know I have potential to lead. Multiple people around me tell me they see the potential in me, why it has not developed I don't know. I suppose the lack of people seeming willing to follow me has taken its toll, after all why try to lead when no one will follow? There are often plenty of Chiefs and not enough Indians as the saying goes. Since I know that I can follow and follow well, I resort to being a good follower. Sometimes I think my leadership is mostly manifested by example as a servant, or leading by example. Then again, my example is more often mocked than sought as something that people actually want to follow.

I think this one hits me so much is that it is not an emotional "oh yea" kind of pondering. This is something that is really big, if I don't have the gift of leadership does that mean I won't attempt to lead anything? By no means (as Paul might have said it). Do I write this with hopes of hearing people’s thoughts about this? I don't know, maybe. This is one of the avenues of blogs I enjoy; I don't think this is a serious conversation that would come up at work. I constantly look forward to going to seminary when I get out of the Army, but whether I will be a full time student or use my army experience to get a nice job and do night school seminary I really don't know. The question of where I will be in ministry is constant. My lack of getting closer to an actual answer is in the ballpark of "I will know in God's timing."

If it wasn't for the months that I worked with Josh, I think I would have no inclination of being a leader. I know I wasn't the leader of anything really large but what little leading I did I truly enjoyed. When I think back about those days, the Bible Studies I led often grew me more than those who attended. From leading Bible study I have often considered being a teacher as another vocation other than ministry. Although I thought I was more in the crash and burn stages, the one time I spoke at High Life for the message, others told me I did a good job. I have thought about taking an online spiritual gifts test but I don't think that is the kind of answer my heart is looking for. I do love teaching, but what is a teacher that is not a leader? So often I think of the teachers within our church and they indeed are leaders without a doubt. The Halo2 tournament that I planned was my introduction to creating and making an event. I think largely it was my first big chance, I don't know if I ever thanked Josh for giving me that opportunity, if so I do now. Not many people I think have entrusted me with something like that to raise me up, maybe much of this are doubts about my full potential, I think that is what makes these blogs so comforting to me. I like to just lay it all out there and vent, but I like the openness it gives to those who read these that I might learn something more from my experiences.

One of the things that the book gave heavy emphasis upon, was knowing our spiritual gifts, he said we should be able to name the top three as easy as our name and address. Well, I think teaching and service are shoe ins, but what about the third? Is it leading? What is the scale or list of different spiritual gifts that the author was referring to? There were also a couple chapters of different types of leaders. Some of the descriptions I found comforting that I may be a leader, just not the type that is out front as much as putting things together. The self discovery this book has opened me up to will last a while.