Our Vietnam: Reflections on Operation Enduring Freedom

One of those questions GWOT (Global War on Terror) vets has never wanted to know the answer to from the previous generation of veterans was what it felt like to lose Vietnam. We have a bit more of an understanding of how that feels today. However, I will never know what it could have felt like for those returning veterans to face the ire and disdain from their fellow Americans for going to Vietnam, voluntarily or not. I was not a soldier in Afghanistan; I was a civilian working side-by-side active-duty Airmen in Kandahar for 14 months. I was a soldier in Iraq, and watching the Taliban take Afghanistan this weekend is more disheartening than it was to see ISIS rise to power. The sadness and frustration I feel are being echoed universally across my veteran-oriented social media groups/pages. We did our duty to our nation and our fellow service members, and we will need to be satisfied with that.

It was common knowledge in Iraq in 2009, once we left, a terrorist group would rise, we did not have a name for them, but we knew their tactics, techniques, and goals. ISIS filled that void in our absence. We were uncertain what our response would be? Luckily we did respond, and we defeated ISIS in 2016. As best as I can tell, Iraq has been a mostly stable nation in the region since 2016. The particularly disheartening factor with Afghanistan now is knowing it will be more challenging to go back in than 2001. I will attempt to describe my understanding of what went wrong in Afghanistan and why we are watching what we are.

The first failure of Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF), aka the War in Afghanistan, was the lack of clarity about the objective or victory conditions. It was not a war because Congress did not make a declaration of war; instead, like most of our overseas military operations, it was a police action via the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF). President Bush repeatedly claimed we would make Afghanistan into a democratic nation. A democratic republic like that of the Western countries was a foolish goal. As we have seen with numerous non-Western nations (to include Russia and China) who have not had an Enlightenment like the European nations, democratic governments have been less stable, to say the least. To think we could create a Western country in the “Graveyard of Empires” was a demonstration of hubris and foolishness. I would point to the American Founders who described the social conditions necessary for a democratic republic to survive. The lack of understanding of what conditions are required to create a democratic nation is one of my significant criticisms of the neoliberal foreign policy model. A model we have been engaging in the post-Cold War and GWOT periods. Yet, President Bush repeatedly claimed this was the goal.

President Obama had less lofty goals. As Iraq withdrawals began in 2009 following my first deployment, President Obama surged US forces to Afghanistan. A month after we killed Osama Bin Laden, President Obama started to withdraw US Forces in 2011. I left Afghanistan in December 2011. President Obama wanted to have a complete withdrawal before the 2016 election but did not. President Trump sought to continue withdrawal and negotiated with the Taliban from 2018-2020, scheduling US Forces to leave by May 2021. This war, this failure, is one of the most bipartisan ventures of my lifetime.

In my view, the failure to have realistic, attainable victory conditions was the critical factor that lost public support. The American people were sold on a false bill of goods. What was attainable? Prevent Afghanistan from becoming a haven for terrorist groups like Al Qaeda. We often forget Al Qaeda and the Taliban were not the same. In 2001, Al Qaeda was about a thousand personnel by our highest intelligence estimates. Following 9/11, the refusal of the Taliban lead government to turn over Al Qaeda is what prompted our action. We took on tens of thousands of those protecting them in the pursuit to go after hundreds of Al Qaeda members. The war itself was to depose the government, which harbored terrorists. The prevention of future attacks should have been the explicit goal. There were no attacks on the homeland planned in Afghanistan from 2002 - Spring 2021.

After the initial victories in northeast Afghanistan with the Northern Alliance, US forces did not engage in major combat until 2005. From 2009-2011 were the peak combat casualties. By 2014, there were fewer combat casualties in Afghanistan than training deaths in the US Military. That is not to say those deaths were any less valuable or costly in any way. It does go to say the job of the military is inherently dangerous. If they are going to do their job, their lives will be at risk. Because of this inherent risk is why many of us recognize the sacrifice in military service, even during peacetime. The primary burden of making policy is accepting the costs which come from it. One cannot responsibly take the “just one life is worth it” position for any policy when limited resources (to include time) are in play. I hold this view on every policy.

Does this mean I support endless wars? No, not at all. At the same time, I do have a strong “you break it, you buy it policy” that we should not leave a situation worse than we started. As of today, Afghanistan is worse off than it was on September 10, 2001. We should seriously consider and deliberate before we get involved in overseas actions. Still, once we are there, we need to maintain support sustainably until they can support themselves. What else could we have done? Between General Petraeus and the Brookings Institute, I think the “Five Thousand for Five” plan was reasonable. It is worth noting that it took more than 20 years to turn South Korea into a democratic republic. Was Afghanistan an example of the sunk cost fallacy? No, because each year we stayed, it got a bit more secure. The initial decision to invest in this was made 20 years ago by our elected representatives. The idea that one can support action and then change one’s mind about it before the action is complete is a unique benefit in American politics. When bombs have dropped, blood shed, there are no redos. It should serve as a sharp reminder to deliberate well over significant decisions. We are witnessing now the cost of not completing the mission; it certainly can look like it was all for nothing.

What were the conditions in Afghanistan before the Taliban’s major offensive? For the last five years, the US forces secured the major bases. They did not go out on the particularly hazardous patrols or raids that marked our operations tempo from 2009-2012. Our bases were secure; US personnel were safely assisting the Afghani military fight the Taliban. Our primary role was supporting the Afghan military via air support and logistical supplies. The air-dependent military force was how the United States fought the war. The terrain in Afghanistan is brutal. In many areas, the elevation of the mountains hinders the effectiveness of our attack helicopters’ ability to provide close air support. If we remember back to Operation Red Wings, which was one of the deadliest operations in Navy SEAL history, altitude was one of the major factors contributing to the destroyed Chinook. The downed Chinook accounted for 16 of the 19 killed. The high altitude prevented the escort helicopters from staying with the ground force team on the twin-rotor cargo helicopter. At the strategic level, the United States operated and trained the Afghan military to rely upon air support and airdrops to supply isolated bases, the same way we did. To expect the Afghan ground forces to keep fighting without air support or resupply was contrary to the methodology of warfare we had taught them for the last 20 years. Thus, when we withdrew our air support and the ability for the Afghan Air Force to operate, this was a done deal. Who should we look to for that decision?

President Trump negotiated with the Taliban for withdrawal by May 2021. The deal has two main parts, what the United States will do and what the Taliban (Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan) will do. It does call for the total pull out of “all military forces of the United States, its allies, and Coalition partners, including all non-diplomatic civilian personnel, private security contractors, trainers, advisors, and supporting services personnel.” It is not a ratified treaty. It is an executive agreement in which the new administration can change without needing any legislative action to accept or reject the change. The requirements for the Taliban were to not “use the soil of Afghanistan to threaten the security of the United States and its allies,” “not to cooperate with groups or individuals threatening the security of the United States and its allies,” among other conditions. As with any agreement, contract, or deal, if one side violates the terms of the agreement, the other is not required to honor it. Thus even if the current administration was merely following the previous administration’s deal, if the terms were violated, they were under no obligation to continue to follow through with our requirements.

Based on the way we designed and trained the Afghan military, to lose their Air Force was to ensure the failure of the Afghani ground forces. The Afghani forces were well equipped and trained to fight the Taliban. They have been doing for the 20 years we have been fighting too. They still relied on foreign support for repairing and maintaining the aircraft they operated. By withdrawing even the contractors from supporting the Afghan military, policymakers should have known the army would fall as soon as aircraft broke down. For those who have not been around aircraft, I spent two years in helicopter units, the ratio of maintenance to flight hours is significant. The AH-64 Apache attack helicopter, for instance, requires about 3.4 Maintenance Man Hours for every one flight hour. The Afghani military did not have sufficient training or qualified personnel to maintain their aircraft. In the last desperate weeks resorted to zoom calls to get assistance with their aircraft. We expected the Afghani Army to fight without support, relief, or hope by cutting off the air support.

We saw this coming. The mobilization of the Taliban has been growing for months. In March, the New York Times reported on the Taliban’s gains. Helmand and Kandahar are the Pashtun strongholds; it should have been entirely predictable to take Southern Afghanistan. As the news kept coming in May and June, it was clear the Taliban had no interest in honoring any part of the deal. There was plenty of time available for the US to reverse course in Spring and early Summer. But we did nothing. According to Google Trends, there were small spikes of interest (28 from 17) in the second weeks of April and July (35) from its present peak at present (100). Unlike ISIS, the Taliban controls the major airports in the nation. The tribal warfare will continue as it has existed for decades, if not centuries before. Whatever allies we had will know we abandoned them twice now. If they manage to survive, they would be foolish to depend upon us again. It is sadly a bit of a hallmark of neo-liberal foreign policy more broadly. For now, the news cycle will be filled with sad emojis and disappointment by those who were not aware of the situation. It is doubtful a recoverable situation like Iraq was. This is my reflection on 20 years, 2222 American lives, almost 21000 wounded Americans, and over 820 billion dollars spent. I think I am going to watch Charlie Wilson’s War now.

Solitude: A Narrative

March 2005

The tension builds as our Drill Sergeants demonstrate to us the proper wear of the beret. This is the award a soldier received in the completion of Basic Combat Training. Our commander runs through the drill and ceremony command of “Don berets!” and the National Anthem is played. I remember Jonathan mentioning that after Basic he found it odd that tears flowed at the sound of the tune. I understood that sentiment, I too had a couple tears fall. The anthem did not mean anything more or less, only the understanding of sacrifice deepened. There is also a sense of joy, those who have served in the past, I now get to join their ranks as a brother in arms.

For the last week or so, we knew Family Day was coming. Basic is all but over, we have qualified in our soldering tasks, completed our final field training exercises, the hard part was more than over. We were excited to be finished, to be Soldiers. Much of that week was spent preparing our nearly bare dress uniforms which would be the final mark that we were indeed soldiers. There were logistical details from our Drill Sergeants being forwarded on a regular basis. That week the most soldierly thing we did was clean our weapons to excess. I don’t really recall what we talked about other than respective girlfriends or missed food and alcohol. I longed to eat better food but I had neither a girlfriend nor a preferred drink to miss, it was still  few months before I hit 21. There was an unspoken excitement, particularly among the National Guardsmen and Reservists. After these eight weeks they would go home to their families, it made sense they would be present for the graduation. Us, active duty, we would simply get on the bus and head to our next training site. It was not until the day of, that we learned we would take a non-stop bus from Fort Leonard Wood Missouri to Huachuca Arizona. It turned out we were graduating during Spring Break and plane tickets were too difficult to acquire, or that was what our Drill SGTs relayed to us. I preferred that idea more, that meant more freedom, as we would have a new complement of Drill SGTs to greet us. I would take a 30-hour bus ride over a 3 hour flight any day of the week under those conditions.

I wanted to shrug it all off as my comrades were excited to be greeted by family at graduation. It was an easy calculation, between the flight and hotel, it would be wholly impractical to want anyone to come watch my graduation. California was a long way from Missouri, the roads were unclear. Could mom even navigate to find where on base we would be? All this for a few hours of family time before we board the bus for our next evolution of training. It isn’t worth it, it can’t be. So I convince Mom that I didn’t want her to bother with going to graduation. This is what it means to be a soldier right? Think of the practical choices more than what would be nice. I have endured plenty of difficult things, this is just another thing to shrug off…Besides, this next bit of training is only a few more months before I get leave between my final duty station. By then I’ll even have some leave saved up so I won’t have to go broke to be home. I’ve barely been gone two months, I need to prepare to be gone for years. That is what Iraq will have for me.

December 2005

My first Christmas away from home. Most of the unit is gone on block leave, there might be ¼ of us left here, more or less going through the motions. I am in Germany after all. I get to see snow and with most of the unit gone, the days will be really relaxed, and they were. I had just been home in August, it didn’t make sense to go home after only a 3 months away, plus have you seen the price of the plane tickets? Way not worth it, I’ll just go home next year…

February 2009

The last 48 hours are kind of surreal, the same kind like when we took our first steps in Kuwait and the bright sun shone in our faces with a biting brilliance never before experienced. We are all exhausted. Between the 30+ hours of flying, waiting in the ever so cushy “Freedom Zone” between Customs and our flight back towards civilization, everything in me is just gone. We are finally offloading the plane back at Fort Hood. I see the Division Band, but between the keeping in step and not wanting to fall down the flight stairs I’ll just look onward. I’m glad the band got to go home early, we were all tired. It was too bad they have to do all these “welcome home” gigs. I have no idea what I’ll be doing for the next weeks or months, but I know it wouldn’t be much.

We get on the buses and I’m trying to recognize where we were. I didn’t travel around Texas much. I was with the unit only a couple months before we deployed and I didn’t own a car. Beyond the main streets of the base, I’m lost. I think we had a police escort on the way back to base, that was a nice gesture. As the buses pull up and I look for other single friends who will be just as bored after this I am unsuccessful. I was one of the lucky ones to get back with the first group as the unit demobilized. It would take a week or so before the whole unit gets back, even then people will go on leave almost immediately. I will have two, maybe three weeks of absolute chill, but since I’m not taking leave just yet, it will be paid vacation!

The buses pull up to Division Headquarters, finally somewhere familiar. We unload from the bus, leave our bags, and instructed to get in formation. Oh, right there will be a “welcome back speech” cause the Army loovess ceremonies. I just want a shower and a real bed. We form up all nice and pretty, thank goodness we are outside. It is hot and none of us have showered in at least 30 hours, possibly 48. I wish I remembered to bring more baby wipes for the trip back. As we get the instructions from the Sergeant in charge we are going to have a “move that bus” kind of reveal because Extreme Home Makeover is all the rage and our loved ones are waiting to see us. Well, everyone else’s loved ones. I didn’t want Mom to get lost travelling again. Finances are always tight, I’ll be home soon anyways, this time for good (or so I thought). I’ve been alone this whole time, this is nothing.

“Dis-missed!” Oh, thank goodness the speech was short. That is a man that knows his soldiers! As we walk across the parade field, the formation now broken, families run for each other. It is worth noting, when everyone is wearing a uniform it is really hard to spot anyone individually. I see young couples express their joy. Fathers hug their children. This is a beautiful sight to see. Wait, did that guy just kiss a bottle of Johnnie Walker? I guess his wife really knows him… I get off the parade field and look for the bus with my dufflebag. I’ll be living out this until my belongs get out of storage, that might take a week or two. I need to find where I’ll be living. Good for everyone else, but I’ll celebrate when I get home…

“Joe!!!” Did someone call my name? Who here knows me by my first name? Oh! It is Max and Tiff! Good thing I have friends in the band. I tell them the situation and Max says he’ll pick me up after I get settled in my new barracks room. It is still the late morning, we are going to hit the town! This is a particular gift, I wasn’t expecting anyone to do anything for me. Here are some friends AND they want to spend the day with me. It is going to be a good day.

15 Years Ago

One of the difficult things about being joyfully busy is the struggle to have some introspective time of reflection. Today marks 15 years ago when, for a good portion of my generation, our experience in the world changed. Ten years ago I reflected upon the new world under the lens of an active duty soldier stationed overseas. In those conditions it was unmistakeable to myself and those around me, that our lives were certainly different. Tonight I reflect upon how that day of infamy has rippled through this life. Much has happened between these two points of reflection. Although it took longer than I expected, I finally did get to go to war as a soldier. Then as life would have it and providence continued, I would go back to war.

I recall the night we received news about the death of Bin Laden. There was buzz on the classified chat channels that something big happened but we had no idea. My spidey senses convinced the cafeteria staff to change the TV channel to news and I got to witness with everyone else that night the President’s address. It meant something different sitting less than two miles from where that fateful day was planned. Killing the instigator of this new reality did not return us to the world we knew before. That has long since past and cannot be recovered, there is only moving forward.

I have been considering what was so uniquely remarkable about that day. It was not the first time we had been attacked by overseas terrorists in New York. It was not the first time a building was attacked on our soil in our memory. It was far from the first time we had been attacked by people of Islamist ideology. It was the largest coordinated attack with the most devastating results in our history. I have not talked to someone who lived through the attack on Pearl Harbor to describe what the effect was. That was a deliberate act of war by a uniformed nation. This was a cowardly hijacking using civilian aircraft to destroy civilian and military targets.

We experienced this. Many of us watched on live television as the second plane struck the North Tower. Even more of us watched as the two towers collapsed. For weeks those images were replayed countless times on television. We rallied around the flag proclaiming in earnest, “We Will Not Forget!” We invaded Afghanistan and on the coattails of “Never Again” we invaded Iraq. We had to be proactive about this threat we mistakenly thought to be malignant. We struck back and exerted the full force of the United States of America on anyone who dared to threaten us again. Such force had not been displayed in the world’s view since we landed on the beaches of Normandy and dropped the world’s most terrible weapons many decades ago.

15 years of war later, the resolve we began that had such a powerful undertaking has been… strained to say the least. We will have to come to terms that Afghanistan will incorporate the Taliban in their government if they are to ever stop fighting. We have been almost idly sat and watched as ISIS has ripped through Iraq and Syria proudly displaying to the world the fruit of their ideology. For many of us we must be cautious where we utter “radical Islamic terror” so as to not offend people who cannot tell the difference between religious ideologies. We have watched domestic turmoil divide us by political party, race, education, economic status, religion, even patriotism. We find ourselves in a nation full of people longing for heaven on earth who lash out at others in numerous fashions because it is not. We cannot even agree on our own identity let alone who we are as a nation. Who should we be? We used to be a nation that sought “to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity”. But those are words from old white men who were unenlightened and guilty of some of the most grievous sins of the 21st century in their antiquated 18th century ways and thoughts. Or at least that is how the Founding documents are often treated if given some mind at all.  

I cannot help but think back to littlun Percival Wemys Madison. At the beginning of the story he knew his name and address. Repeating such were his refuge and comfort in considerably traumatic times, by the conclusion of the book, he forgot everything, even his own name. This is not to say our reactions to the attack were acts of innocence and our disenfranchisement of those ventures has been our maturing. We certainly started those wars with the passionate fervor of justice. The hope was that such acts were to fulfill the duty of our government to protect ourselves. Even this understanding is under considerable scrutiny.  I fear if we do not remember who we were, first as people, then as a nation, what was lost those 15 years ago will only be a shadow of forgotten memories.

Adventures in Security: 0 Days Without an Incident

My streak is over. I have been working security at a nearby ritzy venue for almost a year. Over the course of that time, I have somewhat proudly noted that every real fight or altercation we have encountered I have been absent. I would insinuate my particular demeanor was more comforting and successful to de-escalate situations instead of allowing disagreements to turn to fights. It is worth mentioning the pedigree of the venue is far from the typical dive bar. We are not some ragtag tight polo shirt wearing element. We are in suits minus the tie, if you can peg a man by his dress then we are certainly a professional team. A rough approximation would say there are only events which require our intervention once a month. A typical night is filled with checking IDs, assisting bussers with broken glasses, and clearing the venue at closing time. As with most security, our primary purpose is fulfilled in our mere presence. I should probably note that of the three nights a week which our security team is present, I usually only work one of those.

Although I have an older brother, throughout our childhood we never really fought. Dad ensured no such hijinks would be permitted and it worked. We were never taught to back down from any hostile acts but nor were we taught to go looking for trouble. Because my investigation in Complementarian theology followed my service in the Army, I am not inclined to think the “protective desire” was something from my theological convictions. I do not know. We can chalk it up as a social construct which much of my generation has embraced.

Anyways, Saturday night was a learning experience. Not only did I get to assist with an escort following an altercation, as that one was settling I was the lead guard who broke up another fight. Adrenaline flowing in all, the true question of fight or flight was answered in the heat of the moment. It should be noted, that we do not fight patrons… well, I do not fight patrons. When two people are not playing nice with each other, the best resolution is to separate them. It is not worth the time or effort to figure out who was in the right or wrong until the altercation is ceased. We ascertain the details and responsibilities of the event following a successful ceasing of the fight itself. My job is to get between two people fighting and separate them. Not only was that night a first, which I finally got to be the first person on scene, it was the first time I was really punched in the face. I am quite certain had it not been for a broken nose my junior year of highschool, I would certainly have bled after that strike, thanks for that Dave :D.

Once the sting of the facial numbness streaked across my face and the fight was stopped I almost instantly thought about a quote from Muhammad Ali a friend has often quoted to me. “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Of course, my friend has always used that phrase more for its metaphorical purpose, but this weekend it was rather literal. Until one is presented with an actual situation where tempers are flaring, danger and fear were present, we can only hope to do the right thing given sufficient mental preparation and/or physical training. Due to my lack of direct experience, I have not had much opportunity to hone my hand-to-hand combat skills. I can generally use my size and strength enough to mitigate my lack of technique, but even then, until this weekend all such mental simulations remained only in theory.

Now I know. I can take a real hit to the face. Aside from the crash against my skull, and slight numbness, I did not falter. I continued pulling the patrons off of one another and once the two were separated the altercation was finished. In the aftermath I was reminded of the temperament of my colleagues. The would undoubtedly disagree with my findings in Babysitting and Bouncing.

I was also able to take a few minutes to reflect upon the numerous types of security I have been involved. From time as a soldier, to a summer camp security guard, to a bouncer. Each capacity has honed the desire to protect into an ability to do so. I am also reminded of the repeated instruction in Army Combatives training. Our instructors repeatedly stated “We are only teaching you just enough to get your ___ beat.” It was a rather simple block of instruction but they were certain that we did not act too empowered by our basic combative skills test. If I recall right, on one of my sparring opportunities I dived head-first into a guillotine choke hold. Oh the joys of youth and vigor.

I returned from Hume on Friday, after a two-week visit. I truly love Hume and the people up there. This summer is far different from how I imagined it even two months before. It has required a type of waiting that has not been required since my exit from the Army. I had no idea what I would be doing this summer as it began and as the weeks passed hopes were dashed and opportunities unveiled. These revelations remind and reassure me that I am supposed to be exactly where I am. God has been guiding these steps far longer than I have been aware enough to recognize their destination. My adventures for this summer are far from over. Although the desired accomplishments are somewhat lacking, the thankfulness for being about to return to Hume, more than statisfy.

Women in Combat: Theological Considerations

Gender has become a rather contentious issue in recent years. From the Obergefell v. Hodges decision on marriage, to the transition of celebrity’s gender identity, to the bathroom issues within the private and public realm, it appears to be a defining time in our social history. Within the military community changes have also been made and achieved. Most recently women almost had to register for the draft.  There are several military cultural factors that contribute to the discussion which have not been articulated well. I will attempt to address them as best as I can. In this part, I’ll consider the theological implications.

A brief summary of Complementarianism. It is a theological view that gender roles exist for men and women. This takes place in the home and church. As a single guy, I have never had to work out the exact details of what that will look like for the family I hope to have. I have had amazing demonstrations of what this looks like in practice with a number of families in my church. Of particular influence has been the example of the family I have lived with for the last several years. Their godly example has added numerous practical examples to a theology I embraced from a predominantly scholastic understanding. Men and women are of equal value as image bearers of God, but they are not the same. Based on my observations, outside of churches who make this position a distinctive, complementarianism is a minority view within the Christian community.

Perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of complementarianism is the confusion with chauvinism. Gender roles are not about ability or fitness. Given the whole of the Christian life is not about our abilities or anything we do but depends on who God is and what he has done, this understanding should not be difficult to receive. This probably makes more sense coming from a Reformed theological position concerning salvation.

How does a theologically conservative Christian integrate his somewhat libertarian political beliefs within this political discussion? Yes, I am a “combat veteran” according to the Department of Veteran Affairs. Excluding the infrequent basic combat training, my time in the  Army were all as staff positions. Every level of training and every unit I was assigned was integrated. Throughout the totality of both my deployments I worked alongside of and was subordinate to women.

Being subordinate to women in those roles did not challenge my complementarian view of gender because Complementarianism concerns itself with the order of the home and church. I do not see it necessarily applying outside those institutions. I do not see a conflict between women in secular supervisory positions and a complementarianism. I do not see a clear theologically based teaching that would prohibit women from operating in combat roles.

Even in the designation of men as protector, the context is between a husband and wife. The Genesis account of the Fall makes certain implications that the man should be the protector, but again, that was a husband and wife context. The argument is “Why did God call to Adam even though Eve sinned first?” I think this implied that Adam should have protected his wife, he failed to protect her in that instance. The purpose of the text was not to articulate a firm position on gender roles, at best I have to insert my understandings to find that conclusion. The examples throughout the Old Testament where only men were designated as soldiers were descriptive over prescriptive. I think there are certain practical and strategic reasons why the armies in the ancient world were almost exclusively for men. Those reasons are not based in a theological understanding.

The best biblical instance of men being designated as the protectors come from the analogy of husband and wife to Christ and the Church. Once again, this is limited within the husband and wife relationship. This is where I derive that the man is to be the protector. To be the protector he does not have to have a disposition towards violence. In fact, I have known many women, Christ followers and not, who had better dispositions to physical hostility than men. Half jokingly even as ushers we have coined the emergency exit in the sanctuary adjacent to childcare as the “mama bear door.” Given the instance of an emergency evacuation, there is no question many moms will attain what might be superhuman strength and will to get to their children.

Whether one is predisposed to address physical hostility or not on a theological level is irrelevant. Remember, the basis of the Christian faith is to do things through God’s power and ability, not our own. Therefore the sacrificial husband needs only to sacrifice himself in obedience to God. Whether that means engaging in the fight he may or may not win, or he will pick up the extra shifts of work to provide, all of it is in obedience to Christ from the example he provided. To be the head means to set himself aside for the good of others. When there is a sacrifice to be made, it first comes from the man. Depending on the day, this may look like a burden or a joy, hopefully it will be a joy more than a burden.

Within the secular context, the sacrificial nature of the relationship tends to only exert itself in the dire circumstances. There is certainly a predominant view that men are natural protectors, whether this comes from an evolutionary understanding of society and social constructs or is an example of biblical masculinity, I would argue the popular understanding is a result of all the influences. Anecdotally, I have encountered many agnostic and non-theist men who held a “traditional” view of women and children especially when the issue relates to self defense. Especially in this nation of immigrants there are innumerable stories of poor families with hard working parents who provided opportunity for their kids they could not achieve. This is perhaps the most common and still compelling example of sacrifice in American society.

I do not see a clear biblical teaching which men ought to be generally postured towards violence. I know between my years in the military and working in numerous security capacities, I am not apprehensive to the idea of physical altercation. There is clear teaching that we ought to be Peacemakers. In the months that working as a Bouncer I have yet to get into a fight. Every opportunity so far, I have been able to de-escalate the tensions to prevent the fight that likely would have occurred. In contrast to the methods of my coworkers, the more I approach Security with an apprehension towards violence the more often the altercations are resolved peacefully. Throughout the process of conflict resolution one must be willing to recognize the real possibilities of harm, but one ought not look forward to it. Any violent action should only be done with the most reluctance. This is the same manner I approach my philosophy of self-defense. I have spent thousands of dollars in equipment and supplies. I’ve spent countless hours practicing at ranges and at home. These exercises are fun in their own right, but the purpose for which I train, I hope with the utmost sincerity will never be needed.

Providence Verified pt. II - Getting Back Hume

I did not intend this to be a series when I started typing last time. It turns out, telling the story takes more time to set the context. Read as a standalone work, it is understandable that naysayers might discount the events that occurred as coincidence. I ask that any naysayer consider the whole of this series before dismissing my claim. When I left off I concluded that God brought me back to Hume. This part I will chronicle in better depth how God brought me back to Hume and… let’s see how far I get. There is at least one more episode to this series.

Who wouldn't want to spend a Summer with this view?

I got back from Iraq in early February 2009. The return ceremony was one of the most isolating feelings I had ever felt. I was surrounded by my comrades in arms most of whom were greeted anxiously by family following the 15 month separation. At the time I probably ensured my family not to spend the money to welcome me back to the States, after all I had a very short time left… I thought. That urging was a pure pragmatic case and the moment of loneliness reminded me of the hardest prayer, but it passed as all bursts of emotion do.

Due to all the chaos that was my unit moving to Colorado, those of us being honorably discharged were left by the wayside. In the months leading up to our return it was unclear through the time we got on the plane to go back to Texas when exactly we would be released. A few of my friends did research in Army regulations concerning those of us “stop lossed” and were able to get released as soon as was possible. I was in a bit of a bind, I had about a month of leave saved up and the time which would be set as our final out date was still unclear. It was ranging between May 30 and June 30th. That was a major obstacle because I needed to still get hired at Hume if I was to return. Orientation for staff was the first week of June…

The good news, because we were left by the wayside by our unit and my company knew we were getting out from February through April was a fantastic time of rest, eating out, and adventures. My roommate and I went to eat out on a daily basis. We would rotate between Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Mexican, and Thai food on a weekly basis. It was a very good time, I had my bounty of deployment savings. Celebration is essential for the soul, there was much celebration.

Getting back to Hume was complicated. The summer staff recruiting tour was in full swing but I could not make it back to California for the in person interview. I managed to get a phone interview and was hired on the condition that I got my lifeguard certification renewed. Being a lifeguard that summer was my number one goal, I wanted to have a position that I could interact with the students. Lifeguards and High Adventure Guides were the only summer staff positions which doing Recreation was part of the job. I was deathly afraid of short heights (still a work in progress) thus lifeguarding. I tried to be a lifeguard in 2004, but ended up working at a local waterpark instead.

I was still in the Army, with my duties their first. No exceptions. When I did the Hume application it looked like it was better that I be a Water Safety Instructor (WSI) over Lifeguard certified. That was a several week course that I got done. When I got in contact with my lifeguard supervisor at Hume I had to get Lifeguard certified before I arrived. Unfortunately, by that time of the year, there were no lifeguarding classes within a 50 mile radius that was during the week. There was not enough time to take leave so I could get the class taken care of. It was by the graces of one of my WSI Instructors that he was teaching a class about 80 miles away in a single weekend. I booked a motel and made the trek over, that was the worst sunburn I’ve ever had. It turns out my browning needs to be more gradual than 20 hours of direct sunlight in a pool in two days.

While I was juggling the certification issues, I also had to submit my paperwork so I can leave the Army and they wouldn’t go hunting after me. With only a couple of months left my release date was set to May 30. With my weeks of leave, it looked feasible. Then I learned Lifeguards at Hume arrive a week early from regular orientation to get acclimated and pass Hume Lifeguard tests. Don’t forget, I was driving from Texas to Home to Hume. Oh and if I was lucky I would get to stop in Phoenix for a couple days to attend the NRA Annual Convention.

In the less tangibly evident ways and a long week spent completing my clearing papers for the Army, I was able to make it to the Convention, even attend their law seminar, I got to visit Mom for a few days before I went to Hume for the summer. There were many moving parts at that time, between Uncle Sam, Red Cross class scheduling, Hume Lake staff and the whims of my leadership I was able to work at Hume in Summer 2009. I thought that was my last chance to go back to the place I loved. I did not have a plan for after Hume, but that will be for next week. I think that was when God’s providence was undeniably in control.

Proof I was a lifeguard at Hume

Oh, the joys of ministry through Recreation... I didn't get sunburned after the lifeguard class.

Staff Paintball, good times...

Christmas in Iraq… Again

I write this more as a marker to annotate what has been going on lately and how my Christmas was this year. Had I written this on the 24th I am sure it would have been a rather depressing blog that didn’t go anywhere… good thing I slept on it. Starting today I am on a free 3-day off, it was granted by my section to everyone, I was the last to call upon it and it came just in time. I look forward to doing nothing for the next two days as well. Take that back, I’ll be online I little bit more…

It was appropriate to take a look at the first Christmas out here and I can only dream of such optimism I had then. Perhaps in the next couple days I will be refreshed... perhaps. I suppose the greatest thing I have to learn from this day is my mental breaking point. I don’t think I have experienced such a mentally fatigued state as I have been leading through this month. Go figure, working almost 90-hours a week with no days off are bound to eventually fatigue anyone. I think about the Sabbath and God’s original intent, part of his plan was to give us time to relax. Throughout this year I have had those moments when I wondered if it would be better, be it to be scriptural or not, if I switched to a single full day off instead of two days short days. In the short run the two half nights are much better, they come twice as often… and working nights there isn’t a whole lot to do even if I had a full day off. I need to maintain the night sleep schedule. In the midst of maintaining our work schedule even our relaxation time is hindered for the sake of the work.

Before you pull out a violin to play as you read this uplifting blog, this is not intended for sympathy or tell about all the hardships I endure… hardly, I live in one of the most comfortable areas in all the country. I can get a hot shower, hot meal, and sleep on a bed every night. I have an AC/Heater and constant power for whatever luxuries I decided to bring out here. I am constantly thankful of all I have around me. One does not need to go far to get to areas where others live in tents, get maybe a hot meal a day, and showers are a long desired luxury… When I keep the proper perspective, the fatigue and breaking point I mentioned is about my capacity at this point. It has been about 10 months since I have had a full day to relax, a Sabbath if you will. This is one of those times as I am refreshed I have to ponder what life is like for those who don’t ever take time off. Be it an inability because of the demands of work or an unwillingness for the sake of productivity/success, I have to seriously question a person’s motive for continuing a rigorous work schedule for earthly gain.

Among the things I wish to leave with the Army as I depart in the coming months is a lifestyle job based on earthly work. To say I think about the future would be an understatement. Be it the constant thoughts of “when I get back” or “I can’t wait until” one of those is not a life spent chasing after money, power, or luxury. The life which revolves around work, I never wish to return to. It is not that I want to avoid all other lifestyle jobs; nor do I want to spend a life sitting on a couch doing nothing, but I will pursue the heavenly. Especially in the midst of the Recession, in which I have no worries, I can watch the news and people are scrambling to recover all the material loss they have experienced. What has become of so many millions who spent their lives chasing after the temporary things of this life and have seen it vaporize in the recent months? My heart goes out to them because they have spent so much of their life not knowing how to chase anything permanent.

The first Christmas was spent hoping for a swift year, this Christmas is spent in reflection of that year. I am Thankful for getting through it all, thankful for the things I learned, and thankful for my friends I have made this year. I can start counting the days until I am homeward bound, I’d tell you but I am not allowed… it isn’t long.