Getting Back Up, Again

This week was one of the best there has been had in recent years. I didn’t embark on any new adventures. I didn’t complete anything that was nagging at me. All in all it was a rather normal week. The changes; listening to scripture on my morning commute and going back to the gym. I used to listen to a talk radio show on the commute but personnel changes following the election appears to have removed the most mentally stimulating hosts. After venturing around itunes looking for a replacement podcast to fill that time slot I was reminded of my priorities, the contrast between what my perception and practice. This is better to explain if I start from the physical approach.

I have been a gym rat for the better part of 20 years now. Minus a few extended periods of healing I have paid as the “experience tax”, my routine has been one of the more stable things in my adulthood. I have my goals, some of which were established in high school that continue to elude. The most eminent motivations though are the harsh memories of being bullied up until fruit from the gym showed on my frame in high school and the constant ailments that eventually lead to dad’s early passing. I know dad’s homegoing was far more than his physical state, but that… that is something I’ll hold closer to the chest. As far as the bullying, an anecdotal observation, bullies are less likely to pick targets who are more muscular than them. I recognize the concern of bullies today is long past relevant, but the confidence one gains and maintains by being a good steward of the body continues.

In 20 years of lifting weights there have been minor injuries all along the way. A strained pectoral here, or a pinched nerve there, I have been more than familiar with long undesired but necessary breaks. These have happened with enough consistency that one or two months of inactivity do not negatively impact performance. After three months, the first week back at the gym will be frustrating, demoralizing, and aggravating. At more than three months, well, it will take at least a month of light workouts to get back to the previous level. This is known as muscle memory, which is a wonderful thing. It could be such that instead of regaining strength within a few months of leaving off, I would have to work back from scratch. This knowledge is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing because I know how temporary this setback will be, the curse because it is still frustrating and humbling to endure every single time I return to the gym to build back up to where I was. There is a certain baseline to reach before I can tune my routine back towards accomplishing my goals.

Last week, I finally got better from a four-months “cold”. The doctor called it “bronchitis” and the antibiotics were incredible, but let us not dwell on the past and technical terms. The best part of the healing process was recognizing I was sick for at least two months more than I needed to be. It was my stubbornness that precluded me from seeking help. Oh the joys of recognizing the fallibility in my physicality as well as my spiritual practice.

At the same time, sadly with far less dedication to my lifting regimen, getting a daily dose of scripture has ebbed and flowed. When it flowed it was grand. I never really maintained awareness how or why I let life’s business get in the way. Certainly there were periods of pride that in order to ensure my practice was authentic manifestations of delight over duty, I would cast away such liturgical structures over my daily routine so as to appear the most authentic. The other prideful exclamation often justified my lack of scripture because maintaining a biblical worldview might be sufficient. You know, think about everything biblically, except the Bible.

I knew I didn’t have a good reason. Is that not the purpose of the Bible app after all? The phone goes everywhere, hence my bible is with me all the time. Even more, the audio bible is on the app too! It really hit me halfway through this week. To really show my faith, I started to listen to the Old Testament. You know, brush up on my biblical history that is a bit rusty. I should be able to distinguish between Elijah and Elisha... What God has shown me in this week, was in the historic descriptive Word, it is still living and active. My place in his kingdom is more clear. The concerns of what each day has before me are less daunting. God is good. This process is far less painful than working back up to a certain level of physical performance. As it should be, the entire basis of the Christian faith isn’t about what we do for God, but what he has already done for us. One of the most basic truths, that I had not paid attention to with the weight I should have. Like getting back into my gym routine, “why did I ever stop?” with the most dumbfounded tone echoes through my head. I am grateful for a loving God who knows me better than I could ever know myself.

Oh, I guess this kind of topped off this week, I got to see Supreme Court Associate Justice Alito this weekend. That was pretty cool too. God cares about the little things too.

P.S. I wrote this a few weeks ago, but not wanting to get on what could have turned into a short lived celebration of a couple weeks, the pattern has held. The gym regime continues, the Word still speaks through the genealogies, and life is great. This has not been a fad. Next time you see me, ask me about what scripture takeaway I had.

SB1146, Are Religious Colleges Under Attack?

Biola Pressroom released this letter to Biolans and Biola supporters. According to this list there are 12 Religious Colleges and Universities which could lose Cal Grant funding if SB1146 becomes law. The original text of the bill has been recently changed to only provide the religious exemption to schools not affiliated with a denomination.

This bill would limit the religious exemption from the Equity in Higher Education Act to certain educational programs and activities of a postsecondary educational institution that is controlled by a religious organization….The bill would make the provisions of the Equity in Higher Education Act severable… This chapter shall not apply to educational programs or activities offered by an educational institution that is controlled by a religious organization to prepare students to become ministers of the religion, to enter upon some other vocation of the religion, or to teach theological subjects pertaining to the religion, if the application of this chapter would not be consistent with the religious tenets of that organization.

Between the 12 listed institutions just over 21,000 students may be directly impacted. Take Biola and Azusa Pacific for example, these two schools are easily the largest on the list of affected schools if this bill becomes law. If 68% and 74% of the students from Biola and APU respectively graduate with borrowed funds, it is reasonable to believe most of them receive funds from Cal Grant. For the sake of argument suppose only half actually get Cal Grant, but without it they would not be able to attend. Can any institution survive a decline of 34-39% of their students? Because there is no date found in the text and this amends an already active law, this is assess if the law is signed this summer the changes will go into effect this coming Fall.

Between the original text (see the red strikethrough) this appears to be a state response following the apparent lead by the Department of Education. In my blog from earlier today I pointed to a helpful article by a Harvard Law Professor on the Title IX bind where schools are forced to accommodate LGBT students while simultaneously sexually offending other students. By all accounts if this bill becomes a law, we will have a new version of Bob Jones v. United States (1983). Instead of racially motivated restrictive admission policies that cost the school federal student aid, it will be discriminatory policies against the LGBT community. Although the text of the bill at current has struck through that text, to me, this only means better lawyers have made alterations to target religious institutions progressively. If the original text remained there would have been active support from our Roman Catholic brethren. If the whole of the religious community does not come together to mobilize their supporters I very easily see this bill being like a poem from a German pastor during WWII.

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist; Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist;

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew; Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Allegedly the author of the bill claimed this was not to target religious institutions but, based on the amended text, who was this supposed to affect? This bill only affects religious institutions. Did Senator Lara, a Los Angeles native and member of the LGBT community, have in mind that California debt was too much and college aid was fiscally important? I think it is fair that the original text of the bill does not target religious institutions specifically but it would still greatly impact them. It is the duty of a legislator to consider the effects of all parties involved, not just their particular interest group.

When I analyzed the original text, I found it to be a clear violation of the Lemon Test, brought to you by Lemon v. Kurtzman (1971). The Lemon Test has three parts which must be acceptable in order for a law to be constitutional and nondiscriminatory towards an establishment of religion. These criteria are:

1. "the statute must have a secular legislative purpose"
2. "its principal or primary effect must be one that neither advances nor inhibits religion"
3. "the statute must not foster "an excessive government entanglement with religion.””

Based on these three criteria I am having trouble seeing any of these passing muster.

Then again if one looks to the 7th Court of Appeals Wheaton College v. Burwell (2014). This was Wheaton’s suit against Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) on the same grounds as Little Sisters of the Poor and Hobby Lobby. It should be sadly noted that in the 8-0 judgement more or less in favor of the Little Sisters of the Poor, the Court explicitly said that case was not to be used as a guide to other cases, specifically Wheaton College v. Burwell. In this case, the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against Wheaton College. The important question following Hobby Lobby’s victory, which many institutions hoped would be answered by Zubik (Little Sisters of the Poor), was if the religious exemption eligibility could be applied to nonprofit institutions. After all, if it could apply to for-profit businesses, why would it not apply to non-profit religious organizations. The primary argument against the Little Sisters of the Poor, was the claim that they were not a religious organization...Let that sink in for a minute.

If SB1146 becomes law, then all the affected institutions should file an immediate suit challenging the constitutionality of the law. In order for it to not go into immediate effect, a judge would have to declare an injunction to prevent the change until the courts processes the challenge. Depending on the sensibilities of the judge it could go one way or another. If the injunction does not occur, then there is a real possibility the schools would go bankrupt before the courts workout the challenges.

This is a state law, therefore the challenge would have to begin at the state courts. It would not be wise to look immediately to the Supreme Court as such a case would likely take at least 4 years to even be submitted to be heard by the Supreme Court. Between this case potentially being a constitutional one and the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals having ruled on this, if the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favor of the colleges (if you believe in miracles, such a ruling by that court would definitely qualify) that would bring the probability of the Supreme Court to hear the case up to maybe 5% chance. Oh, being that we don’t know who will be the 9th Justice to replace Justice Scalia, whoever becomes President would most definitely impact this decision. Therefore, if we have a hope in democracy or more importantly that God can intervene, in addition to praying for the affected schools use this link for a form letter to send to your representative.

Update: Here is a response from a far better informed friend concerning my arguments and the claims of the initial letter.

Pardon me if I ignore all normative arguments about the wisdom of the law, the existence of God, and the relative merits of organized religion for a moment, and just talk about the law.

A few minor points: 1) while the bill would narrow the exception only to schools and programs offering training in the ministry specifically, it does not require that the school also be denominational. "Controlled by a religious organization" simply means that the charter of whatever organization controls the school be explicitly religious. That language appears in the Ed Code as it currently exists. 2) the bill has been amended to read that no school which currently receives the Cal Grant will lose Cal Grant eligibility. Therefore, schools like Biola and APU are in no immediate danger on that front.

Now the major point: The Lemon Test is irrelevant. You cannot raise an Establishment Clause claim against government inaction (i.e. the failure to exempt). Also, though I did not read all of the comments and replies previously made, I wanted to address something in the ones I did read: viewpoint neutrality is also irrelevant, since there is no Free Speech claim here. Any constitutional challenge that could be raised to this bill would be under the Free Exercise Clause.

The apposite cases for the Free Exercise Clause are Employment Div. v. Smith (1990) and Locke v. Davey (2004). Smith states that any neutral law of general applicability does not violate the Free Exercise clause, unless the Free Exercise right is combined with some other right (typically in practice this means the right to Freedom of Association). For you court-counters out there, Smith was a 6-3 decision written by the late Justice Scalia, with O'Connor concurring in the judgment, but arguing for the use of the compelling interest test.

In Locke, a pastoral ministries major sued the state of Washington under the Free Exercise clause for withholding a state scholarship which the student was otherwise qualified for. The scholarship program specifically excluded studies in theology. The High Court held, 7-2, that the state of Washington could withhold the scholarship on the basis of the student's religious studies. The Court ruled that states have a "historic and substantial interest" in withholding state funding from religion. Any case involving this bill would be controlled by Locke, and the state's interest in non-discrimination could easily support the state's failure to grant an exemption from its law for programs that are not directly and explicitly theological. Therefore, the bill as it stands is constitutional.

Women in Combat: Theological Considerations

Gender has become a rather contentious issue in recent years. From the Obergefell v. Hodges decision on marriage, to the transition of celebrity’s gender identity, to the bathroom issues within the private and public realm, it appears to be a defining time in our social history. Within the military community changes have also been made and achieved. Most recently women almost had to register for the draft.  There are several military cultural factors that contribute to the discussion which have not been articulated well. I will attempt to address them as best as I can. In this part, I’ll consider the theological implications.

A brief summary of Complementarianism. It is a theological view that gender roles exist for men and women. This takes place in the home and church. As a single guy, I have never had to work out the exact details of what that will look like for the family I hope to have. I have had amazing demonstrations of what this looks like in practice with a number of families in my church. Of particular influence has been the example of the family I have lived with for the last several years. Their godly example has added numerous practical examples to a theology I embraced from a predominantly scholastic understanding. Men and women are of equal value as image bearers of God, but they are not the same. Based on my observations, outside of churches who make this position a distinctive, complementarianism is a minority view within the Christian community.

Perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of complementarianism is the confusion with chauvinism. Gender roles are not about ability or fitness. Given the whole of the Christian life is not about our abilities or anything we do but depends on who God is and what he has done, this understanding should not be difficult to receive. This probably makes more sense coming from a Reformed theological position concerning salvation.

How does a theologically conservative Christian integrate his somewhat libertarian political beliefs within this political discussion? Yes, I am a “combat veteran” according to the Department of Veteran Affairs. Excluding the infrequent basic combat training, my time in the  Army were all as staff positions. Every level of training and every unit I was assigned was integrated. Throughout the totality of both my deployments I worked alongside of and was subordinate to women.

Being subordinate to women in those roles did not challenge my complementarian view of gender because Complementarianism concerns itself with the order of the home and church. I do not see it necessarily applying outside those institutions. I do not see a conflict between women in secular supervisory positions and a complementarianism. I do not see a clear theologically based teaching that would prohibit women from operating in combat roles.

Even in the designation of men as protector, the context is between a husband and wife. The Genesis account of the Fall makes certain implications that the man should be the protector, but again, that was a husband and wife context. The argument is “Why did God call to Adam even though Eve sinned first?” I think this implied that Adam should have protected his wife, he failed to protect her in that instance. The purpose of the text was not to articulate a firm position on gender roles, at best I have to insert my understandings to find that conclusion. The examples throughout the Old Testament where only men were designated as soldiers were descriptive over prescriptive. I think there are certain practical and strategic reasons why the armies in the ancient world were almost exclusively for men. Those reasons are not based in a theological understanding.

The best biblical instance of men being designated as the protectors come from the analogy of husband and wife to Christ and the Church. Once again, this is limited within the husband and wife relationship. This is where I derive that the man is to be the protector. To be the protector he does not have to have a disposition towards violence. In fact, I have known many women, Christ followers and not, who had better dispositions to physical hostility than men. Half jokingly even as ushers we have coined the emergency exit in the sanctuary adjacent to childcare as the “mama bear door.” Given the instance of an emergency evacuation, there is no question many moms will attain what might be superhuman strength and will to get to their children.

Whether one is predisposed to address physical hostility or not on a theological level is irrelevant. Remember, the basis of the Christian faith is to do things through God’s power and ability, not our own. Therefore the sacrificial husband needs only to sacrifice himself in obedience to God. Whether that means engaging in the fight he may or may not win, or he will pick up the extra shifts of work to provide, all of it is in obedience to Christ from the example he provided. To be the head means to set himself aside for the good of others. When there is a sacrifice to be made, it first comes from the man. Depending on the day, this may look like a burden or a joy, hopefully it will be a joy more than a burden.

Within the secular context, the sacrificial nature of the relationship tends to only exert itself in the dire circumstances. There is certainly a predominant view that men are natural protectors, whether this comes from an evolutionary understanding of society and social constructs or is an example of biblical masculinity, I would argue the popular understanding is a result of all the influences. Anecdotally, I have encountered many agnostic and non-theist men who held a “traditional” view of women and children especially when the issue relates to self defense. Especially in this nation of immigrants there are innumerable stories of poor families with hard working parents who provided opportunity for their kids they could not achieve. This is perhaps the most common and still compelling example of sacrifice in American society.

I do not see a clear biblical teaching which men ought to be generally postured towards violence. I know between my years in the military and working in numerous security capacities, I am not apprehensive to the idea of physical altercation. There is clear teaching that we ought to be Peacemakers. In the months that working as a Bouncer I have yet to get into a fight. Every opportunity so far, I have been able to de-escalate the tensions to prevent the fight that likely would have occurred. In contrast to the methods of my coworkers, the more I approach Security with an apprehension towards violence the more often the altercations are resolved peacefully. Throughout the process of conflict resolution one must be willing to recognize the real possibilities of harm, but one ought not look forward to it. Any violent action should only be done with the most reluctance. This is the same manner I approach my philosophy of self-defense. I have spent thousands of dollars in equipment and supplies. I’ve spent countless hours practicing at ranges and at home. These exercises are fun in their own right, but the purpose for which I train, I hope with the utmost sincerity will never be needed.

Look Forward for the Rainbows

The perspiring bubbles on my forehead are about gone. There remains a pleasant level of lactic acid still in my shoulders. At the beginning of this semester I started jogging again. With the encouragement and company of a friend from church, who is in far better shape than I, we have been able to share the camaraderie of hardship, sweat, and good conversations. Did I mention how much like to run? Some people have difficulty eating beets, I have difficulty doing cardiovascular exercise. I will devour any foul tasting health food but voluntarily get me on a regimen of cardio, that is a struggle. Yet, somehow knowing I have a friend to endure the pain with, makes it easier. There have even been enough progress that I go without him. What is it about shared hardship that bonds people together? In the range of types of hardships both theoretical and experiential the net is wide. Whether the rigor is from a sports team, stress from challenging classes, or dare I say even war, there appears to be a consistent bond people build with such joint experiences. I might go further to say the more intense the hardship the stronger the bond. I built great friendships with my friends and colleagues on each of my deployments, but there was no measure that would compare the bond of our staff positions versus forward positions who endured more tangible forms of stress. Even as I look back to my summers at Hume, the bonds formed are quick and deep. A similar feature of as those bonds are quickly formed while working at Hume are among the most demanding experiences I have had within the civilian realm.

Even as I reflect upon this first year of graduate school, there is a good deal of camaraderie from the shared struggle to accomplish our tasks. I have never had to read and comprehend as much material as I have done in this last year. If one does not belong, it will be evident. This was a constant question I had throughout this year, “What am I doing here? Can I really hack it?” Well, one year down, two more to go. I trust the professors enough to tell me if I don’t and they haven’t yet.

Are the bonds formed through hardship a peek into our natural soul? Our brokenness is what brings us before the Cross. The majority of our faith journey is more about our constant failures and occasional successes that bring us closer to Christ. In many ways, the Christian life is predominantly a one-sided relationship. God is sufficient. Therefore, there is nothing he lacks or desires that will make him more complete. Us on the other hand, are far from sufficient. Even the most independent self-sufficient homesteader still relies upon the constant rhythm of the heart beat to continue to assert independence. The whole of life is grace, some have the opportunity to recognize it more deeply than others.

Are these echoes of hardship and the lessons that come from them their purpose? Marriage serves as an analogous relationship between Christ and the Church. Are our individual relationships analogous to our relationship with God? By default, our relationship with God cannot, nor should not ever be equal. It is the most appropriate relationship between an inferior and superior. At the same time, many friendships begin with a more dominant aspect than the other. Those starting differentials might be talent, means, experience, or whatever. There are few relationships wherein both parties are fully equal. Even if they are, the bond is genuine because there is no tally to be kept. The differential of friendships often shift over the years, often such movements in the relational dynamics are signs the bond was not bound by a time or place. This is certainly one of the lessons about friendships adults tend to learn more than children. I have a number of friends whom I see far less than I would like to. Our paths have lead us in different places, but oh when we can be near one another again, joy. Much joy is to be had.

I also consider these thought with the ever so popular problem of pain. Much of American society has set their goal in life to avoid pain at much as possible, in doing so they avoid the character and discipline that has so often been revealed and formed through such experiences. Hardship does not create one’s character, it only reveals the character that was already present. I do not think this approach to pain is exclusive to Christ followers, but the knowledge of a good God does make such trials infinitely more possible to endure. I know of many faithful Christians with hard stories who repeat a common theme through their hardship. They are grateful for the perseverance and support that carried them through, but continued to nourish the hopes that the hardship may come to an end, if it is to be so.

I am reminded of Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah aka Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. When presented with the fiery furnace they stood before the test, no knowing how it would end. The most probable and reasonable end rates among the worst ways to die, despite this “If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” I can only wonder, if the trio were not close before, this trial was a recurring example of God’s faithfulness.

Are the challenges we have each day proportional rainbows of God’s faithfulness? Rainbows can be made from something as simple as a spray bottle or be the result of a glorious storm. The vibrancy and brilliance often depends upon the source. The best rainbows come from the passing of powerful storms. So too our lessons in faithfulness. We are given talents each day to invest or bury. We know what the right answer is, but will we be willing to follow through? What if I could look forward to the next challenge God would carry me through instead of dread the temporary pain?

Hard Lessons Simple Truths pt II

In Part I, I started tell you about the experiential understanding of some of God’s simple truths. I did not realize this would be a series until the pages were filled in part I. This series seeks to focus on highlighting the opportunities God has given me, through hard lessons, to recognize his simple truths.

I think at the time, the simple truths were a bit less concise or complete. For a number of years I summarized the simple truths as “patience” and/or “sovereignty”. Two summers ago, eminent scholar, Screamer veteran, and strong puncher, Jerry Root summarized the simple truths to “He is God, He loves me, He knows what is best for me.” This was certainly a more relational summary than my one word doctrinal statements. Years later after an Introduction to Theology class at Biola, what has been known cannot be unknown. The character of God and his attributes from a scholarly approach may appear daunting, at the same time Romans has made much of it plain to us.

The first installment left off with the personal frustrations I had as I returned back to civilian life. Well, sort of. The Providence Verified series follows a chronological record of God’s clear hand guiding my path in the recent years. This series overlaps chronologically but tells the stories and trials I experienced while being precisely where God had me be. I had to shelve this one for a few weeks while I got caught up in the other series for chronological continuity. Let’s get on with this.

In a 6-week period, I put in my two weeks, got hired by a new division in my company, moved to Texas, and started a deployment in Afghanistan. Of the two challenges which confronted me during that time and throughout the deployment one has at best a tentative answer still. When I was active duty and Uncle Sam called my number to go to war, I could easily write it off as “this is out of my hands” or “I am being sent”, although I kind of did volunteer to go to a unit to deliberately go to Iraq. In this situation, I left a great job, which although the conditions were much less enjoyable than when I first started working, it was still the best job and opportunity available without leaving my community. As a contractor, I had to seek a job knowing I would go to another war. No flag to hide behind, no government orders making me go, I had to seek out a job, go through the interview process, and convince my company why they should send me to war. Yes, the job was in direct support and supervision of active duty personnel, but the conditions were still different.

I sold more than a year of my life. For those of you who do not know, private military contracting is very lucrative for anyone. At that time, truck drivers without military experience driving convoys of supplies in Iraq and Afghanistan were making over 100K/yr. The pay scales moved up from there. I knew several contractors who were veterans in Iraq and got an idea of the pay scale for even entry level analyst jobs. In fairness, entry-level in that career field meant at least 2 years active military experience with a deployment already under one’s belt. Anyways, there are many jobs which people do solely for the money. Isn’t that why most of us go to work? So that we can get paid? Some of us will be lucky enough to do something we love and get paid, but there are significant portions of the population punching the card to get to the next day. I knew in taking the new job position I was deliberately selling myself. The notion still feels odd. I never wanted to live a life in which chasing the paycheck was the objective, but I still took the job. I justified and still tend to justify that decision by those digits in my bank account that grew from that job. Yes, I got to do my part making the Afghani people and Coalition Forces safer. There was always that aspect of job satisfaction but I couldn’t shake it that I named my price and took it. There was nothing morally wrong about my job, it did not put me in any positions which I had to do anything against my conscience or faith, but it still felt odd. I still justify it because of the financial positioning the job provided… It is done. I do not like to justify the means by the ends, but this chapter is how it went.

The nagging sense of selling myself was not a problem during the deployment. I was awestruck with each paycheck. In retrospect it was a convicting manner to see what I valued at the time. I left my church community, a good job, and great friends for those digits in an account. The part about the deployment which made it my most difficult year was the fellowship. Between my status as a contractor and working night shift, I could not attend any chapels on base. When I was active duty my section allowed for me to attend a weekly Bible Study with some guys from my unit. It did not take long before I realized how much I underestimated God’s blessing on me in Iraq then when I was in Afghanistan. The support a community of faith can provide became measureable to me. I bonded well with my coworkers. We had a small team, only a handful of us stayed for more than a year, the active duty people rotated with a new crew and command several times. Some crews were more friendly than others, some were outright hostile towards faith. We I took the job, I figured I would continue reading to keep my faith vibrant as I did in Iraq. The near complete lack of fellowship in Afghanistan took its toll. It didn’t matter I was reading regularly, working out, eating mostly clean, the lack of fellowship and encouragement the Body of Christ ought to provide to one another was painful.

People often focus on the physical danger war presents. In Iraq we went several months between rocket attacks, I don’t think we had more than 8 days without a rocket hitting our base in Afghanistan. I chuckle, as my last week on the deployment, I am certain I saw a rocket pass over my head by 20 ft or so, it was a good signal that I was ready to leave. The physical danger was nothing compared to spiritual emptiness I felt throughout the deployment. I gained a clearer understanding of the priority between the physical and immaterial.

When I got home from Afghanistan things were different. I dare not say the evil acronym many associate with military service. I am certain it was not that. I think a spiritual thirstiness was present. I got back from Afghanistan December of 2011. By the following January I was taking classes at William Jessup to finish my degree. As much as I love Biola, I know I needed to be at Jessup that first year back in civilian life. There was a proportionally significant veteran population on campus and for some things it takes a veteran to help a veteran. The thirstiness practically felt like an immaterial mist separating myself from others around me. It flirted with the line of tangibility, but it was constantly present in public. It was not until I returned to Hume Lake the summer of 2012, that I felt the cloud lifted and have not turned back since. Hume was already a dear place to me, this was just another example why it is so important to me.

Throughout the Afghanistan deployment I knew God was demonstrating his sovereignty to me. He carried me through yet another war. Even in periods of silence, his presence was constant. Like my isolation in Germany that first year, sometimes it takes the most challenging of conditions for us to have the opportunity to see God for who he is. The noise of the world fades to the background and one is confronted with the brutal truth of a fallen world and a sin nature. Despite this, God is present, he loves me and he was able to take care of me. Even more than that, I have seen and felt God’s faithfulness through numerous trials. Like a dependable friend that has been there through thick and thin, no wait, that is insufficient. God has carried me through the hard times, especially through those moments when I was barely holding on.

Providence Verified pt. III - Hume to Home

Providence Verified pt. III

Hume Summer 2009 was a blessing beyond blessings. Part of the original plan to return to Hume was to be immersed in Christian community right after my active duty service, God made it happen.

Between my move to Texas from Germany, I went to Hume for a weekend. I knew I was going to Iraq shortly after arriving in Texas. Hume had left an indelible mark on my soul my first summer. I had to return one more time before I shipped off to war. I did not see many friends I recognized from that summer, it had been 4 years since I was on summer staff, but there was enough familiarity it still felt like home. By Summer 2009, all but a handful of full time staff were there from my first summer; but it was the same place, with the same passion, and the same mission. Hume will be like a home for me not matter who is working there so as long as they keep to the original mission.

I loved that summer. It was my job to watch people swim and play all summer. For this story, there were two things that happened that summer that has followed me for many years afterward. I met Charlie, a retired LAPD officer who demonstrated a love for people I had not seen before with a man of such… bona fides. There were a handful of veterans on staff, but I was the only one who had been to war, and the others were full time staff. Charlie had seen it all, far more than I had, there was a bond from that first summer. The other thing was the opportunity to see a fulfillment of answered prayers before my eyes.

Summer lasted 10 weeks of campers, it was busy, blessed, and tiring. The summer season goes for 12 weeks, those last couple weeks Hume hosted church groups and Christian school orientations, we were the facilities and food, not the program. The grand finale of summer is Country Fair on Labor day weekend. At the end of the 10 weeks of camp the summer staff of 300+ college age servants shrank to 20-30 of us to continue up through Country Fair. It was those last couple of weeks of summer that I started to look for a plan. The only lead I had was from one of my friends from Germany, named Dave. He and another guy from my section in Germany were working at an Air Force base as contractors in about an hour from Sacramento. I was hoping to jump on the contractor wagon, but I had no idea how to get in. Most Saturdays I would “go down the hill” to Fresno, for movies, BBQ, and sushi. One of those times down the hill, I got a hold of my friend Dave and he mentioned his job might expand, but they were waiting on the government contracts to come through. I knew he would do what he could, but we mere mortals have no control on government contracts. How true that statement turned out to be.

I knew I was returning to home somewhere in the Sacramento suburbs. I was going to housesit for some friends going on vacation for several weeks. I had those weeks to get a lead. Dave gave me the name of the company, I would check the website each night to see if any jobs opened. I was getting discouraged and fearful in those final weeks. I kept refreshing the job opening page and no results were found. There was a solid week I was half-joking that I would go to the Union Gospel Mission after the house sitting. My final night at Hume, I checked the company website one more time, click click, and boom. The job Dave was telling me about was open! I uploaded my resume and filled out the application that night, God was Good!

You might be thinking at this point, “You call this verification?” Not quite yet, keep reading. The next day, as I am driving down the mountain and I get back into cell range, I get a call from Dave. He let me know they saw my resume… but it sucked. I didn’t know what the company was looking for, we knew I had the skills for the job, but one must get the interview to get the opportunity. As it just so happened, the reason Dave called me, was not just to tell me about the shortcomings of my resume. For he and the other guy from my section in Germany were both chosen to sift through the resumes. Wow, just wow. Dave gave me some tips on how to rewrite the resume so he could bring it to his supervisor, who was in charge of hiring.

I got to my friend’s house and fixed my resume and waited. A few days later, I got an email to schedule the job interview. Boom, I’m in. Okay, now I have to think about all my military experience and how to do a job interview. This was a white collar, salaried position with a Fortune 500 company… breathe… breathe… this is happening. Due to the nature of the job, the interview was going to be over the phone. I am not particularly fond of talking on the phone, talking is more than words, it is expressions, inflections, and body language. For this, I only have words and inflections.

The interview, I cannot fairly say it was an interview. I was introduce to the Site lead and when I was getting ready for the challenging questions, she said “Based on your resume and personal recommendations, you were a sure thing. I just wanted to chat to get to know you as we a tight team right now.” Did that just happen? I was given this job. A surreal sense of my finiteness was shadowed by God’s clear hand. He wasn’t done yet. The type of work I did in the Army and as a civilian, required numerous background checks, drug tests, and the sort. Once I started working, I learned I was the first new hire of over a dozen new people. The contract tripled the team over the next six months. On average it took about 2-3 months for new hires to get fully in- processed. I was working within 3 weeks from my interview.

But wait there’s still more! My friends got back from their trip, they did have an open room, which was where I stayed those weeks, but the commute would have been over 1-2 hours. I had to find a different place to live. At the same time, a friend from church, he was a cop two suburbs over. He just bought a new house, there were open rooms. Ding! I got a place to live. As I looked at the location, it was a perfect middle between my commute to work and drive to church. It looks like this civilian life might work out after all...