Babysitting and Bouncing

I suppose I should start the caveat that my baby sitting experience is very limited… I’ve done it once… with a bilingual toddler… she would interchange between German and English. I was helping out an Army buddy so he and his wife could have a night out and they put her down before they left, so it really was not too difficult but I am generally still afraid of small children. This has not stopped numerous friends from handing me their little ones over the years, so I could say there has been a progression of absolutely irrational fear to uncertain fear of clumsiness. Still to this day, I fear I may randomly fall on a small child and seriously injure them, I do not know why as this is not nor has been a pattern but it is a constant fear I have around small children.

Being a Bouncer however, I have gained more experience in the recent months. It started out as a random opportunity that has continued on for the diversity of company and unique experiences I probably will not have in grad school or at church. I have been regularly working at rather upscale lounge/bar/club for several months. I spend most of the time directing people towards the bathroom and ensuring the line moves smoothly and fairly. Seldom are there kerfuffles which I usually do not get to get between. Prior to a couple weeks ago the best bit of action was getting between several Marines and a gentleman wearing part of a Marine uniform per his style. All parties were inebriated thus tempers flew and I was thankful for my girth.

A couple weeks ago, midway through the shift I had a serious “I don’t need this” moment. In the span of twenty minutes, a patron partially puked on me as he was running to a stall and a drunken patron lambasted me with insults for no reason whatsoever. In the moment it was almost text book drunk napoleon complex. The gentleman was well into his 40’s, I stood several inches above him and physics were clearly in my favor. In retrospect he was so gone, I doubt he would remember any part of that exchange, but it did grieve me to see such darkness flow from incoherent thought. It was the first time I can remember across any of my security type of jobs which I was genuinely angry at a patron, given my position and his behavior I could’ve easily justified force, but something restrained me in that moment.

Shortly after I ejected him from the venue, I recognized a similarity in an area of life that I fear so much. Drunken people often behave little better (if not worse) than toddlers, and they are adults… The humor I found in that observation has painted a quaint smirk when the going gets tough. Another realization I found was the humility I must maintain on duty in order to de-escalate situations. Nowhere in any official security type training is this mindset advocated or discussed, but in my experience doing security as ministry and service at large, we must conduct ourselves first in humility. Humble enough to let patrons speak the vilest words towards you or the people you care about without so much as a flinch. Humble enough to get vomited on without complaint. Humble enough to remember the purpose of a job in even the most unconventional places is not for the pay.