Solitude: A Narrative

March 2005

The tension builds as our Drill Sergeants demonstrate to us the proper wear of the beret. This is the award a soldier received in the completion of Basic Combat Training. Our commander runs through the drill and ceremony command of “Don berets!” and the National Anthem is played. I remember Jonathan mentioning that after Basic he found it odd that tears flowed at the sound of the tune. I understood that sentiment, I too had a couple tears fall. The anthem did not mean anything more or less, only the understanding of sacrifice deepened. There is also a sense of joy, those who have served in the past, I now get to join their ranks as a brother in arms.

For the last week or so, we knew Family Day was coming. Basic is all but over, we have qualified in our soldering tasks, completed our final field training exercises, the hard part was more than over. We were excited to be finished, to be Soldiers. Much of that week was spent preparing our nearly bare dress uniforms which would be the final mark that we were indeed soldiers. There were logistical details from our Drill Sergeants being forwarded on a regular basis. That week the most soldierly thing we did was clean our weapons to excess. I don’t really recall what we talked about other than respective girlfriends or missed food and alcohol. I longed to eat better food but I had neither a girlfriend nor a preferred drink to miss, it was still  few months before I hit 21. There was an unspoken excitement, particularly among the National Guardsmen and Reservists. After these eight weeks they would go home to their families, it made sense they would be present for the graduation. Us, active duty, we would simply get on the bus and head to our next training site. It was not until the day of, that we learned we would take a non-stop bus from Fort Leonard Wood Missouri to Huachuca Arizona. It turned out we were graduating during Spring Break and plane tickets were too difficult to acquire, or that was what our Drill SGTs relayed to us. I preferred that idea more, that meant more freedom, as we would have a new complement of Drill SGTs to greet us. I would take a 30-hour bus ride over a 3 hour flight any day of the week under those conditions.

I wanted to shrug it all off as my comrades were excited to be greeted by family at graduation. It was an easy calculation, between the flight and hotel, it would be wholly impractical to want anyone to come watch my graduation. California was a long way from Missouri, the roads were unclear. Could mom even navigate to find where on base we would be? All this for a few hours of family time before we board the bus for our next evolution of training. It isn’t worth it, it can’t be. So I convince Mom that I didn’t want her to bother with going to graduation. This is what it means to be a soldier right? Think of the practical choices more than what would be nice. I have endured plenty of difficult things, this is just another thing to shrug off…Besides, this next bit of training is only a few more months before I get leave between my final duty station. By then I’ll even have some leave saved up so I won’t have to go broke to be home. I’ve barely been gone two months, I need to prepare to be gone for years. That is what Iraq will have for me.

December 2005

My first Christmas away from home. Most of the unit is gone on block leave, there might be ¼ of us left here, more or less going through the motions. I am in Germany after all. I get to see snow and with most of the unit gone, the days will be really relaxed, and they were. I had just been home in August, it didn’t make sense to go home after only a 3 months away, plus have you seen the price of the plane tickets? Way not worth it, I’ll just go home next year…

February 2009

The last 48 hours are kind of surreal, the same kind like when we took our first steps in Kuwait and the bright sun shone in our faces with a biting brilliance never before experienced. We are all exhausted. Between the 30+ hours of flying, waiting in the ever so cushy “Freedom Zone” between Customs and our flight back towards civilization, everything in me is just gone. We are finally offloading the plane back at Fort Hood. I see the Division Band, but between the keeping in step and not wanting to fall down the flight stairs I’ll just look onward. I’m glad the band got to go home early, we were all tired. It was too bad they have to do all these “welcome home” gigs. I have no idea what I’ll be doing for the next weeks or months, but I know it wouldn’t be much.

We get on the buses and I’m trying to recognize where we were. I didn’t travel around Texas much. I was with the unit only a couple months before we deployed and I didn’t own a car. Beyond the main streets of the base, I’m lost. I think we had a police escort on the way back to base, that was a nice gesture. As the buses pull up and I look for other single friends who will be just as bored after this I am unsuccessful. I was one of the lucky ones to get back with the first group as the unit demobilized. It would take a week or so before the whole unit gets back, even then people will go on leave almost immediately. I will have two, maybe three weeks of absolute chill, but since I’m not taking leave just yet, it will be paid vacation!

The buses pull up to Division Headquarters, finally somewhere familiar. We unload from the bus, leave our bags, and instructed to get in formation. Oh, right there will be a “welcome back speech” cause the Army loovess ceremonies. I just want a shower and a real bed. We form up all nice and pretty, thank goodness we are outside. It is hot and none of us have showered in at least 30 hours, possibly 48. I wish I remembered to bring more baby wipes for the trip back. As we get the instructions from the Sergeant in charge we are going to have a “move that bus” kind of reveal because Extreme Home Makeover is all the rage and our loved ones are waiting to see us. Well, everyone else’s loved ones. I didn’t want Mom to get lost travelling again. Finances are always tight, I’ll be home soon anyways, this time for good (or so I thought). I’ve been alone this whole time, this is nothing.

“Dis-missed!” Oh, thank goodness the speech was short. That is a man that knows his soldiers! As we walk across the parade field, the formation now broken, families run for each other. It is worth noting, when everyone is wearing a uniform it is really hard to spot anyone individually. I see young couples express their joy. Fathers hug their children. This is a beautiful sight to see. Wait, did that guy just kiss a bottle of Johnnie Walker? I guess his wife really knows him… I get off the parade field and look for the bus with my dufflebag. I’ll be living out this until my belongs get out of storage, that might take a week or two. I need to find where I’ll be living. Good for everyone else, but I’ll celebrate when I get home…

“Joe!!!” Did someone call my name? Who here knows me by my first name? Oh! It is Max and Tiff! Good thing I have friends in the band. I tell them the situation and Max says he’ll pick me up after I get settled in my new barracks room. It is still the late morning, we are going to hit the town! This is a particular gift, I wasn’t expecting anyone to do anything for me. Here are some friends AND they want to spend the day with me. It is going to be a good day.

Be a Good Soldier: A Valentine’s Day Post

And the crowds asked him, “What then shall we do?” And he answered them, “Whoever has two tunics[b] is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.” Tax collectors also came to be baptized and said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Collect no more than you are authorized to do.”Soldiers also asked him, “And we, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not extort money from anyone by threats or by false accusation, and be content with your wages.” - Luke 3:10-14 (ESV)

For those of us who have served, this passage has fair literal value as it does general value. On this day of days what comes to mind is the broader message Jesus had to his followers. Do your job and do it well. In the recent weeks I have had several conversation in-real-life as well as digitally concerning the place singles have in the Church, particularly for the post-college pre-marriage stage, perhaps even moreso for those who are *gasp* not even in a relationship. Some of us look to the structures our local churches provide, or don’t. Some of us question the micro-culture of modern evangelicalism if it has a place for singles. According to Pew, the age of marriage among my generation is the oldest it has been in decades, perhaps in modern history. Even with these attainable benchmarks, I still exceed these with a healthy margin. What is one to do?

Allow me to segue to another reoccurring discussion I recently had. I promise to connect the dots. A disgruntled veteran was lamenting the sense of unfulfilled purpose he had, because though he answered the call to war, he did not engage in combat. For those unfamiliar with the indoctrination phase of military training, a fair amount of dehumanization must take place in order to make us comfortable with the concept of taking human life. This ranges from our enthusiastic chants of making the “green grass grow”, to the more calm and concentrated exercises of practicing marksmanship on human silhouettes. This was in response to an important report by Brigadier General SLA Marshall’s study of WWI and Civil War soldiers which he found no more than 15-20% of soldiers in combat fired their weapons at their enemies in battle. There has been much discussion since then, but the point remains, the indoctrination phase of military training focuses on “socializing” us in a foreign culture. The most basic aspect of that culture is to follow lawful orders. This is often summarized that a junior enlisted has only three tasks to accomplish. “Be in the right place, at the right time, in the right uniform.” All else their superiors will instruct them as needed. I take this universal principle and apply it to those service members who have been left with the sense of longing. One of the best portrayals of this attitude in film was from this scene in Jarhead (NSFW Language). My response to the distraught brother-in-arms comes from King David.

Then David came to the two hundred men who had been too exhausted to follow David, and who had been left at the brook Besor. And they went out to meet David and to meet the people who were with him. And when David came near to the people he greeted them. Then all the wicked and worthless fellows among the men who had gone with David said, “Because they did not go with us, we will not give them any of the spoil that we have recovered, except that each man may lead away his wife and children, and depart.” But David said, “You shall not do so, my brothers, with what the Lord has given us. He has preserved us and given into our hand the band that came against us. Who would listen to you in this matter? For as his share is who goes down into the battle, so shall his share be who stays by the baggage. They shall share alike.” And he made it a statute and a rule for Israel from that day forward to this day. - 1 Samuel 30:21-25 (ESV)

If you are unfamiliar with the story begin with verse 1. Anyways, the example provided by David and echoed in the military’s own ethic, our job is to follow orders. Those orders might provide opportunity for valor, but the chances are they won’t. In fact, the vast majority of military service consists of mundane tasks and orders, such that if one ever gets such an opportunity they are outside the norm, even those at war. Even then, to many men of valor, the conditions that provided that opportunity for valor have been frequently described as their worst day ever. Actually, this view appears to be rather common among our nation’s most honored.

I have lived as a soldier and as a single Christian. Through those years some points of isolation were worse than others. As I stand back with a view of God’s great mercies, grace, and love, I am reminded of the simple task we have been asked to do. To pick up our cross and follow him. The simplicity of what it means to b a Christian doesn’t fade, but the depth of those simple instructions only grows with our obedience. In that light, enjoy these Valentine’s Day cards.

The Failure of Democracy?

As news continually updates us with more impassioned protests, screaming pundits, and overall mass divisiveness across the nation, if we can backup a bit perhaps these thoughts might offer an explanation of what has been happening. Let us see if we can accurately describe the current state of affairs. The “United States had become a nation polarized by specific regional identities… The Democrats... emphasized the right of individual states to create and enforce laws… The divide in the parties can be seen in the state’s political newspapers… Debates about the bill erupted throughout the nation. Despite public opposition, Douglass, “utilizing all his powers of argument, his prestige, and his mastery of parliamentary tactics [forced] the bill through Congress by the narrowest of margins.” Yes, I admit there was a certain level of cherry picking used to make the quotes fit, but I think you get the point. Please do not think I am particularly targeting the Democratic party of today as a parallel of the pro-slavery Democrat party of the 19th century. That discussion would distract from the issue this hopes to address. That is, the level of political division in this nation is not uncharted territory and perhaps if we take a step back there might be some perspective to gain on the causes.

I do not think it is too much to compare the current political climate today to that leading up to the passage of the Kansas-Nebraska act. Namely, there are bouts of unrest across the nation over hotly divided issues, which at large might be summarized as Identity Politics which more or less follow clear political partisanship divides. Sentiments were strong and divided about who gets to govern whom, and the federal system at large was in question. Insert the overused quip about those who do not remember history here. The nice thing about remembering history is the prospective we have, especially when there is a plethora of recorded writings and plenty of time to separate us from the passions of the time. We can have a clear understanding of the sentiments at the time while being isolated enough that the issue is less personal in nature.

Conventional lectures on the road to the Civil War highlight the competing powers between the North and the South that started as soon as independence was gained and continued until the most costly war in our history “settled” it. Consider this perspective, if we were to take a proportional comparison of the Civil War to our current population, 6.5 million people would have lost their lives. The typical lecture might highlight the expansion of the territory in the US and the designation of slave or free as the overall cause. In that approach the point of no return might be the Compromise of 1850, the Dredd Scott decision, or Lincoln's House Divided speech. It might highlight the shift in understanding of the institution of slavery itself, from the Peculiar Institution which Thomas Jefferson thought it to be, to the Positive Good by the late 1830’s. This shift in philosophy fomented the institution that made it worth defending to enough people that it eventually lead to war.

Ultimately, I point to the breakdown of the institutions put in place that prevented our nation from being a direct democracy. These institutions are described in detail in the Federalist, those would be; separation of powers, extended republic, bicameral legislature, and the electoral college to name a few. Summed up, the Federalist system as defined by the Founders and illustrated in the Constitution. There are volumes of writings extolling the virtues and understandings of these structures and I am but a pup in the presence of academic giants. Unfortunately, unless one was home-schooled, there is a very good chance the Federalist or a serious consideration of the Founding documents were not considered unless one took a proactive posture to understand the Founding.

The Separation of Powers essential purpose was to ensure each branch of government would conflict with one another, competing for greater power in their respective branch. In doing so, the three way competition would result in each branch being limited to their own respective range of authority. Imagine giving three children a pie to share in which two children get to make the slices and the third gets to choose which piece to take. It would be in the self interest of the two slice makers to attempt the most even division, in order to maximize their self interest. The 20th century saw a shift in jurisprudence which has furiously sought to judge the law not from the bindings of the text of the statutes, but from the greater wisdom of the judges to accomplish a sort of “justice” not found in the text of the laws under question. For these many decades the Legislature, who has the explicit and exclusive right to make law, has seen fit to abdicate that power in the most controversial issues, because the lifetime appointment of the jurists allow it. Why would a congressperson risk upsetting their constituents if a judge will accomplish the same goal? There are many issues with the Legislature not doing their duty, this is one of the grandest abdications.

The Extended Republic was the notion that the nation would be so diverse that no majority faction (party) would be able to successfully quell the minority. This model essentially spoke against the two-party system. While it is true that within a couple years of the Constitution’s ratification, the very authors separated into parties, for the first hundred years of American politics, third parties held a legitimate place of influence at the federal level. It was not until the 20th century that parties made rules in the House and Senate that continued to grow to the point that third parties are realistically a wasted vote in national elections. One of the most caustic aspects how parties fulfil the right definition of “factions” is how they control committee assignments and maintain a hierarchy of representatives. The best suited representatives are not put in committees for their fitness but instead because they have pleased the party powers to be rewarded with the places of greater influence.

The Bicameral Legislature is the most deliberate sign that direct democracy is not a good thing. The balance of power within the legislature itself, between the House and Senate clearly illustrate the Founders concern of the passions of the people (or mob) should not rule. This was the solution to learned men who considered how the best form of government is made through a social contract while simultaneously and deliberately creating space to slow the process of governance. A majority faction can easily stir a group of people to get any law passed regardless of Constitutionality. The bicameral legislature soothed those passions. Keep in mind, in the original form, Senators were selected by state legislatures. I think one of the most grievous amendments to the nation has been the direct election of senators in the 17th Amendment. This has lead to people so focused on what the Federal government does and an inverse attention to what the state does. The legitimate slowing of the deliberative republican process was the best answer to the diverse regions of the nation. As the nation expanded, the diversity of regions also expanded, hence extending the republic further, that might ensure even greater agreement in the federal laws passed. In the same way, the Electoral College accomplished that goal for the presidency. The legitimacy and need of the Electoral College has been in question a handful of times in the recent decades but in reality it only confirmed that we are a federated republic not a pure democracy. We cannot be a nation of coastal urban elites, or rural lords, but a consensus of the regions.

This is far from a complete analysis of the present political climate, but hopefully these suggestions might add context to your considerations of what this nation was founded to be and what it should become. There are numerous scholars who recognize these things but also recognize the social contract made at the Founding was made to an entirely different society, hence we are being constrained by the rules of the dead. That is a consideration that is worthy to be made. I tend to side, that before we replace the rules of the dead, perhaps we should understand what they made, the issues they addressed, and if we could do better.