I write this more as a marker to
annotate what has been going on lately and how my Christmas was this year. Had
I written this on the 24th I am sure it would have
been a rather depressing blog that didn’t go anywhere… good thing I slept on
it. Starting today I am on a free 3-day off, it was granted by my section to
everyone, I was the last to call upon it and it came just in time. I look
forward to doing nothing for the next two days as well. Take that back, I’ll be
online I little bit more…
It was appropriate to take a look
at the first Christmas
out here and I can only dream of such optimism I had then. Perhaps in the next
couple days I will be refreshed... perhaps. I suppose the greatest thing I have
to learn from this day is my mental breaking point. I don’t think I have
experienced such a mentally fatigued state as I have been leading through this
month. Go figure, working almost 90-hours a week with no days off are bound to
eventually fatigue anyone. I think about the Sabbath and God’s original intent,
part of his plan was to give us time to relax. Throughout this year I have had
those moments when I wondered if it would be better, be it to be scriptural or
not, if I switched to a single full day off instead of two days short days. In
the short run the two half nights are much better, they come twice as often…
and working nights there isn’t a whole lot to do even if I had a full day off.
I need to maintain the night sleep schedule. In the midst of maintaining our
work schedule even our relaxation time is hindered for the sake of the work.
Before you pull out a violin to
play as you read this uplifting blog, this is not intended for sympathy or tell
about all the hardships I endure… hardly, I live in one of the most comfortable
areas in all the country. I can get a hot shower, hot meal, and sleep on a bed
every night. I have an AC/Heater and constant power for whatever luxuries I
decided to bring out here. I am constantly thankful of all I have around me.
One does not need to go far to get to areas where others live in tents, get
maybe a hot meal a day, and showers are a long desired luxury… When I keep the
proper perspective, the fatigue and breaking point I mentioned is about my
capacity at this point. It has been about 10 months since I have had a full day
to relax, a Sabbath if you will. This is one of those times as I am refreshed I
have to ponder what life is like for those who don’t ever take time off. Be it
an inability because of the demands of work or an unwillingness for the sake of
productivity/success, I have to seriously question a person’s motive for
continuing a rigorous work schedule for earthly gain.
Among the things I wish to leave
with the Army as I depart in the coming months is a lifestyle job based on
earthly work. To say I think about the future would be an understatement. Be it
the constant thoughts of “when I get back” or “I can’t wait until” one of those
is not a life spent chasing after money, power, or luxury. The life which
revolves around work, I never wish to return to. It is not that I want to avoid
all other lifestyle jobs; nor do I want to spend a life sitting on a couch
doing nothing, but I will pursue the heavenly. Especially in the midst of the
Recession, in which I have no worries, I can watch the news and people are
scrambling to recover all the material loss they have experienced. What has
become of so many millions who spent their lives chasing after the temporary
things of this life and have seen it vaporize in the recent months? My heart
goes out to them because they have spent so much of their life not knowing how
to chase anything permanent.
The first Christmas was spent hoping for a swift year, this
Christmas is spent in reflection of that year. I am Thankful for getting
through it all, thankful for the things I learned, and thankful for my friends
I have made this year. I can start counting the days until I am homeward bound,
I’d tell you but I am not allowed… it isn’t long.
