Remembering My First Love

This one hit me as I was pondering the activities and thoughts that encompassed this last weekend. Granted the mood extends a bit further than this last weekend, I dare say a couple weeks to a month. I haven’t been feeling spiritually in touch very much in the recent time period. Not so much hot or cold, but lukewarm.

When I put that description into actual thoughts I appreciated John’s letter to Laodicea so much more, I think have a greater appreciation. I recall listening to a Hume message about the churches in Revelations not too long ago. That is just where I know I have been lacking recently. I have been spending so much time reading books about God and good books at that. I wish I would read more often when I am home. In my scurry to get so much spiritually empowering material to set my mind on I forgot about reading scripture. I am looking back now seeing why I didn’t feel as whole as I had before. It was a really awkward feeling too, because I felt so-so. I don’t like being unable to define where I am lacking. I know when I am on fire and passionate, I know when I sin and I feel departed from the close communion that I had. The recent weeks have been filled with “ehhh”, the understanding and ability to look back on it reminds me how important it is to stay in the word. I made the mistake of thinking the spiritual books would be enough or just mad dashed to keep reading the books that I forgot about the one I have had with me all along.

Reading scripture for me has been a constant on and off struggle since my senior year, before then I don’t think I made that much of an attempt to really read scripture on a daily basis. Somewhere in my “busy” schedule I replace the time spent on something, hopefully good intentioned and get caught up so easily to forget to return to my first love. The bible is clear about what we need to focus on to stay plugged in, why is it so hard for me to follow through?

Why is it that when I am on the right track and feel my strongest I tend to fall so easily and without major incident so often? When on the defensive my guard is up, my head in the right place, once I get confident, my guard goes down and then I am writing another blog about failure. I still remember to never say “never” in a prayer, I am just tired of the cycle.

I treasure the conversations from this weekend on IM that got me pondering about spiritual things. I greatly underestimated the support that you all give me at home; every time I get to talk to you guys about real stuff it really encourages me. I was talking with one of the guys this morning about Kansas again, I am looking forward to it so much, not cause I don’t like Germany, but I am so alone out here. I’ve been whining about being lonely for months, probably cause it is never getting any easier. I will certainly be able to connect with people that have never been plugged into a strong church or at least share experiences, perhaps this is exactly what I was thinking of when I said I wanted to join “to gain life experience”. I hope the trials I have endured will be able to validate what I can say to so many that have left their church home and lost their passion. I hope from what I experienced and with God carrying me through it all I can encourage the college students in Kansas. Oh yea, apparently there is a major college across the street from the post. I hear so many statistics about people that leave their faith when they leave home, hopefully that statistic won’t be as high in Kansas.

Epilogue: Sometime after I wrote this and hoped so genuinely to move with my unit to Kansas, I was informed that I would not be going. I went to a new unit in Germany, it had its own blessings.

Role of Men

This is one of those topics that I have held these strong beliefs about that I just haven't gotten around to writing down and sharing with you all. I suppose an additional influence on me finally writing this topic is at work I have been listening to the "Guys" talks from my Hume discs the last couple weeks, what a man should be in God's eyes has been a topic of some contemplation. This has been a hot topic of discussion with several of the guys at the bible studies, so yea I have been pondering this one for a while…

The verses I reference much of my thoughts will be from Ephesians 5:21-33. I will probably reference some other verses in this but these are where my primary thoughts come from, that and a 2002 talk by Cliff Carey. I will probably add some thoughts from Wild at Heart as well. So let’s get this started

What are the roles of men and how are we doing at accomplishing them?

Men by creation and by what I believe are supposed to be leaders. Does this mean women cannot be leaders? No, they are far less likely, I do not think that the gift of teaching would be withheld from women, and being that the majority of pastors are also teachers, I think it is appropriate for a woman to have that role. She will be at a disadvantage because there will be some men that do not like receiving authority from a woman but that is their problem and not hers. Anyways, since we are to be leaders what does that mean? A recent definition of a leader I heard was a person that has an influence on another, that seems to be a rather vague definition but I think it is very true and gets a good start.

On the more specific scale, what does it mean as being a man? I think Ephesians 5 spells it out very well; we are to lead our families as Christ leads the church. Many men are willing to take that role however; they attempt to do it their own way. That is our first mistake, we will read half of the paragraph, and we are to be leaders of the family, but then fail to read the second half. It feels kind of weird writing on how I think we (as men) should be leading our families when I have yet to even start the process of building a family, but then again I tend to think about a lot of things for the future.

The main point I noticed with scripture and how many troubles could be solved if we’d pay attention seems clear as day to me. Being in this culture, I think it goes without saying men still do not show their emotions. It is rare when one will openly and this is very wrong. I recall a few Dateline or 20/20 episodes that were devoted to the masculine style of raising children and their lack of emotional sensitivity. Scripture tells men to love their wives. Is it interesting that the command to men would be an appeal of emotions to men while the appeal to women are behavior? Isn’t it interesting the facets of human personality which each sex most frequently do too much of? It can be said men are too action oriented while women are too emotional, and our instructions for each other go to the opposite roles? I also found it somewhat humorous that women are given the simple instructions to submit, while the passage to men is given, explained, and reinforced almost like we would want to ask question about what that meant to love our wives.

Now to the single guy, something I can far better talk about being a single man for however many years you will credit me being an adult. Since I do not have a family to lead, what am I to do? This is a rather new thing I have noticed in my development. You all know I tend to be the behind-the-scenes kind of guy, I don’t mind second fiddle and although I want to be part of the leadership I have not wanted to be top dog. I think as single men our leadership skills should be spent or utilized in the church. After all, that is also our family, is it not? This is where my thoughts touch more into the Hume talks and Wild at Heart, men in the church often display themselves as weak, passive and that our goal is to be funny. I notice this in all age groups but being that I spent so much time watching the high schoolers this goes to them more directly. We focus our energies so much on being entertaining that most do not see their own potential to lead ministry.

I have developed a heart for youth ministry and men’s ministry. I love the youth because we have a chance to truly change the world, I know it is cliché but it is still true. I have a heart for men’s ministry because I see how few leaders who have taken their God given role and I know they can be better leaders than I can. This is one reason why I seem to not be preoccupied with the opposite sex so often I see service that needs to be done. Not to say that relationships with the opposite sex hinder our spiritual leadership, if anything they should make us better leaders, but I like to take on one thing at a time.

I am at odds with the fact that churches seem to be run by women; in such that, they are the driving force of growth, the dominant numbers ect. Part of me is giving props to the women for stepping up and doing what men should be doing, the other part senses that I am trying to motivate men to be what God created them to be while they sit back and watch the women work. This is probably a spiel I’d give to a guy’s bible study but, hey this also about par for my blogs. I am not saying that we all have to be the Leader, but we all should be in somewhat of a leadership role, be it mere mentoring a younger man around us or actually being one of the leaders with a title. We should be doing what we were meant to do, my hope, when I get back home is that there would be so many men actively being Men of God that there are too many of us doing too much and we need to start another building project. I hope this is a message that could become one that is preached to the choir, cause as of yet it is not.

Epilogue: While I still believe women can and do receive the gift of teaching I do not believe they should be in a position of spiritual authority over men. The direct scripture reference 1 Timothy 2. There is much more to the proper and loving understanding of this passage which will likely have set of blogs. You can start here.