Joys of Being Single pt II

I was stumped as I was pondering on what to write for the exact joys of being single. Not saying I don't enjoy it for the most part but my blogs intention have been to divulge my theory on different subjects, relationships/dating included. So for me to continue to explain such information and then gear into a joy of being single it has taken a bit more thought. So building on where I left off, Joys of Being Single Pt I I figured I would go in the direction of what can be learned being single.

I am single, satisfied, and celibate. I think if someone is constantly single and looking they might not stop and enjoy the personal development I have found from this season in my life. The main point of Pt I was the joy of knowing yourself. So it seemed it would make sense to dive into knowing others. I have known for a while I make friends with women far more and easier than with men. I think this is for several main reasons.

First, I am not the typical male. How do I define a typical male? A typical male is one who is constantly on the prowl to seek females for either physical gratification or personal satisfaction. I think this is generally referred to as being a “player” or “pimp”. I wouldn't go so far to say the average male is a player or a pimp but I will say the majority either attempt to live that lifestyle or hold it in high regard. From what I have seen of it, the goal of the player/pimp is to either have one night stands and or multiple girlfriends simultaneously without any sense of remorse. I believe that lifestyle is altogether shallow and selfish. This is perhaps the ONLY thing I can agree with feminists.

Second, I can talk about my feelings. I have gotten over the stigma, actually I don't know if I ever had it, to be able to describe in words what I am thinking and feeling. This can also fall into the not-typical-male criteria, it is rather more common for males to not be in touch or have the desire to express themselves emotionally. When they do, it happens to be in the situation of a relationship. Dare I say, either many men are shallow or have walls which keep people away from their inner being. I think I am pretty far from either of those descriptions. I am irked that most males have not yet been given social permission to express themselves emotionally in a masculine manner. In fact, the very thought of expressing one's emotions is still socially, feminine.

Third, I do not seek a relationship upon first meeting a woman. Any relationship seriously based on physical attraction will only last as long as the plastic surgery can be paid for. I seek to be friends first, I don't have any pick up lines nor do I try to flatter a girl by her attractiveness. I want to be friends first. Most men asses if they are “interested” within a few seconds of seeing a woman. They will introduce themselves to start a relationship (or less). Their goal from first sight is to quickly determine if they want to hook up or start a relationship. Maybe, since I don't approach women with intent to get something from them and they realize it by me being authentic, they are willing to open up on a personal level. Because my goal is to meet people/be friendly, I approach women as individual people with functioning brains. Something I think the Rico Sauvé approach completely ignores.

As I expressed in The Single Guy moving from being the friend to possibly boyfriend is completely unknown territory for me. On the other hand, I know who people are. I know how to talk, approach, and treat them on a level foreign to most women in modern society. To value someone for who they are, I think is one of the most powerful ways of sharing my faith and a great way to authentically know someone. Few people go about life to truly try to understand the people we share this world with. This is kind of ties into my current read, people are yearning for community. So far the book has addressed how people are lonely on the inside and how small groups meet that need. I want to try to meet people's need, to know them. I take it even further Christians ought to be seeking people to meet the need as well.

Enough of the segue, back to the theory. The theory as mentioned in Dating, or Lack Thereof a relationship should not be start on a superficial level. Through my method of social interaction people who I know on the superficial level are not people I would claim to know. The joy of knowing people on their individual level is why I had not had a desire to start a romantic relationship. I was satisfied with knowing my friends, the friendships I held were rather deep. The change that has hit me over the months has been my desire for more than that because I am starting to approach the point in my life where I want to start a family. For the whole family thing to happen, I can't really do that with just friends, unless I start a cult or something.

For Jonathan's sake and pickiness I think I will write a closing paragraph. The second joy of being single is learning and knowing how to interact with women on a similar level as knowing men, we’ll probably even deeper. Which reminds me of Christian Men, men in the church are not being what they should be. I am also reminded of a Hume talk that will likely result in a blog about the general lack of emotional awareness and ability to love (phileo) fellow men. The social skills of being able to interact with the opposite sex is highly effective in sharing Christ's love and knowing the true person.