Hard Lessons Simple Truths pt I

I shouldn’t say mantra, more like motto. Yes, motto is appropriate. I think this was revealed to me sometime during my Iraq deployment. God constantly provides circumstances for us to learn his simple truths: He is God, He loves me, He knows what is best for me, He is in control, He is able. To throw an “and” or “etc.” to the end of that short list does not do it justice. I would rather make that grammatical mistake than limit the truths of God and his character.

Moving forward from 2009, there have been a number of areas of life which God consistently showed/s me new or deeper understandings of his simple truths, through hard lessons. I remember when my roommate Dan, was laughing (it was fair, reasonable, and prophetic) about my certainty that I would find my spouse at Hume in 2009. It seemed reasonable at the time. I can think of at least a dozen friends whom I have worked with in my Hummer summers who have met their spouse as summer staff. On the odd chance a Hume friend reads this, allow me to clarify “meet” not “start dating” as my first rule of Hume summers is “Do not start a relationship.” This rule was learned after my first summer on staff way back when… well when most of my Hume friends were in elementary school.

It is fun to look through my singleness blogs, that season of life was beneficial for my own growth but something hit around 26, a serious bit of “been there done that, next chapter please.” “Oh grasshopper, you have no idea” would seem like an appropriate near audible response at the time. That season had me seriously question much of those claims I was so happy to explain to others in my young adult years, but with the hope of summer camp and roughly 160+ Christian women working in a common mission, what could go wrong? Or not happen… at all. I was anxious as a near 27-year old Christian single veteran who in some way probably felt like I earned such a gift as a manifestation for my demonstrations of faith throughout my military career.

It would not have been unreasonable at the time/stage to “settle down.” I was behind the curve on the Evangelical timeline but still in healthy range within the secular timeline. It was an odd feeling to return to a world, in which we all grew, professionally and spiritually, but when I returned to my home and church there was a constant feeling of being left behind. While I was overseas doing my thing most of my friends graduated college, got married. At that time they were mostly pre-child stage so things were a little different but not wholly different. It took an edge off that God pretty much gave me a professional job as soon as I got back home. I was in a financial and professional position that I did not need to finish college but still provide well for my forthcoming family. Returning home from the Army had every bit of “When I get home I am gonna…” there were even the necessary steps provided that it looked like those hopes would be realized and fulfilled. I think that was when God started to teach me a new kind of patience.

When I left the Army I was certain my travelling was going to calm down. There were a few months where I fully believed I had the next 20-30 years mapped from that spot. Not knowing what God had in store for me reminds me of how small scale I often look for things. I was at a great job at the time; actually it was literally the best possible option available for my situation. It was truly a gift. Yet, the personal stresses that came along with my department’s expansion and transitions it was clear to me by the time summer ended I might need to look for an exit plan. With that realization of my professional instability so sailed my plans to settle down. It would be irresponsible to pursue someone when I could not provide.

The hardest decision I had to resolve before I enlisted was accepting the fact that I would remain single for the entire duration of my enlistment. God made that condition very easy by not placing any practicing single Christian girls in my path, but that resolution was always present. Like my resolution to abstain from alcohol that was fulfilled shortly after my return to civilian life, I hoped there would be other manifestations of fulfillment.  Yet, instead of receiving my vision of fulfillment, I started what has so far been a seven year journey to understand God’s simple lessons with the occasional and sometimes constant hard truth.

As each year has passed, and especially since I have started my current chapter, that is graduate school, being satisfied in this lesson I have had an almost tangible sense of satisfaction trusting that God is God, He loves me, He is able, He knows what is best for me, and I need to continue to be patient.  

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means — the only complete realist.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Providence Verified pt. I - Providence in Uncontrolled Plans

When I started to read theology for fun in Iraq, yes I am that nerd if you did not yet know; I found a certain level of rationality behind much of the Reformed understandings. Prior to this process of my own theological beliefs I was an ardent supporter of the philosophical free will. Not that reformed theology denies free will per se, but as John Piper explained it, we de-emphasize it. Anyways, this is not an abstract attempt at pop philosophy this time. In the recent years I have encountered true scholars and on the off chance they read this I do not wish them to cringe too much. In this one, I will go through the instances of God’s clear providence in my life. I do not intend this to be an exhaustive record as there are and will be things I have not yet recognized.

Is it providential that I am named after the man whose largest portion of scripture is about God’s providence? To this day my happy place is Hume Lake. I was first introduced to this tree filled epicenter of ministry almost 20 years ago… Woah. The impression Hume left on me in my junior high and high school years has been instrumental in my adult life. Not just in the formation of my ministry pedagogy and discovering a passion for teaching, but in the relationships I have built there. No matter how long it has been, or what staff have moved on, I know this place dear to my heart is always the same because of the mission.

The providential example, when I signed my contract in the Army, it was an even number of years, I could not adjust it according to months to reschedule approximately when my term would be complete. The month you sign on is the month you are finished. I signed the contract in January, as a disenfranchised aimless community college student. While a normal overseas duty is two years, at a single unit, I spent 11 months there; I was literally one month short to accompany my unit to Fort Riley, Kansas. Per Army regulations, I needed to complete at least half a tour before they would consider an exception. At the time, it was a very difficult time. It still ranks among the hardest periods of life, second only to Afghanistan. Against my hopes and prayers, I did not get to return to the US. We were being assigned to a newly formed Combat Aviation Regiment which was getting ready for an upcoming deployment the following year. There were a few dozen of us that were transferred to this new unit.

 It was a bit larger than my previous base but still small when compared to a base in the US. It was there, my first day at check in that I was informed I would be going to one of two battalions at a smaller base about 20 miles from the main base. I was the only one from my old unit going there. I was really going it alone then. When I got picked up by my squad leader and started to learn about the unit. The battalion I was being assigned had just got back from a deployment a few months earlier. Of the seven potential units I could have been assigned, six were scheduled to be deployed, I was assigned to the seventh. I enlisted with the full desire to deploy but despite my best efforts such goals were proving elusive.

I had 13 months left in Germany. There was a vibrant base ministry largely through Protestant Women of the Chapel. The demographics of this unit were similar to my last, no active single Christians to hang out with. The chapel opportunities on base were much better, a weekly Bible study. It was during this time that I was able to go to Czech Republic and Slovakia for about a week each, free! I made new friends and carried on. When my time in Germany was coming to a close I was desperate to deploy. The challenge, my whole active career thus far I was assigned to aviation units, I was not aviation but a combat support role. In the longest of long shots, because my rank was still that of the highest paid nobody, I was able to get in touch with the Branch Manager. This individual is the one that may or may not grant requests during times of transitions. At the time, I was at least two ranks below the necessary level to be considered for any favors. Then again, my request was simple, “Who was deploying, and soon?” That was a request the manager was happy to oblige. I was given the choice of Hawaii or Texas.

Most of you would jump on the chance to go to Hawaii on Uncle Sam’s dime, as I considered it. However, Hawaii was not the goal, Iraq was. I did some research as to what units were slated to deploy around the time of my arrival and I learned it was a Brigade element was slated to go. This was an echelon higher than my previous experience but I frequently worked with the brigade’s section at my previous unit, there was opportunity there. Texas showed the division headquarters was slated to go. This was a DREAM assignment. At the division and corps levels of organization, my particular field actually had dedicated units assigned. At the brigade and battalion levels my job would be a small section within the headquarters company. Forsaking the pineapples, sunshine, and fresh fish, I requested Texas. My other reason for Texas was the ability to travel home. I knew I would be discharged shortly after Iraq and figured it would be much easier to transition from Texas to California than Hawaii to California.

Fast forward several more months and I am, for the first time, in a company of people with my job. Keep in mind, my two previous units we averaged about 1:100 of our Military Occupational Specialty (MOS). Now it was 1:1, I was in a paradise. I was blessed with Brothers and Sisters that nearly every meal consisted of authentic fellowship, praising the wonders of God amidst in the middle of a war. The fact that God preserved me to be with the community who I deployed with was not an accident, it was providence.

For a number of years, the headquarters element of Baghdad was either 4^th Infantry or 1^st Cavalry, both units stationed at Fort Hood at the time. Multi-National Division Baghdad (MND-B) was affectionately called Fort Hood Forward. When I arrived to the unit, almost all of my company was part of the previous deployment the previous year. This was the epitome of deploying every other year. Anyways, at least as we were told, to give 1^st Cav a break we would deploy earlier so that they would not miss two Christmases in a row. I believe the idea was that they would return the favor in kind, but when it didn’t we ended up doing two consecutive Christmases. Part of that mess included me and many others being involuntarily extended what was known as stop loss. We knew when we would be returning to Texas, but we did not know when we were going be able to be released.

I got back stateside in early February, based on a playing with the numbers, I re-enlisted to stay in until March of 2009, but that was not going to happen due to the chaos that was returning from deployment. There were required procedures and checks Big Army needed to conduct to let us out upon returning from a deployment, in theory it is a good idea, in practice… your tax dollars were at work. It was in this mess that I realized I would be released May 30, just in time for summer. As soon as I got back I started an application for Hume Lake. A dream I had years before, hoping to return to Hume, but with no way of the schedules coinciding without wasting a semester it did not seem possible. Instead, God knew of my laments and hopes, chuckled at my lack of faith, and let me return to Hume as the first act of civilian life.
 
Continue on the journey in Part II

Babysitting and Bouncing

I suppose I should start the caveat that my baby sitting experience is very limited… I’ve done it once… with a bilingual toddler… she would interchange between German and English. I was helping out an Army buddy so he and his wife could have a night out and they put her down before they left, so it really was not too difficult but I am generally still afraid of small children. This has not stopped numerous friends from handing me their little ones over the years, so I could say there has been a progression of absolutely irrational fear to uncertain fear of clumsiness. Still to this day, I fear I may randomly fall on a small child and seriously injure them, I do not know why as this is not nor has been a pattern but it is a constant fear I have around small children.

Being a Bouncer however, I have gained more experience in the recent months. It started out as a random opportunity that has continued on for the diversity of company and unique experiences I probably will not have in grad school or at church. I have been regularly working at rather upscale lounge/bar/club for several months. I spend most of the time directing people towards the bathroom and ensuring the line moves smoothly and fairly. Seldom are there kerfuffles which I usually do not get to get between. Prior to a couple weeks ago the best bit of action was getting between several Marines and a gentleman wearing part of a Marine uniform per his style. All parties were inebriated thus tempers flew and I was thankful for my girth.

A couple weeks ago, midway through the shift I had a serious “I don’t need this” moment. In the span of twenty minutes, a patron partially puked on me as he was running to a stall and a drunken patron lambasted me with insults for no reason whatsoever. In the moment it was almost text book drunk napoleon complex. The gentleman was well into his 40’s, I stood several inches above him and physics were clearly in my favor. In retrospect he was so gone, I doubt he would remember any part of that exchange, but it did grieve me to see such darkness flow from incoherent thought. It was the first time I can remember across any of my security type of jobs which I was genuinely angry at a patron, given my position and his behavior I could’ve easily justified force, but something restrained me in that moment.

Shortly after I ejected him from the venue, I recognized a similarity in an area of life that I fear so much. Drunken people often behave little better (if not worse) than toddlers, and they are adults… The humor I found in that observation has painted a quaint smirk when the going gets tough. Another realization I found was the humility I must maintain on duty in order to de-escalate situations. Nowhere in any official security type training is this mindset advocated or discussed, but in my experience doing security as ministry and service at large, we must conduct ourselves first in humility. Humble enough to let patrons speak the vilest words towards you or the people you care about without so much as a flinch. Humble enough to get vomited on without complaint. Humble enough to remember the purpose of a job in even the most unconventional places is not for the pay.

Anticipating Love Wins

I saw about a week ago from a facebook post Rob Bell is releasing a new book. Justin Taylor, a well known Reformed blogger, kicked off with a rather controversial blog about a controversial book by one of the most controversial pastors in America. I couldn't see the video of mention that many pastors have took full aim and depending where you stand either jumped the gun or addressed an important issue without haste. This is not about my speculation from Rob's video; it is rather hard to make an informed comment on a video I haven't been able to watch.

I have read all of Rob Bell's books thus far and I will read Love Wins. I don't read him because I particularly agree with what he writes, I read his writings because they reach audiences I am very concerned about. Like a parent taking an interest in their kid's video games or sports, when my students read a book you better believe I will read it too, if nothing else to discuss it regardless of content. I read his first book, Velvet Elvis, in an attempt to gain an understanding of the Emerging Church at the time. I continued to read his books when I learned a number of students read his material as well.

What have I gathered from Mr. Bell's writing until this week? He is one of the most gifted speakers I have heard. He is very creative in how he presents ideas and can quickly grab an audience through empathetic tone and genuine concern. On the other hand, in Velvet Elvis especially he proposed dangerous ideas but in his likeable fashion, those ideas we presented in a non-confrontational "just think about it" type of manner. I have yet to hear any response or clarification from his claims in Velvet Elvis. He does not need to answer to me by any means, as a pastor and teacher he is already held to a higher standard. I got to a point; whenever people discuss "What I think about Rob Bell" all I can say is "be careful". His roundabout speaking/writing style in combination with his rhetorically styled questions which offer no clarification can push people in a very dangerous direction without a firm foundation in scripture. This was where I was two weeks ago.

I cannot comment on what I have not read, what will be in Love Wins. Thanks to a recent blog post by Kevin Deyoung I can comment like Kevin did, on what Rob did say.

"Will only a few select people make it to heaven? And will billions and billions of people burn forever in hell? And if that’s the case, how do you become one of the few? Is it what you believe or what you say or what you do or who you know or something that happens in your heart? Or do you need to be initiated or take a class or converted or being born again? How does one become one of these few?

Then there is the question behind the questions. The real question [is], “What is God like?”, because millions and millions of people were taught that the primary message, the center of the gospel of Jesus, is that God is going to send you to hell unless you believe in Jesus. And so what gets subtly sort of caught and taught is that Jesus rescues you from God. But what kind of God is that, that we would need to be rescued from this God? How could that God ever be good? How could that God ever be trusted? And how could that ever be good news?

This is why lots of people want nothing to do with the Christian faith. They see it as an endless list of absurdities and inconsistencies and they say, why would I ever want to be a part of that? See what we believe about heaven and hell is incredibly important because it exposes what we believe about who God is and what God is like. What you discover in the Bible is so surprising, unexpected, beautiful, that whatever we have been told and been taught, the good news is actually better than that, better than we could ever imagine.
The good news is that love wins." - Rob Bell, Love Wins Trailer

As an example of Rob's speaking style in the trailer Kevin makes a comparable "video" to demonstrate Bell's speaking style in his Love Wins trailer. In Kevin's example he asks a series of rhetorical questions which don't sound like questions nearly as much as "just consider this" and continuous flow of "what ifs" strategically placed that one gets the sense these are statements, not questions. I read a number of the comments to Kevin's blog, one of the more frequent objections to Kevin's assessment of Mr. Bell's speaking style is "not to jump to conclusions solely based on a two minute video".

This is where I chime in, because unlike many of the commentators in Kevin's blog, I have read all of Rob's books. The speaking style from this video excerpt is one of Rob's hallmarks. He speaks the same way he writes. Rob will pose controversial questions to long held doctrinal beliefs and leave it at that, he opens the door to question what has been established as orthodoxy theology and does not develop the pseudo-claims any further.

I am reminded of parts in Velvet Elvis when Rob questions the necessity of the virgin birth of Jesus in just the same fashion as these lines of questions seem to imply Universalism. Perhaps the scariest thing that came to my mind as I read the text from the video, I was reminded of a section in scripture when similar speaking occurred. It was the conversation the serpent had with Eve... I am not saying I believe Rob Bell is Satan. I am saying the manner in which he writes/speaks and the content behind that may sadly be satanic. I hope I am wrong, but I will have to wait until the book is released to see what is truly said.

Biblical Gender Roles: Headship vs. Domination

Among my deployment goals, at least for the duration of the deployment, one has been to write more regularly. Clashing with my desire to write something of substance with a decent frequency has been my understanding or at least growth of my understanding of the given topic I wish to share about. Most recently I raided John Piper's online book repository and have had a more fruitful use of my time. I recently finished Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood (BFMW) and promptly continued on with Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood(RBMW).

When I started reading the first book I was expecting it to talk about masculinity and femininity from scripture. I was thinking something along the lines of John Eldridge's Wild At Heart or Way of the Wild Heart. While it did address masculinity and femininity, the focus was much more specific: defending the complimentarian (gender roles do exist within scripture, such as male headship, pastor/elders, and the sort) view and responding to the egalitarian (gender roles do not exist within scripture and there should be no difference in the manner men and women approach God or each other) view. The topic of gender roles in the church is not one of the most popular topics. In all fairness, I don't think I have ever sat through a sermon addressing gender roles, at least not in person. I have listened to a number of sermons which the gender roles were addressed from time to time but not in detail that would compare with this material. I have read 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Timothy 2, Ephesians 5-6, Titus 2, a number of times. Until a few weeks ago, I never read any articles/essays concerning the Greek text in those verses, or really exploring these topics in depth. Frankly, I was rather unaware of the research and doctrinal implications of these two views. Don't worry I won't attempt to condense the 400 pages I've read so far on this topic into this blog. I wanted to narrow in on what I noticed as a prime issue at the heart of this debate.

The first point I noticed, which has been a bit of a recurring theme among Christian debates, was the immediate approach to scripture. How does each side approach the scriptural support, lack of support, or silence regarding the topic at hand? Did one group tend to focus on arguing from experience vs. scripture? How did they go about trying to address a difficult or culturally unpopular instruction? Did the denial of one non-essential view overflow to a greater essential doctrine peril? One of the variables which make Christian debates particularly easy and painful at the same time is that no matter what, both sides need to rely on Scripture to have any ground. I say easy and painful because many arguments in the secular world cannot come to a solid starting point, yet painful because there should not be such levels of dissension regarding clear teachings of scripture. One side or another often finds themselves judging God's Word instead of humbly approaching it seeking to understand its mystery and submit to its authority.

The second point of controversy within the discussion of gender roles is the misunderstanding of domination compared to headship. Domination is the embodiment of might-over-right, overbearing, abusive, much of what defines popular culture's idea of masculinity. Instead of domination being regarded as the enemy for what it is, masculinity at large was assaulted. Men were told to be passive teddy bears that didn't hurt anyone, their feelings, or to even have a desire to inflict hurt. Some men laid down their masculinity by abdicating their roles as leaders, protectors, and providers. Other men sprinted into the other direction to become dominating womanizing thugs, who disguise themselves as gentlemen because they wear a suit. The modern man has been in crisis to define himself. Domination works for many men as a sense of identity because few women can compete in that arena. The fruit of domination expressed further expressed itself in violent crime, abusive attitudes, and general disregard of others. I would never attempt to defend justification for domination as it is the epitome of immature masculinity. This is the target of reference which egalitarians hone in on to destroy, and for good reason. I have yet to read and I don't expect to ever hear a scriptural defense for a dominating attitude. Headship is the embodiment of mature masculinity, one of my favorite sections of verses in Ephesians 5 describes headship. Christ is to his Church as a husband is to his wife. An excerpt from RBMW which also hits home:

At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships...A man might say, “I am a man and I do not feel this sense of responsibility that you say makes me masculine.” He may feel strong and sexually competent and forceful and rational. But we would say to him that if he does not feel this sense of benevolent responsibility toward women to lead, provide and protect, his masculinity is immature. It is incomplete and perhaps distorted.

“Mature” means that a man’s sense of responsibility is in the process of growing out of its sinful distortions and limitations, and finding its true nature as a form of love, not a form of self-assertion." -pg 29

I recall some students in the high school group picking my brain on the infamous "woman submit" theme found in Ephesians 5:22-24, my response was twofold. One, a man not dare quote verses 22-24 without including 25-33, to do so is not only incomplete to the context of the text but it can lead one to wrongfully think scripture rubber stamps a dominating attitude, yet it immediately gives instruction to the husband on how to love his wife. I found it interesting that the instruction of submission, an action, for which men are more typically action-oriented was given to the wife. While love, an instruction of emotional-orientation, was given to the husband.

Christ perfected headship by his sacrifice, leadership, and love. This is to be the example that men are to follow that we might be mature men. I'm not saying to be mature Christian men, this is just to be a mature man. Because this is what it means to be a man, how much more should we look to the men in the Church fulfill this role in an exemplary manner?

Welcome to Afghanistan

This certainly is a deployment; the conditions are more rustic than what I experienced in Iraq. It has taken about three days to recover/adjust to the new time zone, which is minus 11.5 hours from PST. I don't know why this country has a 0.5 mark... it just does. Then again the best part about deployments thus far have not disappointed. The food is great, my base has a number of different cafeterias, and I am greatly enjoying the European style ones. When I was in Germany there was an orange-carrot type juice generically called throughout Europe "multivitamin" juice. It was wonderful and they have it here! I am being reminded to appreciate the little things each day. Getting a couple cups of juice helps offset variables like the tight living space, cold "navy showers”, and the connection speed that ebbs and flows; I think it coincides with the number of people awake and logging on, although yesterday it was especially slow.

In keeping with the "signs you are a contractor" I am working on a "deployment beard/goatee/facial hair growth experiment", I am about a week into it and I think it is slightly more than most men's five O' Clock shadow. This will be a slight source of entertainment for now. I'll post pictures in the event I actually grow enough to be detected by pictures. I managed to make it to the gym yesterday. Needless to say I am not looking forward to the pains of getting back into my lifting regiment. The mere discomfort of getting used to the burn and daily muscle soreness that I should be expecting for the next couple of months alone should be enough motivation that I had never stopped lifting. Then again life in CA was a bit busy often to the point to allot for more than six hours of sleep was a luxury. One of the main reasons I decided to come out here was to remember the simple lifestyle, and it is.

Among the other niceties I've been trying to appreciate were the flights here. Flying a real commercial flight to Kuwait was huge; I even got economy plus seating! This is compared to the lowest bidding "commercial" aircraft we fly as active duty in which we were packed in so tight sardines would complain. That is unless you volunteer to load the baggage and then you might get to pick your seats in the event the flight is not packed to capacity. So I got to Kuwait and after some minor headaches, to the hotel. Wow, would be a short description. If that hotel wasn't a five star, I cannot fathom what is. The beachfront view from the lobby, the multiple fountains and swimming pools in what I thought was a desert country, I was in awe. I think the icing on the cake was the fresh plate of fruit waiting for me in my room. Granted it wasn't exotic fruits like dates, pistachios and other more indigenous products but fresh fruit nonetheless. My experience in Kuwait was culminated with dinner at their in house seafood restaurant. The last several months I've been eating seafood at almost every opportunity, I continued that night. I was most impressed with their "salad bar" which amongst other things I dined on: hummus, smoked salmon, smoked mackerel, oyster salad, jumbo shrimp cocktail, and assorted veggies. I think a lot of American salad bars should take notes from this place.

On one of the legs of flight I happened to sit next to a brother in Christ from New York, I think his name was Mark. It was a great opportunity to encourage one another. An especially encouraging story about what God has been doing in this place. A man from India or Nepal, I can't remember exactly where but it was an unreached area, whom Mark helped get a job. By God's providence he was sent to a location which another brother, Robert, was located, it was there that he received the Gospel and became a Christ Follower. Sometime after that work location, he was transferred to the base where Mark was located. Upon seeing one another again, Mark started discipling the new believer. They have been going strong for a month now. The probability that they would see one another again, let alone be given the time and opportunity to disciple is the kind that can only be accomplished by God's plan.

I can't help but wonder what opportunities I might have. I will not have much if any contact with non-Americans. From what I have gathered thus far, no one on my team appear to be active Christ followers. I've been in this spiritual atmosphere before, that was two years in Germany, but I question how much I properly assessed this as a real possibility. So often I reminisce about the almost constant fellowship I enjoyed in Iraq, not fully considering what it would be like here. Only God knows and time will tell. I pray that this will be a beneficial time of learning both through my studies and the life lessons I learn.

Epilogue: This was the most difficult period of my life. There were several rotations of active duty and contractor team members, no one exhibited more than nominal faith at best. There was also one crew that was hostile to any kind of discussion that was in the least bit philosophical or existential. I should probably write about the reintegration after this, that was an important life chapter...

This is a Hard Teaching - 1 Timothy 2:9-14

Needless to say after returning home, my blogging has been greatly diminished. This is mostly due to being back in community and much of the thoughts that roll around have been able to be discussed. Then again, while basking in perhaps one of the most enjoyable Sundays I've had in many years, this thought hit me and I wanted to see if I can grapple with it.

1 Timothy 2:9-14 probably ranks up there at the top of many people's minds when it comes to difficult passages to understand and even more apply. I think Peter said it well in 2 Peter 3:14-16, with "there are some things hard to understand" being ever so clear. The response to this passage usually varies somewhere between justified chauvinism and ignoring the passage altogether. Perhaps the unique factor about this difficult passage isn't so much its clarity but just the opposite. Plainly read it has some serious guidelines that are difficult to apply and to justify; both to the non-Christians who view God's Word as a sexist book which seeks to subjugate women; and to those earnestly seeking to follow God's Word but are at a bit of a loss on this passage's application.

This commentary tends to focus on the cultural aspect and focus on the physical adornment and exclusion occurring in the church than this as an impendent issue. The problem with this is it doesn't address if the practice of flaunting wealth and style are still applicable things to avoid in orderly worship, worse still it often tends to resign this passage to being cultural and thus outdated and we can justifiably ignore it. The primary problem with this as with other difficult passages is the inevitable slippery slope we establish within Scripture while fully ignoring clear teachings to satisfy our own wills or misunderstanding. Or as Peter through the Holy Spirit says, "ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction." If we believe the Bible is God's Word and that God is perfect without error, then we must deduce the Bible is God's inerrant Word. This also happens to be a primary doctrine for you two other doctrine nerds who might read this.

On to the meat, within the context the most biting part I would think is verse 12, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet." While there is plenty of meat to deal with verse 11, for the sake of brevity (like I am good at that anyways...) I would rather refer to Ephesians 5:22-33 which it explicitly describes the relationship a husband and wife ought to have. A piece I have heard and fully agree with about the Ephesians passage, if a husband loves his wife as Christ loved the Church, why wouldn't she want to submit to him? Enough said.

I suppose the difficulty I have by attempting to tackle this passage is much in the practice (or lack of practice) of church discipline. The best way I could describe church discipline is the maintenance and accountability of our own. Paul speaks of this most clearly throughout 1 Corinthians (5:9-13, 6:1-8, 11:27-32). Peter also explains the concept in 1 Peter 2:13 - 3:22. In Church we ought to submit ourselves to one another, everyone ought to be submissive to someone; many of us are submissive to the pastor/elders, deacons, older men and women, and so on. There are checks in balances in the Church as well. We call him Jesus. Once we grasp the idea of submission to one another, the judgment we are to cast upon one another as a Shepherd protects his flock; in love, and the purity of Christ's Church the passage in Timothy doesn't irk as much.

It is important to remember one of the primary duties of pastors/elders in scripture is to practice authority (Shepherd in fluffier terms) over the members of the church. I might be isogeting my youth ministry experience on this, but when Paul restricts women from practicing authority over men is it really that outlandish? Consider this; within the family are mothers not the most appropriate to deal with certain issues of their daughters and likewise fathers with their sons? Likewise I directly consider this in light of my work with the high schoolers. If there is an issue with a girl, I would not attempt to address the issue at large. Women handle women's issues and men handle men's issues. I think many of us would find it odd if women sought to offer guidance on being a man when men are present to give such guidance. This is in no way saying mothers cannot teach their sons as some naysayers would attempt to imply. Children are to submit to their parents, and likewise parents are to practice authority over their children.

Whether you want to get into the issue if women can teach men, I think that is a less clear issue. The most profound example I would point to in scripture is the instruction Priscilla and Aquila gave to Apollos in Acts 18 Priscilla and Aquila are addressed 6 times in scripture. Of those 5 of those times Priscilla is addressed first, considering the writing style it is believed she had the stronger relationship with Paul in faith. In the personal setting, such as home church/bible study in which the couple instructed Apollos, it is reasonable to say Priscilla did more teaching, yet she did so without practicing authority over Apollos. I think it is also important to specify that Paul says a woman is not to have authority over a man, not boy, man. Leading up to a man, I would say it is more than permissible to practice authority on non-adult males. Then the can of beans opened "What is a man?" That is a separate blog unto itself. The short answer, a man is a male who takes responsibility for himself and those around him.

Does this expand to women in the pulpit? Yes, I think it does. I will make it clear though, based on what I have seen and read showing that women are more numerous in ministry, I believe this to be the result of males not being men. If males would be men, much of this controversy and frustration would disappear. The confusion and misunderstanding of what Paul wrote through the Holy Spirit will clear up and we can practice Church as it was meant to be done.