I had a fun morning today; we were destroying a big display board so we could throw it away. The best part was the conversations we had while we were working on the easy project. I found it profoundly interesting how different I really think from other people and how little faith they have in the power of faith.
It seems every time we get a chance to chat as a group of friends the subject of interest seems to always be relationships or something along those lines. I know I am naive about certain subjects and rather inexperienced in many areas of relationships but I think I am greatly underestimated in many factors of how my future will turn out. I also must say they believe far too much in human nature. According to them as soon as I am de-virginized, I will become some form of man which resembles the rest of the male population whose sole goal in life is to seek anything in a skirt. In addition, any temptation I have will eventually be given into. The most encouraging thing I heard was that the expected length of my "first" marriage was 2 years from one of my friends. I quoted "first" because I do not plan nor do I think it is a wise plan to think of marriages as first or any numerical count. The one semi-accurate thing I think is fair at the very least to consider is that I will be heart broken if/when my first relationship fails.
Oh yea, this weekend I went to a R&R resort hosted by the chaplains. We had a lesson time on Friday (it was thurs-sat), for the single soldiers we watch a few sermons out of Song of Solomon. It was a rather exhaustive approach going through each verse at a time, thus in the three hours we got to the middle of chapter two. So far I must say I that it wasn't that hot'n heavy as I have heard, then again that was just the choosing and courting parts of the book. The one bit that I really agreed with was how to find a Christian mate. The pastor in the videos said “we simply run whole heartedly for Christ and look to our right and left to see who is running next to us, at some point see if they want to run with you”. Many of the other details in the sermons mentioned stuff I have heard and or applied appropriately already, I think.
This was one of those conversations I found both entertaining and sad at the same time. It was quiet funny how they think that everyone has to through life in an aimless search to find what their looking for. Sad because I know exactly what they were searching for at points in their lives and they didn't look in the right place. I have a delicate time with deep conversations like this cause one of my friends is really sensitive to anything almost alluding to a spiritual discussion. I hope in my efforts to love and not shove the Gospel down her throat that I have not been too subtle about it. I think I valued or gave slightly more credit to this conversation for a couple reasons, first they are some of my closest non-Christian friends here, second they are all married, and third it had a certain tone of seriousness that I found rather eerie from some of the stuff they were saying.
A part of me still feels like I am not doing so good at shining bright that others will praise God (1 Peter 2:12, Matthew 5:16). That verse has been such a source of influence in the way I constantly attempt to conduct myself but yet those that verbally notice so often refer to me as being a "good" guy. It irks me so much because being seen as "good" is the exact opposite in my purpose. I know it is up to the individual to see the good works and praise our Father in Heaven, but I can't help but think that they have seen so few earnest Christians that they don't recognize that it is God in me that is so good. There is so much that I have seen that is frustrating, so many people going about their lives in search of what I have found. Yet, since I have not lived through their life I cannot know the solution to their issues.
I have been reading perhaps the best apologetic book yet, called I Don't Have Enough Faith to be An Atheist. I am almost completed reading it, somewhere one of the common themes in the apologetics I have been reading is the true answer to why most people deny God's existence. They do not wish to admit nor submit their life to God, simple as that. I have found a new conundrum, as most apologetics are addressed to atheists; what about those that calls themselves Christians. I think the world is far more populated with people that think they are Christians but live without him as an active part of their life. Not to say they are all immoral heathens that live in terrible debauchery, but take their faith to a point similar to Agnostics. The whole "big guy way up there that doesn't really care" ideology seems to me to be far more common than declared atheists. Then when they see the difference that God makes in our lives it doesn't click that our faith is what makes so much difference.
Then again what apologetics are there to logically show more about God than what is revealed through the persuasive arguments and debates? I don't think that form of ministry is a practical use of apologetics. I think conveying the personality and the express uniqueness of our God is something that only we can accomplish both by words but more by lifestyle. I am reminded of the intro to What if Stumble every time I think about that. The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and deny him by their lifestyle. Then to add a bit more, because there are so few Christians that acknowledge Jesus in our lifestyle it is alien to those that see it.
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