One of the first things I noticed that I neglected to mention in Dating or Lack Thereof was the importance of self identity. I think this period in our lives begins in Jr High for most and is well on its way through high school and is finalized in the college age years. Of course this does vary with maturity and the individual's experiences. This factor I think is the primary reason why the teenage years are deemed to be so chaotic by parents, sociologists and the like. I know we can all think of some people who are past college age and still have no idea of who they really are. If the stage of self development is overlooked or not completed I think one of two routes will happen. Either the person will continue to act as they were wherever they “developmentally left off”, never fully developing into a mature adult in that respect, or they will be influenced by others into someone they might not have become had they defined themselves earlier. Actually let’s add one more possibility in the mix, upon a major life changing event, such as becoming a parent; some people start to figure things out at that point.
Many people start getting into relationships too soon in their personal development and are often directed in ways they did not intend or plan. I spent my teen years watching people live and get-together, I used those experiences of friends and classmates to build a “study” of high school relationships. I recall asking many friends “what their goals were in the ____ relationship?”. The majority of people had no idea what I was talking about, which I found rather interesting.
In my over-analyzed life, I attempt to always have a reason why I do something. It is not necessarily always the best, most productive reason, but I will have a reason nonetheless, to quote Agent Smith ”there must be a reason, a purpose.” For those who do have an answer as to why they were in such relationship it would usually be one or more of the following: “to have fun”, “to discover myself”, “to find out what kind of person I want”, or “to get X (X being some physical gratification)”. I don't think I need to dive into why it is a bad idea to have a relationship simply for fun; emotions are great when it is great but are really bad when it is bad. It is not wise to play with emotions. When physical gratification is the primary goal one or both parties are in it for their selfish desires. Their attitudes will reflect their desires and eventually lead to using and/or demeaning each other.
I find the most mentally perplexing reason for the relationship is “to discover myself”. I don't think self discovery is a group activity. Whenever I hear a person talking about “finding themselves” I wonder “when did you lose yourself?” I think what they mean is they are trying to define themselves. When someone in a vulnerable position, such as a dating relationship, is undefined; an inherent burden is put the other person to assist in their definition. This is a highly disadvantageous situation if the burdened person is not acting for the benefit of the other. If both individuals are trying to “find themselves” you have two lost people looking for someone they don't know.
I find the motivation “to figure out what kind of person I want” as a valid reason to date nonsensical. It is an attempt to give them license to not discern who they give their emotions to. I know exactly what kind of woman I am looking for, how do I know? I know who I am. I know what I want to be. I would only make sense to select the kind of person who will encourage my lifestyle and direction. I am looking for someone whose life will be complimentary to mine. Opposites might attract but attraction does not build families.
The foremost advantage from my years of singleness, I have been able to develop and define myself for who I want to be. I know in thought and my dreams, I imagine the first person I date I'll marry. I am not entirely opposed to that happening but I should not expect it to happen. To do so would be the definition of un-necessary stress on a relationship. I also take into account the advice from those who have experience with the other half, many of whom proclaim “I have much to learn about relationships”. I must agree with them.
I recently finished a relationship book. I find it funny that I am reading books about Christian courtship and relationships especially when I know I won't be acting on the things I learn from it for at least another 2 years. It is a topic that has been circulating my head more in the recent months, and it is a nice break from a deeply philosophic or scientific reads which are more typical. As the title suggests it follows the relationship of Isaac and Rebecca in Genesis. Although they went through the courting style of getting together the book was formatted to suit dating more than actual courtship in my opinion. I have a better idea as far as mental knowledge goes as to what sacrifice and love is. Actually my idea of love much more clear than it has previously been. Love is so much more about a commitment and conscious decision than a feeling many people have made it out to be. I was also chuckling upon the conclusion of the latest book, I can spend months on a deep read but the average time for a book on relationships is less than 24 hours.
Oct 9, 2006
Oct 6, 2006
Can Christians Believe in Evolution?
As I was joyfully approaching the end of my current read when I got to thinking again. Something I noted in the midst of the 14 essays contained in the book was virtually all of the contributors never pronounced any stance on what they believed. They only stated they did not believe in evolution in its current state or under the present evidences of support. Myself being clearly defined as a young Earth creationist found that somewhat disconcerting. I find it necessary to explain some terms so we are speaking and reading the same language.
First, by reference to evolution, this pertains to macro-evolution and the guidance by survival of the fittest. I in no way attempt to argue against bacteria adapting and "evolving" as some phrase it, to antibiotics, or that the peppered moths did not change in quantity in relation to the air quality during the observations of the peppered moths in the UK. Second, what on earth is a young earth creationist? Within the camps of creationist, those that believe the Genesis account of creation, there are young Earth and old Earth. The young Earth creationists believe the Earth and the universe is somewhere between 6,000-10,000 years old, while old Earth creationists hold to the billions of years suggested by evolutionary theory. As I go along any other choice vocabulary I happen to describe I'll be sure to define.
As I mentioned in the opening paragraph, the majority of the contributors did not explain what they believed. The editor and contributor of the book, Willaim Dembski, mentioned he was a creationist but I am unsure if he is in the young earth or old earth camp. I know I have written several other blogs about the topic as a whole and you may start to notice as I have learned from the number of books I have read so far on the topic, it is a vast topic. Something I have definitely noticed there are not many books about young earth creationism by very many people with decent credentials showing that they have a functioning brain. I would say Answers in Genesis is one of the main forces for the young earth theory.
Why this is I think is very understandable. In the scientific community there are very few (by proportion) people that have actively stated that they have disagreements with evolutionary theory. In fact, it is even mentioned in Darwin's Black Box if you are a beginning scientist whom wishes to have a career to be silent about your reservations/disagreements. To publicly state that you may have disagreements about the evolutionary theory is in the same breath to kill one's scientific career. Every intellectual I have read so far started believing the theory and after time, tenure and critical thinking they changed their beliefs. In addition to having a red letter on their white collar to much of the community discredits their further science. So unless someone plans on working for a creation science organization to pursue a career in science it is any wonder that there are so few scientists who actively pursue young earth science. A further difficulty in having a greater number of young earth scientists is the limitation of opportunities. By the nature of young earth science, it is related to the Genesis account (they would be Christians) whereas the intelligent design theory while many of the proponents are Christians the actual theory only pertains to an intelligence, be it God, aliens, or some other form of intelligence.
I asked it in the title and it was not a rhetorical question, “Can Christians believe in evolution?” The simple short answer, I do not believe so. Then again you knew I would never answer something so simply. In order to fully answer that question it begs the prior question of what one believes the Bible is? If it is the literal Word of God (take into account that the books of prophecy and poetic books like Psalms, Song of Solomon, and Proverbs use metaphors) or if it is merely a book of stories and legends. Anyone who has looked can easily find the historical proof Jesus of Nazareth existed, be it the direct ancient manuscripts which composes the Bible, the writings of the ancient Jewish historian Tacitus, Jesus’ existence has been confirmed beyond reasonable doubt. What about the history of the Old Testament? Namely Genesis since that seems to be the key book in this topic.
I think we can biblically figure out if those that wrote the bible believed in the Genesis account of creation. Through a simple search on Biblegateway there are 24 results, allow me to dive into some of them:
In Matthew 13:34-36 Jesus refers to creation in such a way as a specific time. This is also confirmed in Matthew 25:33-35, Mark 10:5-7, and John 17:23-25 just to start. One of my favorite passages, Romans 1:19-21 Paul refers to Creation as the starting point people knew about God and chose to exchange God for something else. Paul mentions creation several other times in Romans, in those terms it was in reference to all the created things. In 2 Corinthians 5:16-18, we are described as new creations when we are in Christ, the logical implication is that before we were in Christ we were old creations. I think that is worth mentioning that we are described as created things, one would reasonably think that to be referred to as something that was created that the event of Creation was believed as such. Galatians 6 also mentions that we are new creations.
Creation is mentioned as an actual event multiple times in Hebrews, 1 & 2 Peter, and Revelations. Does it make sense that if the authors of scripture believed creation happened, it did? If that is true then I think it would make sense for us also to approach our origins in a similar way.
The other major point about creation being necessary to Christianity is one's belief of original sin. Did sin and death enter the world the moment the fruit from Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was eaten? Be it those that say Christianity is compatible with evolution claiming that it was guided by God or those that take Psalm 90:4 out of context to claim creation was not 7 literal days, day being 24 hours not thousands of years. If sin did not usher death into this world first, alternative theories are saying that at the point in the world when God pronounced the world and all creation to be very good death was present. It also contradicts Romans 5:12-21, Romans 6:15-17. As those passages clearly state, sin is the prerequisite of death. That doesn't mention there for those that want to believe the Day-Age Theory (a day is like a thousand years) there are certain issues of science to answer, such as how did plants survive without the sun. After all plants were created on day 3 while the sun and moon (light to govern the day and light to govern the night) were created on day 4.
So what is the gist of all this? A person can call themselves a Christian and believe whatever they want. However, to be a Christian, is to believe the Bible as the Word of God. I do not think a Christian can believe evolutionary theory as it is in its current form, ie without acknowledgement of God. Those who claim the two beliefs can be compatible negate to mention in order for their faith and idea of science to be compatible, either the Christian doctrine or the evolutionary doctrine must compromise.
First, by reference to evolution, this pertains to macro-evolution and the guidance by survival of the fittest. I in no way attempt to argue against bacteria adapting and "evolving" as some phrase it, to antibiotics, or that the peppered moths did not change in quantity in relation to the air quality during the observations of the peppered moths in the UK. Second, what on earth is a young earth creationist? Within the camps of creationist, those that believe the Genesis account of creation, there are young Earth and old Earth. The young Earth creationists believe the Earth and the universe is somewhere between 6,000-10,000 years old, while old Earth creationists hold to the billions of years suggested by evolutionary theory. As I go along any other choice vocabulary I happen to describe I'll be sure to define.
As I mentioned in the opening paragraph, the majority of the contributors did not explain what they believed. The editor and contributor of the book, Willaim Dembski, mentioned he was a creationist but I am unsure if he is in the young earth or old earth camp. I know I have written several other blogs about the topic as a whole and you may start to notice as I have learned from the number of books I have read so far on the topic, it is a vast topic. Something I have definitely noticed there are not many books about young earth creationism by very many people with decent credentials showing that they have a functioning brain. I would say Answers in Genesis is one of the main forces for the young earth theory.
Why this is I think is very understandable. In the scientific community there are very few (by proportion) people that have actively stated that they have disagreements with evolutionary theory. In fact, it is even mentioned in Darwin's Black Box if you are a beginning scientist whom wishes to have a career to be silent about your reservations/disagreements. To publicly state that you may have disagreements about the evolutionary theory is in the same breath to kill one's scientific career. Every intellectual I have read so far started believing the theory and after time, tenure and critical thinking they changed their beliefs. In addition to having a red letter on their white collar to much of the community discredits their further science. So unless someone plans on working for a creation science organization to pursue a career in science it is any wonder that there are so few scientists who actively pursue young earth science. A further difficulty in having a greater number of young earth scientists is the limitation of opportunities. By the nature of young earth science, it is related to the Genesis account (they would be Christians) whereas the intelligent design theory while many of the proponents are Christians the actual theory only pertains to an intelligence, be it God, aliens, or some other form of intelligence.
I asked it in the title and it was not a rhetorical question, “Can Christians believe in evolution?” The simple short answer, I do not believe so. Then again you knew I would never answer something so simply. In order to fully answer that question it begs the prior question of what one believes the Bible is? If it is the literal Word of God (take into account that the books of prophecy and poetic books like Psalms, Song of Solomon, and Proverbs use metaphors) or if it is merely a book of stories and legends. Anyone who has looked can easily find the historical proof Jesus of Nazareth existed, be it the direct ancient manuscripts which composes the Bible, the writings of the ancient Jewish historian Tacitus, Jesus’ existence has been confirmed beyond reasonable doubt. What about the history of the Old Testament? Namely Genesis since that seems to be the key book in this topic.
I think we can biblically figure out if those that wrote the bible believed in the Genesis account of creation. Through a simple search on Biblegateway there are 24 results, allow me to dive into some of them:
In Matthew 13:34-36 Jesus refers to creation in such a way as a specific time. This is also confirmed in Matthew 25:33-35, Mark 10:5-7, and John 17:23-25 just to start. One of my favorite passages, Romans 1:19-21 Paul refers to Creation as the starting point people knew about God and chose to exchange God for something else. Paul mentions creation several other times in Romans, in those terms it was in reference to all the created things. In 2 Corinthians 5:16-18, we are described as new creations when we are in Christ, the logical implication is that before we were in Christ we were old creations. I think that is worth mentioning that we are described as created things, one would reasonably think that to be referred to as something that was created that the event of Creation was believed as such. Galatians 6 also mentions that we are new creations.
Creation is mentioned as an actual event multiple times in Hebrews, 1 & 2 Peter, and Revelations. Does it make sense that if the authors of scripture believed creation happened, it did? If that is true then I think it would make sense for us also to approach our origins in a similar way.
The other major point about creation being necessary to Christianity is one's belief of original sin. Did sin and death enter the world the moment the fruit from Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was eaten? Be it those that say Christianity is compatible with evolution claiming that it was guided by God or those that take Psalm 90:4 out of context to claim creation was not 7 literal days, day being 24 hours not thousands of years. If sin did not usher death into this world first, alternative theories are saying that at the point in the world when God pronounced the world and all creation to be very good death was present. It also contradicts Romans 5:12-21, Romans 6:15-17. As those passages clearly state, sin is the prerequisite of death. That doesn't mention there for those that want to believe the Day-Age Theory (a day is like a thousand years) there are certain issues of science to answer, such as how did plants survive without the sun. After all plants were created on day 3 while the sun and moon (light to govern the day and light to govern the night) were created on day 4.
So what is the gist of all this? A person can call themselves a Christian and believe whatever they want. However, to be a Christian, is to believe the Bible as the Word of God. I do not think a Christian can believe evolutionary theory as it is in its current form, ie without acknowledgement of God. Those who claim the two beliefs can be compatible negate to mention in order for their faith and idea of science to be compatible, either the Christian doctrine or the evolutionary doctrine must compromise.
Oct 2, 2006
My Place In This Place
So last night as I was listening to Lifesong to go to sleep to I was pondering/reflecting what I have done I have been in the Army. I was thinking in more consideration of how I have been living than what the work has had to offer. One of the thoughts which came to me I found rather soothing and satisfying.
I remember in the weeks leading up to me signing the papers I was talking to several important people in my life concerning my worries and reservations about the decision that was to follow. I think I got a deeper understanding of how God's will works and presents itself. One of those dreading questions over my head “was it more my will to join than any pulling of the Holy Spirit for me to join?” From that point I was satisfied God will use me anywhere I let him use me. Last night I think I had an epiphany of purpose.
While in my previous duty station, I was rather disenchanted things didn't work out to help out with the youth ministry there. I don't think I set for myself how I was to evangelize to my peers. The first several months I was getting used to the atmosphere of alcoholism, partying, and the sort. I think I was primarily concerned with keeping my own faith strong. This was when I started ordering the books and studying more than I had ever done so in my civilian life. I think around Christmas time one of the guys in the barracks asked me to do a bible study with him. I was quiet excited.
After several months of spotty meetings we generally stopped meeting, he was always tired or sleeping and as life went on and people talked I could clearly see no change in his lifestyle. I don't think I was expecting much but when I see the growth and understanding in the Word and then to see him at the barbeque the following weekends, he spoke through his actions how much he really wanted to change. I didn't want to become his little confessional booth he could do as he pleased and then have a little Bible study and be good until the next time we met. The entire experience was a learning one to say in the least.
When our studies ended I didn't really make a pursuit to get something else started as the rest of the unit was preparing to move to Kansas. This was also after a failed attempt to have a lunch time Bible study typically consisting of myself and the two chaplains. In my mind I think since I wasn't actively pursuing a time involving activity I wasn't really doing anything productive for God. As a whole I was unaware of my spiritual usefulness.
This brings me to last night. While pondering my accomplishments of non-work nature it popped into my head how many people I have been talking to all along who either seek me as a guy for advice, being the voice of reason, or spiritual council. It just hit me, I can think of at least 5 or 6 deep discussions with people in the field alone, not to mention who I have talked to online. Although I was not aware of how loud my lifestyle spoke as I reflected it has been more than worth it. So many of the "lifestyle" sacrifices I have made to actively live differently have served their purpose here. I thought these experiences would only be of use when I am youth pastor or something as an example how to stand up against peer pressure and the party lifestyle.
I find blogs of this nature to be awkward at times, I don't write this to get on a pedestal and proclaim a victory as super Christian. I am often reminded of a song my Dad jokingly liked to sing to himself, "It's hard to be humble". We are called to be humble in what we do. Not always an easy thing but something I noticed from one of the spur of the moment conversations about my life, I don't approach life wanting to prove something. The audience found what I was telling them unbelievable, but believed it because of my demeanor. From that conversation with several guys I had an even more in depth time to share my life and beliefs with one of the guys as we washed dishes for several hours.
Aside from the people who were curious why I live so differently, I have been useful to many people who have fallen away from their faith since being in the Army. I am also pondering writing a blog about how much of a ministry opportunity I have found the Army to be, but I was going to be sure to include the dangers as well. I know far more people that came into the Army with a meaningful faith than are in the Army and live a faithful life. When I pondered it more I don't think I realize that I am an encouragement to those around me. Or at least I never really thought of it that way. I have been much concerned with keeping up with my known spiritual gifts and trying to develop my leadership skills that I think I overlooked something that God has been polishing for some time now.
Do I have this awkward feeling of awareness about what I am doing constantly, no not really. I think I am looking through my glasses with a better prescription on life now.
I remember in the weeks leading up to me signing the papers I was talking to several important people in my life concerning my worries and reservations about the decision that was to follow. I think I got a deeper understanding of how God's will works and presents itself. One of those dreading questions over my head “was it more my will to join than any pulling of the Holy Spirit for me to join?” From that point I was satisfied God will use me anywhere I let him use me. Last night I think I had an epiphany of purpose.
While in my previous duty station, I was rather disenchanted things didn't work out to help out with the youth ministry there. I don't think I set for myself how I was to evangelize to my peers. The first several months I was getting used to the atmosphere of alcoholism, partying, and the sort. I think I was primarily concerned with keeping my own faith strong. This was when I started ordering the books and studying more than I had ever done so in my civilian life. I think around Christmas time one of the guys in the barracks asked me to do a bible study with him. I was quiet excited.
After several months of spotty meetings we generally stopped meeting, he was always tired or sleeping and as life went on and people talked I could clearly see no change in his lifestyle. I don't think I was expecting much but when I see the growth and understanding in the Word and then to see him at the barbeque the following weekends, he spoke through his actions how much he really wanted to change. I didn't want to become his little confessional booth he could do as he pleased and then have a little Bible study and be good until the next time we met. The entire experience was a learning one to say in the least.
When our studies ended I didn't really make a pursuit to get something else started as the rest of the unit was preparing to move to Kansas. This was also after a failed attempt to have a lunch time Bible study typically consisting of myself and the two chaplains. In my mind I think since I wasn't actively pursuing a time involving activity I wasn't really doing anything productive for God. As a whole I was unaware of my spiritual usefulness.
This brings me to last night. While pondering my accomplishments of non-work nature it popped into my head how many people I have been talking to all along who either seek me as a guy for advice, being the voice of reason, or spiritual council. It just hit me, I can think of at least 5 or 6 deep discussions with people in the field alone, not to mention who I have talked to online. Although I was not aware of how loud my lifestyle spoke as I reflected it has been more than worth it. So many of the "lifestyle" sacrifices I have made to actively live differently have served their purpose here. I thought these experiences would only be of use when I am youth pastor or something as an example how to stand up against peer pressure and the party lifestyle.
I find blogs of this nature to be awkward at times, I don't write this to get on a pedestal and proclaim a victory as super Christian. I am often reminded of a song my Dad jokingly liked to sing to himself, "It's hard to be humble". We are called to be humble in what we do. Not always an easy thing but something I noticed from one of the spur of the moment conversations about my life, I don't approach life wanting to prove something. The audience found what I was telling them unbelievable, but believed it because of my demeanor. From that conversation with several guys I had an even more in depth time to share my life and beliefs with one of the guys as we washed dishes for several hours.
Aside from the people who were curious why I live so differently, I have been useful to many people who have fallen away from their faith since being in the Army. I am also pondering writing a blog about how much of a ministry opportunity I have found the Army to be, but I was going to be sure to include the dangers as well. I know far more people that came into the Army with a meaningful faith than are in the Army and live a faithful life. When I pondered it more I don't think I realize that I am an encouragement to those around me. Or at least I never really thought of it that way. I have been much concerned with keeping up with my known spiritual gifts and trying to develop my leadership skills that I think I overlooked something that God has been polishing for some time now.
Do I have this awkward feeling of awareness about what I am doing constantly, no not really. I think I am looking through my glasses with a better prescription on life now.
Sep 25, 2006
Things Change, People Change
In the last week I have had a decent amount of myspace time, probably too much. I don't try to be a "friend whore." It is impractical to remain current if there are too many people on one’s friend list. That brings me to the purpose of this blog though. Through the duration of this last week I have been able to look through almost all if not all of my myspace friends pages.
Being away from everyone at home has taught me to deal with two really difficult aspects of life. First of all, the small church community and the daily challenges of faith that I have to live for Christ. I wouldn't say I am used to it, but familiar for now. Yesterday while on Kitchen Patrol, I was chatting with some of the guys, somewhere in the mix we got to a "have you ever" about my personal life and several of the guys were astonished about my experience and how I approach life. I wouldn't be as ambitious to say seeds were planted but they know that I am very different from those who surround me.
The other very difficult thing about being away that I am far from getting used to is the fact that when I left, life still went on. I got a taste of that last time I was home when I couldn't recognize half the students at church. I miss so many people back home and the best way I have been able to keep track of them is through myspace. So what happens when I finally get a chance to check on the people that I haven't had the urgency to check on them sooner? Well, their profiles and blogs speak for themselves.
It has been 4 years since high school, college for several of my peers is done or the light at the end of the tunnel is in clear view. The crazier part, the freshmen I knew are now freshmen in college, woah. People move away from home, explore the world and all the usual stuff. This is where I get the heavy heart. There are many people I knew at home from church who were the bright and passionate students living for Christ. Now, by the looks of their myspace page or at least how they wish to display themselves to the world, there does not appear to be any sign of Christ.
There is a part of me that thinks it is ridiculous to try and see where someone is and how they are really doing by looking at a webpage, but correct me if I am wrong but we do put what we want others to see on our pages. Something I tend to take more than words are actions and the expressions of those that are around us. I am a strong believer that our behavior defines what we really believe. Sometimes even those who are around us, know who we really are better than ourselves. I am reminded of statistics I have heard over and over again. The majority of students raised and active at church in high school leave it when they leave home. It hurts to know where people were and to see for what they exchanged their lives.
I can not t help but ask myself what can be done? I know there are the regular Christian answers, I can pray for them. I don't want to discount the powers of intercessory prayers, perhaps it is my lack of faith that a prayer will be efficacious in such a way that might turn them back. I think that the power of their free will is stronger. Being that I have not had regular contact or the kind of faithful relationship with people I don't think it would be appropriate to attempt to rebuke a Brother. Where does that leave me? I think I will continue to pray despite my personal reservations of its effectiveness.
Something else I think about when I see people's' fire turn to a glimmer, I can't help but wonder what kind of discipleship they received. For those that are just getting to college, people that I interacted with when I was on staff. People I should've been discipling, what does that mean in terms of my own faithfulness or effectiveness in the ministry so far. Am I not somewhat responsible for the people I led? It is not up to me where someone goes or how they choose to lead their lives but sometimes I wish it was, then I am reminded of my own free will and how precious a gift it truly is.
One of the several authors I have taken to reading in my search to read as much as possible before I get to Seminary is Prof. Theophilus. His real names is Budziszewki, he writes some mind boggling books and some easily comprehensible columns on the link. On of the first books that caught my attention was How To Stay a Christian in College, it is on my to read list, actually I am gonna order it as soon as I post this. If this was an actual essay I might be regretful of such an anti-climatic commercial of a conclusion, but that is why I like blogs.
Sep 19, 2006
Worldview Matters
While
reading my current book I came across a truly eye-opening essay that I think
points out why it is so important for Christians to be familiar with the origin
of life. For those of you willing to spend an hour or so to listen to the
presentation just follow the link.
I found this piece rather unique because it is not the average "this is
the evidence of intelligent design" or "this is what evolutionary
theory has assumed without proof", instead it is merely an extrapolation
of where our society is going and why IF Darwinism is true as it is so often
assumed to be.
I
was struck like I saw the light upon reading this because at once so many
pieces came together. I have seen a few pieces here and there starting with CS
Lewis and on the other side of the spectrum Dr Dino referring to how either
Darwinism leads to death and social chaos but not such a concise presentation.
Have
no fear this blog is not simply limited to an advertisement of why I really
think you should listen to this lecture. I have long believed the pinnacle
issue in reaching people in our post-modernist society is to point to them that
there is a Truth. That has been the curve ball that I think many Christians are
not adequately trained how to deal with. In fact, while on a long bus ride this
last weekend I happen to get in an awesome conversation that covered Truth,
Free Will and what it means to be a Christ Follower. I believe it was in my
sophomore or junior year that I was first made aware of post modernism and how
it makes the Gospel void in many minds.
When
discussing issues of faith with other Christians one of the basics that I think
has the greatest repercussions in one's total theology is how they interpret
free will, I think Romans
1 covers that topic quiet well. The quick summary is do people
individually choose God or are the predestined as mentioned in scripture the
only people that will accept Christ. The nutshell of how it affects us has to
do with our evangelistic habits. If we believe that it is a person's individual
free choice to accept God then we must reach them were they are and bring
Christ to them. If we believe that a person will turn to God as one of the
"chosen" then we might not be prompted to bring the Gospel.
So
are we free creatures who must own up to our own actions and responsibilities
of our life or not? This is where the issue of Darwinism or Humanism directly connects
to every facet of our life IF it happens to be true. For those that have been
taught since the start public education that we are nothing but chemicals that
have come together without purpose and by random chance the value of our lives
shouldn't be much more that the vitamin content that we are composed of. In
addition, if we are merely chemicals and genetics reacting from prior causes
and prior chemical reaction than is it really right to be held accountable for
any action or behavior? After all we would simply be the vessel from which the
chemicals cause. Issues of society like law, crime, economy, competition, love,
and any other aspect will be under the control of the natural forces will
suddenly be nonpunishable, moreover the structure of society will be based upon
such principles of absolute meaninglessness.
As
society is moving along (in which direction I think it is clear) the states of
our "Enlightenment" as many intellectuals like to marvel about bases
that Christians must prove grows. It is common when I start a discussion about
right and wrong that we lead directly into is there truth and what is truth? It
does not take much longer to reach the issue of our origin, why would there be
truth if there is no truth giver? To prove the existence of personal
responsibility we must move people beyond humanism's cause and effect. The
philosophical smoke screen blinds so many without them seeing it, and it blinds
them that much further from the Christian worldview which I think is a
perquisite to one understanding who God is that we might want to live for him.
This
is so important for us to be aware and willing to take action against because
it is so closely related to the worldview people have. The behavior of society,
I believe, is a direct reflection of their worldview. Those who believe the
greatest joy in life is to experience pleasure as much as they possibly can,
will act accordingly. Those who believe their purpose is to make the world a
better place will also act accordingly. Those that believe our purpose in life
is to increase God's kingdom will spend their life doing so. In order to get
there though because without a life of purpose why would anyone live out a life
for anything?
Epilogue: It is always fun to read blogs which I proclaimed a theology I no longer hold. As the years have past, my knowledge grown, I embrace much of what Reformed Theology states.
Sep 12, 2006
What Won't We Forget?
As cliché as it may be at this point to write a blog concerning the events which conspired 5 years ago, I think this one might be a bit different. As just about every public figure pronounced on our day of infamy, the world is a different place. From my position, keeping current with the news and currents events there are a few areas that I would have to disagree. Were we rocked when it happened? Yes. Did we as Americans really change from that terrible day? The primary premise of this is "no", we haven't.
Just surfing the AFN (Armed Forces Network) schedule of shows last night I noticed about 3 or 4 documentaries about what happened. In the recent months there have been 2 major movies about 9/11 or something related. So what can we gather with that? Well, I see it being either of two ways, for one it could show that Americans will capitalize on anything. The timeline as to wait before the movies were made was roughly 5 years, is that our new aura of sacredness when we can start profiting from it now? Or are these pictures and shows meant as a memorial? Are they there to retell the story so that we will not forget? Only the creators know their true motives, I can only speculate.
I wonder if this time of year will become a true time of reflection and memorial, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next few years it becomes a federal holiday. I am reminded of stories from some of the older generations about how they approached days of reverence. They were talking about what it was like during Memorial Day years following WWII and the Korean War. It was a sobering atmosphere; people actively remembered what had taken place and knew someone who had been in the wars. Today, Memorial Day is just another day off. Well, not completely I know it is a big shopping day with all the Memorial Day Specials and whatnot, such a great way to remember and honor those who paid for freedom with blood.
My biggest question I ask, probably more rhetorically than it being an actual question, what won't we forget? Do we resound and proclaim that we won't forget 9/11 happened? Or is it that we are a changed nation? Or is it that there is a large vacant lot in the heart of the financial district that can no longer make a lot of money? I throw these out there because as a whole I would have to disagree "the world is a different place". Although I truly believe it is different and the majority of Americans also say that it is different, the way people have resumed their lives does not show it. I suppose I mean to say do we truly believe the world is a different place?
Let's knock out the obvious first of all. Those of us that are in the military, of course it has changed, we all have or are waiting to get deployed sometime in the near future. Then next most impacted group in this changed world are the airport security and Homeland Defense, I suppose that can count as a major change. Is that all there really is though? Granted, there are regular sections in the news about the war on terror to deliver the daily body count, politicians claim and say this or that, but I think there is a fair number who don't truly believe the world has changed. I don't intend on making this a rally 'round the flag blog to say support our troops. I think this is about "what happened to public responsibility"?
I can recall from my civilian days both pre and post 9/11, the average American did not find national security, public safety, or the enforcement of the law any of their own business. This is directed to those not working as some kind of public service. Somewhere in our history, the public disconnected themselves with safety issues concerning the nation. There are three major points in our history that might have directly impacted such an attitude change. One, the federalization of the public militia. In 1903, all public militias were reclassified as the Army National Guard. The entire purpose of the militia according to the Constitution is that in the event the current government gets unruly and strays too far from what it should be, the militia would be there to get the country back on track. However, ever since the militia has been an arm of the government it has been disabled from its original purpose.
The second point would be the social revolutions in the 1960's. During the 60's: prayer left public schools, evolution entered more furiously than ever; birth control became widely available giving rise to "free love", which directly related to removing peoples' personal responsibility in the art of baby making and previous care people had for their bodies; the revolt against authority could be correlated with the lying the government did and got caught doing, people no longer trusted the organization meant to serve the people. Instead of becoming a driving force of political reform for the better, they gave up on the due process and politicians altogether. The shift of the social attitude that put the youth against the older generation, expressed in the mantra "Don't trust anyone over 30" (except the pot smoking college professors), put the great divide between the generation that was finding itself against the generation who fought the world's largest war and built the country to be the world power. When the generation finally did find themselves they wanted little to do with anything that did not directly affect them. I do believe the social revolution was the greatest contributing factor to the complete selfishness found in personal attitudes. I am not claiming people were not selfish previously, but at that time period it became socially acceptable and then expected to watch out for numero uno.
The final point I believe to contribute to the overall apathy over public security was the volunteer military. Don't get me wrong I think it is a great thing to never have to wonder if a draft would be my next trip for several years in an unknown land. Those whom were deemed acceptable for military service could then be picky and thus have a more efficient fighting force. The moral would not be that of continuous resentment because each individual chose to join. As a whole it did benefit the military and the public view of the military. On the other side though, no longer having concern over being drafted leads to one having no need to be concerned with threats to the country. Why would someone whom previously might have held interest in what the military was doing because at any time he might be a part of it care to stay interested in something that will not impact him? "Because it does not impact me, I do not care" is probably the origin of the public apathy for security. I think the following generation graduated to "Because I do not care, it is none of my business". Those attitudes bring us to today. When was the last time anyone has seen a news article about a citizen's arrest? A regular person preventing a crime? A bystander rescuing people from a burning building? People generally do not get involved in anything that is not their direct concern.
It is impossible for only people on a payroll to successfully manage all the dangers to the public. The situation of public and national security is sad. In 2006, there were 2,455,837 military. At the same time there was an estimated 298,593,212 Americans. Less than 1% of the population is attempting to secure national safety. Does that mean in the event the US is attacked on our own soil only 1 out of every 100 people will defend it? I sincerely hope not.
The summation of all this, people forgot before they could even started to remember. The new threat to our personal security in 9/11 did not change the world to the general public. If this nation would ever truly "Never Forget" then first we need to remember: everyone who lives within our borders are partially responsible to secure the part of the country they reside.
Just surfing the AFN (Armed Forces Network) schedule of shows last night I noticed about 3 or 4 documentaries about what happened. In the recent months there have been 2 major movies about 9/11 or something related. So what can we gather with that? Well, I see it being either of two ways, for one it could show that Americans will capitalize on anything. The timeline as to wait before the movies were made was roughly 5 years, is that our new aura of sacredness when we can start profiting from it now? Or are these pictures and shows meant as a memorial? Are they there to retell the story so that we will not forget? Only the creators know their true motives, I can only speculate.
I wonder if this time of year will become a true time of reflection and memorial, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next few years it becomes a federal holiday. I am reminded of stories from some of the older generations about how they approached days of reverence. They were talking about what it was like during Memorial Day years following WWII and the Korean War. It was a sobering atmosphere; people actively remembered what had taken place and knew someone who had been in the wars. Today, Memorial Day is just another day off. Well, not completely I know it is a big shopping day with all the Memorial Day Specials and whatnot, such a great way to remember and honor those who paid for freedom with blood.
My biggest question I ask, probably more rhetorically than it being an actual question, what won't we forget? Do we resound and proclaim that we won't forget 9/11 happened? Or is it that we are a changed nation? Or is it that there is a large vacant lot in the heart of the financial district that can no longer make a lot of money? I throw these out there because as a whole I would have to disagree "the world is a different place". Although I truly believe it is different and the majority of Americans also say that it is different, the way people have resumed their lives does not show it. I suppose I mean to say do we truly believe the world is a different place?
Let's knock out the obvious first of all. Those of us that are in the military, of course it has changed, we all have or are waiting to get deployed sometime in the near future. Then next most impacted group in this changed world are the airport security and Homeland Defense, I suppose that can count as a major change. Is that all there really is though? Granted, there are regular sections in the news about the war on terror to deliver the daily body count, politicians claim and say this or that, but I think there is a fair number who don't truly believe the world has changed. I don't intend on making this a rally 'round the flag blog to say support our troops. I think this is about "what happened to public responsibility"?
I can recall from my civilian days both pre and post 9/11, the average American did not find national security, public safety, or the enforcement of the law any of their own business. This is directed to those not working as some kind of public service. Somewhere in our history, the public disconnected themselves with safety issues concerning the nation. There are three major points in our history that might have directly impacted such an attitude change. One, the federalization of the public militia. In 1903, all public militias were reclassified as the Army National Guard. The entire purpose of the militia according to the Constitution is that in the event the current government gets unruly and strays too far from what it should be, the militia would be there to get the country back on track. However, ever since the militia has been an arm of the government it has been disabled from its original purpose.
The second point would be the social revolutions in the 1960's. During the 60's: prayer left public schools, evolution entered more furiously than ever; birth control became widely available giving rise to "free love", which directly related to removing peoples' personal responsibility in the art of baby making and previous care people had for their bodies; the revolt against authority could be correlated with the lying the government did and got caught doing, people no longer trusted the organization meant to serve the people. Instead of becoming a driving force of political reform for the better, they gave up on the due process and politicians altogether. The shift of the social attitude that put the youth against the older generation, expressed in the mantra "Don't trust anyone over 30" (except the pot smoking college professors), put the great divide between the generation that was finding itself against the generation who fought the world's largest war and built the country to be the world power. When the generation finally did find themselves they wanted little to do with anything that did not directly affect them. I do believe the social revolution was the greatest contributing factor to the complete selfishness found in personal attitudes. I am not claiming people were not selfish previously, but at that time period it became socially acceptable and then expected to watch out for numero uno.
The final point I believe to contribute to the overall apathy over public security was the volunteer military. Don't get me wrong I think it is a great thing to never have to wonder if a draft would be my next trip for several years in an unknown land. Those whom were deemed acceptable for military service could then be picky and thus have a more efficient fighting force. The moral would not be that of continuous resentment because each individual chose to join. As a whole it did benefit the military and the public view of the military. On the other side though, no longer having concern over being drafted leads to one having no need to be concerned with threats to the country. Why would someone whom previously might have held interest in what the military was doing because at any time he might be a part of it care to stay interested in something that will not impact him? "Because it does not impact me, I do not care" is probably the origin of the public apathy for security. I think the following generation graduated to "Because I do not care, it is none of my business". Those attitudes bring us to today. When was the last time anyone has seen a news article about a citizen's arrest? A regular person preventing a crime? A bystander rescuing people from a burning building? People generally do not get involved in anything that is not their direct concern.
It is impossible for only people on a payroll to successfully manage all the dangers to the public. The situation of public and national security is sad. In 2006, there were 2,455,837 military. At the same time there was an estimated 298,593,212 Americans. Less than 1% of the population is attempting to secure national safety. Does that mean in the event the US is attacked on our own soil only 1 out of every 100 people will defend it? I sincerely hope not.
The summation of all this, people forgot before they could even started to remember. The new threat to our personal security in 9/11 did not change the world to the general public. If this nation would ever truly "Never Forget" then first we need to remember: everyone who lives within our borders are partially responsible to secure the part of the country they reside.
Sep 2, 2006
The Single Guy
This one is definitely thinking aloud. I wouldn't quiet say this is a rant but ponderous thoughts instead. Contributing factors which have lead me to the thoughts of this developing blog are: the Tuesday night Bible study in which we are now studying Song of Solomon, Dating, or lack thereof, a recent conversation/story I was listening to yesterday, and my overall thought process on the issue over the past year.
I would say at this point I am a professional single guy. I am very used to all the luxuries it includes: my free time is all to myself, I have no obligations in my personal or emotional life to another person, and I can focus on whatever my happy heart desires. At this point though I think I understand Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." a bit better than I have in the previous years of my life. Wait a minute? Did I just portray the life of a bachelor in a negative light? Taking the context into account I think this encompasses both our spiritual, emotional and personal life. What do I mean by that? I have known very clearly since I joined the Army that our spiritual lives are meant to be lived in community with each other, something my heart continues to long for.
I have had and still have a small community but once again I am perhaps the lone single soldier who attends the chapel services at my own free will. Living in the barracks has its own perils to one's faith if I want to belong. Based on my blog habits, which I believe are so frequent because I lack people around me who I can vent and talk with. So I use this outlet, my personal life wants to be able to share the deeper moments of my heart with someone. I believe it to be incredibly difficult to live out a powerful life for God without people to surround and recharge you when you need it. Community is so vastly important in our faith I cannot stress its importance any less.
As much fun as I have had with the joking feel of singing like Donkey on Shrek, "I'm so alone" which I do tend to sing at moments of opportunity, I often do feel so alone. Standing back and analyzing my singleness I am at the place in my life that I definitely am tired of being single. There are some pitfalls with this facet of my life being unsatisfied though. Before I start to divulge them all, I think there is a precursor to them lying within me. With the utmost uncertainty I think if I was back in the states I would probably be in a similar social situation, being single. Something Jonathan mentioned to me was I still have a lot to learn when it comes to dating and relationships, I don't doubt it.
I think this realization really hit me while I was sitting in on a conversation of reference. The speaker was talking about how he basically got a girlfriend that he has only talked to by phone and internet. The thing I found most profound was when he was complimenting her about how great of a girl she was and that if he was her boyfriend he would find himself to be very lucky. The first instant thought in my mind was "whoa, now that's some brownie points", but upon further ponderance I don't know if I could be that forward to someone to initiate the more than friends relationship. My goal for so long has been to be "the Friend", and I have always been so comfortable at that point in my friendships I rarely have ever wanted to carry it any further. Now, I sit in reflection and questioning myself, could I move past the friend zone?
Often in my thoughts and imagination of my future relationship with my wife or fiancé (whenever it may happen) I usually glaze over how I went from being the friend to actually having the significant other. The bigger implication I pose to myself, “what kind of spiritual leader would this make me when I haven't the daringness to attempt to initiate more than friendship?” Being friends is a wonderful thing. You can count on friends, hang out with them, and talk about anything you are willing to talk about. The only limits to how far a friendship goes are to how far the two want to take it. Well, the physical part kind of goes without saying. Beyond the line of physical behavior, what are the emotional and spiritual lines?
Something I found interesting which I profoundly disagreed with was advice in The 10 Commandments of Dating; it suggested not to pray together because it can rush a relationship into a more intimate position and speed than what the authors believe is safe. In the context of praying together while alone, yes, there is room for temptation amplified through the spiritual intimacy experienced. Therefore, praying together ought to be done in public. Praying for one another and together is one of the best friend building excercises that can be done. It is not just anyone who would pray for you or with you with a true heart.
When I recall my friendships, sometimes I think the only line that needed to be crossed from friend to a possible romantic relationship would have been to talk about it and see where we were and how we felt about each other as that kind of relationship. But… I have never taken that step. As I mentioned in my dating blog, I find people are entirely too fast and forward in the physicality of relationships. For this reason and because I know myself and my own weaknesses I hope my first kiss will be either after I propose or after I say "I do". Oh yea, I suppose I haven't mentioned that to very many people. Yea… I've never been kissed or anything close. How this applies into my future or possible dating life, it throws an interesting curve, because the factor so often used to determine a couple is “a thing” is such forms of affection. By my own desires I have put it off till much further in the relationship.
What inspired this form of dating ideology was a talk I heard at Hume in 03' by Steve Solomon. I can email it to anyone if you are interested to hear it. I think it puts the bar for men to be spiritual leaders and men of integrity much higher than society can even contemplate. While putting the bar up and burden on me to express my feelings in a way which excludes physical intimacy, it also adds a knot into how do I initiate the relationship to the more than friends level. These details I have no idea how to go about. I suppose there would be dates, and activities. I think I’ll figure it out as I go. Well, not really, for the really good ones I can learn all I need to know by watching some chick flicks. Truth be told, the reason guys can't stand chick flicks is because it makes regular guys look so pathetic. I don't know many guys who can build a telescope or buy a star... Perhaps that is why I like Hitch so much, because it is for the normal guys.
Back to my over-analysis of my dissatisfaction and predicaments of the thing called dating. The most difficult part of the relationship is the maintaining and growing part. After all how much more to it is there? There is spending time together, sharing, doing things, and enjoying being around each other. I think at a certain point one of two things happen, you either get married or break up. This model is with the successful relationship, I kind of glossed over the fights, arguments, and disagreements. Those will happen but it is what they are about and how they are dealt with which contributes to the overall success of the relationship. Actually, for many relationships to get through the fights is one of the most defining aspects to show how important it really is. Talking to friends that for some reason ask me for relationship advice on occasion, I think one of the simplest ways to have a working and good relationship is to treat the person as friends treat each other. So often the issues brought up seem to get convoluted in my friends' minds because their emotions are out of control. My objective outlook allows me to be able to look at their situations and talk it out without being emotionally involved. Essentially working out friend’s relationship problems has taught me the most about relationships directly. I am curious how it will hit me when I am no longer emotionally absent from the issue.
Now that I have expelled the internal issues to me not dating or getting into a relationship there are additional factors as to why I believe I remain in this state of singleness until I get out of the Army. I when I enlisted I knew I would likely not get into a relationship; at that point it didn't seem like such a big deal. At this point, it is bittersweet. To halt my loneliness I have thought of trying to find someone in the local area, but it is quickly snuffed by the realization that I will not remain in this country for more than a year. Where I go in a year it is one of three places, based on my occupation I think you all can guess aside from the States where the other two locations may be.
The environments I have found myself in definitely has a shortage of Christians. By Christians I mean to express those that take their faith seriously enough to practice it despite their surroundings. I have yet to find a single Christian female since I have left the states, which definitely puts a hindrance to starting a relationship. I do not think it is a good idea to attempt more than friendship with someone in the states. Long distance friendships can work, but not that kind I think. It hit me after I read 10 Commandments of Dating, that I am not really looking for someone to date, but a serious relationship dare I say wife. I think that explains much about how I have approached social interaction and relationships thus far. I don't think I was ever looking for a girlfriend; I have always been looking for a wife. I think great friendships can be made anywhere, more than that though requires meeting in person. So I find myself in my current state of singleness by lack of options. I am not really stressing too much expecting to not find someone for this period of time, and so I am the single guy.
I would say at this point I am a professional single guy. I am very used to all the luxuries it includes: my free time is all to myself, I have no obligations in my personal or emotional life to another person, and I can focus on whatever my happy heart desires. At this point though I think I understand Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." a bit better than I have in the previous years of my life. Wait a minute? Did I just portray the life of a bachelor in a negative light? Taking the context into account I think this encompasses both our spiritual, emotional and personal life. What do I mean by that? I have known very clearly since I joined the Army that our spiritual lives are meant to be lived in community with each other, something my heart continues to long for.
I have had and still have a small community but once again I am perhaps the lone single soldier who attends the chapel services at my own free will. Living in the barracks has its own perils to one's faith if I want to belong. Based on my blog habits, which I believe are so frequent because I lack people around me who I can vent and talk with. So I use this outlet, my personal life wants to be able to share the deeper moments of my heart with someone. I believe it to be incredibly difficult to live out a powerful life for God without people to surround and recharge you when you need it. Community is so vastly important in our faith I cannot stress its importance any less.
As much fun as I have had with the joking feel of singing like Donkey on Shrek, "I'm so alone" which I do tend to sing at moments of opportunity, I often do feel so alone. Standing back and analyzing my singleness I am at the place in my life that I definitely am tired of being single. There are some pitfalls with this facet of my life being unsatisfied though. Before I start to divulge them all, I think there is a precursor to them lying within me. With the utmost uncertainty I think if I was back in the states I would probably be in a similar social situation, being single. Something Jonathan mentioned to me was I still have a lot to learn when it comes to dating and relationships, I don't doubt it.
I think this realization really hit me while I was sitting in on a conversation of reference. The speaker was talking about how he basically got a girlfriend that he has only talked to by phone and internet. The thing I found most profound was when he was complimenting her about how great of a girl she was and that if he was her boyfriend he would find himself to be very lucky. The first instant thought in my mind was "whoa, now that's some brownie points", but upon further ponderance I don't know if I could be that forward to someone to initiate the more than friends relationship. My goal for so long has been to be "the Friend", and I have always been so comfortable at that point in my friendships I rarely have ever wanted to carry it any further. Now, I sit in reflection and questioning myself, could I move past the friend zone?
Often in my thoughts and imagination of my future relationship with my wife or fiancé (whenever it may happen) I usually glaze over how I went from being the friend to actually having the significant other. The bigger implication I pose to myself, “what kind of spiritual leader would this make me when I haven't the daringness to attempt to initiate more than friendship?” Being friends is a wonderful thing. You can count on friends, hang out with them, and talk about anything you are willing to talk about. The only limits to how far a friendship goes are to how far the two want to take it. Well, the physical part kind of goes without saying. Beyond the line of physical behavior, what are the emotional and spiritual lines?
Something I found interesting which I profoundly disagreed with was advice in The 10 Commandments of Dating; it suggested not to pray together because it can rush a relationship into a more intimate position and speed than what the authors believe is safe. In the context of praying together while alone, yes, there is room for temptation amplified through the spiritual intimacy experienced. Therefore, praying together ought to be done in public. Praying for one another and together is one of the best friend building excercises that can be done. It is not just anyone who would pray for you or with you with a true heart.
When I recall my friendships, sometimes I think the only line that needed to be crossed from friend to a possible romantic relationship would have been to talk about it and see where we were and how we felt about each other as that kind of relationship. But… I have never taken that step. As I mentioned in my dating blog, I find people are entirely too fast and forward in the physicality of relationships. For this reason and because I know myself and my own weaknesses I hope my first kiss will be either after I propose or after I say "I do". Oh yea, I suppose I haven't mentioned that to very many people. Yea… I've never been kissed or anything close. How this applies into my future or possible dating life, it throws an interesting curve, because the factor so often used to determine a couple is “a thing” is such forms of affection. By my own desires I have put it off till much further in the relationship.
What inspired this form of dating ideology was a talk I heard at Hume in 03' by Steve Solomon. I can email it to anyone if you are interested to hear it. I think it puts the bar for men to be spiritual leaders and men of integrity much higher than society can even contemplate. While putting the bar up and burden on me to express my feelings in a way which excludes physical intimacy, it also adds a knot into how do I initiate the relationship to the more than friends level. These details I have no idea how to go about. I suppose there would be dates, and activities. I think I’ll figure it out as I go. Well, not really, for the really good ones I can learn all I need to know by watching some chick flicks. Truth be told, the reason guys can't stand chick flicks is because it makes regular guys look so pathetic. I don't know many guys who can build a telescope or buy a star... Perhaps that is why I like Hitch so much, because it is for the normal guys.
Back to my over-analysis of my dissatisfaction and predicaments of the thing called dating. The most difficult part of the relationship is the maintaining and growing part. After all how much more to it is there? There is spending time together, sharing, doing things, and enjoying being around each other. I think at a certain point one of two things happen, you either get married or break up. This model is with the successful relationship, I kind of glossed over the fights, arguments, and disagreements. Those will happen but it is what they are about and how they are dealt with which contributes to the overall success of the relationship. Actually, for many relationships to get through the fights is one of the most defining aspects to show how important it really is. Talking to friends that for some reason ask me for relationship advice on occasion, I think one of the simplest ways to have a working and good relationship is to treat the person as friends treat each other. So often the issues brought up seem to get convoluted in my friends' minds because their emotions are out of control. My objective outlook allows me to be able to look at their situations and talk it out without being emotionally involved. Essentially working out friend’s relationship problems has taught me the most about relationships directly. I am curious how it will hit me when I am no longer emotionally absent from the issue.
Now that I have expelled the internal issues to me not dating or getting into a relationship there are additional factors as to why I believe I remain in this state of singleness until I get out of the Army. I when I enlisted I knew I would likely not get into a relationship; at that point it didn't seem like such a big deal. At this point, it is bittersweet. To halt my loneliness I have thought of trying to find someone in the local area, but it is quickly snuffed by the realization that I will not remain in this country for more than a year. Where I go in a year it is one of three places, based on my occupation I think you all can guess aside from the States where the other two locations may be.
The environments I have found myself in definitely has a shortage of Christians. By Christians I mean to express those that take their faith seriously enough to practice it despite their surroundings. I have yet to find a single Christian female since I have left the states, which definitely puts a hindrance to starting a relationship. I do not think it is a good idea to attempt more than friendship with someone in the states. Long distance friendships can work, but not that kind I think. It hit me after I read 10 Commandments of Dating, that I am not really looking for someone to date, but a serious relationship dare I say wife. I think that explains much about how I have approached social interaction and relationships thus far. I don't think I was ever looking for a girlfriend; I have always been looking for a wife. I think great friendships can be made anywhere, more than that though requires meeting in person. So I find myself in my current state of singleness by lack of options. I am not really stressing too much expecting to not find someone for this period of time, and so I am the single guy.
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