Things Change, People Change

In the last week I have had a decent amount of myspace time, probably too much. I don't try to be a "friend whore." It is impractical to remain current if there are too many people on one’s friend list. That brings me to the purpose of this blog though. Through the duration of this last week I have been able to look through almost all if not all of my myspace friends pages.

Being away from everyone at home has taught me to deal with two really difficult aspects of life. First of all, the small church community and the daily challenges of faith that I have to live for Christ. I wouldn't say I am used to it, but familiar for now. Yesterday while on Kitchen Patrol, I was chatting with some of the guys, somewhere in the mix we got to a "have you ever" about my personal life and several of the guys were astonished about my experience and how I approach life. I wouldn't be as ambitious to say seeds were planted but they know that I am very different from those who surround me.

The other very difficult thing about being away that I am far from getting used to is the fact that when I left, life still went on. I got a taste of that last time I was home when I couldn't recognize half the students at church. I miss so many people back home and the best way I have been able to keep track of them is through myspace. So what happens when I finally get a chance to check on the people that I haven't had the urgency to check on them sooner? Well, their profiles and blogs speak for themselves.

It has been 4 years since high school, college for several of my peers is done or the light at the end of the tunnel is in clear view. The crazier part, the freshmen I knew are now freshmen in college, woah. People move away from home, explore the world and all the usual stuff. This is where I get the heavy heart. There are many people I knew at home from church who were the bright and passionate students living for Christ. Now, by the looks of their myspace page or at least how they wish to display themselves to the world, there does not appear to be any sign of  Christ.

There is a part of me that thinks it is ridiculous to try and see where someone is and how they are really doing by looking at a webpage, but correct me if I am wrong but we do put what we want others to see on our pages. Something I tend to take more than words are actions and the expressions of those that are around us. I am a strong believer that our behavior defines what we really believe. Sometimes even those who are around us, know who we really are better than ourselves. I am reminded of statistics I have heard over and over again. The majority of students raised and active at church in high school leave it when they leave home. It hurts to know where people were and to see for what they exchanged their lives.

I can not t help but ask myself what can be done? I know there are the regular Christian answers, I can pray for them. I don't want to discount the powers of intercessory prayers, perhaps it is my lack of faith that a prayer will be efficacious in such a way that might turn them back. I think that the power of their free will is stronger. Being that I have not had regular contact or the kind of faithful relationship with people I don't think it would be appropriate to attempt to rebuke a Brother. Where does that leave me? I think I will continue to pray despite my personal reservations of its effectiveness.

Something else I think about when I see people's' fire turn to a glimmer, I can't help but wonder what kind of discipleship they received. For those that are just getting to college, people that I interacted with when I was on staff. People I should've been discipling, what does that mean in terms of my own faithfulness or effectiveness in the ministry so far. Am I not somewhat responsible for the people I led? It is not up to me where someone goes or how they choose to lead their lives but sometimes I wish it was, then I am reminded of my own free will and how precious a gift it truly is.

One of the several authors I have taken to reading in my search to read as much as possible before I get to Seminary is Prof. Theophilus. His real names is Budziszewki, he writes some mind boggling books and some easily comprehensible columns on the link. On of the first books that caught my attention was How To Stay a Christian in College, it is on my to read list, actually I am gonna order it as soon as I post this. If this was an actual essay I might be regretful of such an anti-climatic commercial of a conclusion, but that is why I like blogs.

Worldview Matters

While reading my current book I came across a truly eye-opening essay that I think points out why it is so important for Christians to be familiar with the origin of life. For those of you willing to spend an hour or so to listen to the presentation just follow the link. I found this piece rather unique because it is not the average "this is the evidence of intelligent design" or "this is what evolutionary theory has assumed without proof", instead it is merely an extrapolation of where our society is going and why IF Darwinism is true as it is so often assumed to be.

I was struck like I saw the light upon reading this because at once so many pieces came together. I have seen a few pieces here and there starting with CS Lewis and on the other side of the spectrum Dr Dino referring to how either Darwinism leads to death and social chaos but not such a concise presentation.

Have no fear this blog is not simply limited to an advertisement of why I really think you should listen to this lecture. I have long believed the pinnacle issue in reaching people in our post-modernist society is to point to them that there is a Truth. That has been the curve ball that I think many Christians are not adequately trained how to deal with. In fact, while on a long bus ride this last weekend I happen to get in an awesome conversation that covered Truth, Free Will and what it means to be a Christ Follower. I believe it was in my sophomore or junior year that I was first made aware of post modernism and how it makes the Gospel void in many minds.

When discussing issues of faith with other Christians one of the basics that I think has the greatest repercussions in one's total theology is how they interpret free will, I think Romans 1 covers that topic quiet well. The quick summary is do people individually choose God or are the predestined as mentioned in scripture the only people that will accept Christ. The nutshell of how it affects us has to do with our evangelistic habits. If we believe that it is a person's individual free choice to accept God then we must reach them were they are and bring Christ to them. If we believe that a person will turn to God as one of the "chosen" then we might not be prompted to bring the Gospel.

So are we free creatures who must own up to our own actions and responsibilities of our life or not? This is where the issue of Darwinism or Humanism directly connects to every facet of our life IF it happens to be true. For those that have been taught since the start public education that we are nothing but chemicals that have come together without purpose and by random chance the value of our lives shouldn't be much more that the vitamin content that we are composed of. In addition, if we are merely chemicals and genetics reacting from prior causes and prior chemical reaction than is it really right to be held accountable for any action or behavior? After all we would simply be the vessel from which the chemicals cause. Issues of society like law, crime, economy, competition, love, and any other aspect will be under the control of the natural forces will suddenly be nonpunishable, moreover the structure of society will be based upon such principles of absolute meaninglessness.

As society is moving along (in which direction I think it is clear) the states of our "Enlightenment" as many intellectuals like to marvel about bases that Christians must prove grows. It is common when I start a discussion about right and wrong that we lead directly into is there truth and what is truth? It does not take much longer to reach the issue of our origin, why would there be truth if there is no truth giver? To prove the existence of personal responsibility we must move people beyond humanism's cause and effect. The philosophical smoke screen blinds so many without them seeing it, and it blinds them that much further from the Christian worldview which I think is a perquisite to one understanding who God is that we might want to live for him.

This is so important for us to be aware and willing to take action against because it is so closely related to the worldview people have. The behavior of society, I believe, is a direct reflection of their worldview. Those who believe the greatest joy in life is to experience pleasure as much as they possibly can, will act accordingly. Those who believe their purpose is to make the world a better place will also act accordingly. Those that believe our purpose in life is to increase God's kingdom will spend their life doing so. In order to get there though because without a life of purpose why would anyone live out a life for anything?

Epilogue: It is always fun to read blogs which I proclaimed a theology I no longer hold. As the years have past, my knowledge grown, I embrace much of what Reformed Theology states.

What Won't We Forget?

As cliché as it may be at this point to write a blog concerning the events which conspired 5 years ago, I think this one might be a bit different. As just about every public figure pronounced on our day of infamy, the world is a different place. From my position, keeping current with the news and currents events there are a few areas that I would have to disagree. Were we rocked when it happened? Yes. Did we as Americans really change from that terrible day? The primary premise of this is "no", we haven't.

Just surfing the AFN (Armed Forces Network) schedule of shows last night I noticed about 3 or 4 documentaries about what happened. In the recent months there have been 2 major movies about 9/11 or something related. So what can we gather with that? Well, I see it being either of two ways, for one it could show that Americans will capitalize on anything. The timeline as to wait before the movies were made was roughly 5 years, is that our new aura of sacredness when we can start profiting from it now? Or are these pictures and shows meant as a memorial? Are they there to retell the story so that we will not forget? Only the creators know their true motives, I can only speculate.

I wonder if this time of year will become a true time of reflection and memorial, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next few years it becomes a federal holiday. I am reminded of stories from some of the older generations about how they approached days of reverence. They were talking about what it was like during Memorial Day years following WWII and the Korean War. It was a sobering atmosphere; people actively remembered what had taken place and knew someone who had been in the wars. Today, Memorial Day is just another day off. Well, not completely I know it is a big shopping day with all the Memorial Day Specials and whatnot, such a great way to remember and honor those who paid for freedom with blood.

My biggest question I ask, probably more rhetorically than it being an actual question, what won't we forget? Do we resound and proclaim that we won't forget 9/11 happened? Or is it that we are a changed nation? Or is it that there is a large vacant lot in the heart of the financial district that can no longer make a lot of money? I throw these out there because as a whole I would have to disagree "the world is a different place". Although I truly believe it is different and the majority of Americans also say that it is different, the way people have resumed their lives does not show it. I suppose I mean to say do we truly believe the world is a different place?

Let's knock out the obvious first of all. Those of us that are in the military, of course it has changed, we all have or are waiting to get deployed sometime in the near future. Then next most impacted group in this changed world are the airport security and Homeland Defense, I suppose that can count as a major change. Is that all there really is though? Granted, there are regular sections in the news about the war on terror to deliver the daily body count, politicians claim and say this or that, but I think there is a fair number who don't truly believe the world has changed. I don't intend on making this a rally 'round the flag blog to say support our troops. I think this is about "what happened to public responsibility"?

I can recall from my civilian days both pre and post 9/11, the average American did not find national security, public safety, or the enforcement of the law any of their own business. This is directed to those not working as some kind of public service. Somewhere in our history, the public disconnected themselves with safety issues concerning the nation. There are three major points in our history that might have directly impacted such an attitude change. One, the federalization of the public militia. In 1903, all public militias were reclassified as the Army National Guard. The entire purpose of the militia according to the Constitution is that in the event the current government gets unruly and strays too far from what it should be, the militia would be there to get the country back on track. However, ever since the militia has been an arm of the government it has been disabled from its original purpose.

The second point would be the social revolutions in the 1960's. During the 60's: prayer left public schools, evolution entered more furiously than ever; birth control became widely available giving rise to "free love", which directly related to removing peoples' personal responsibility in the art of baby making and previous care people had for their bodies; the revolt against authority could be correlated with the lying the government did and got caught doing, people no longer trusted the organization meant to serve the people. Instead of becoming a driving force of political reform for the better, they gave up on the due process and politicians altogether. The shift of the social attitude that put the youth against the older generation, expressed in the mantra "Don't trust anyone over 30" (except the pot smoking college professors), put the great divide between the generation that was finding itself against the generation who fought the world's largest war and built the country to be the world power. When the generation finally did find themselves they wanted little to do with anything that did not directly affect them. I do believe the social revolution was the greatest contributing factor to the complete selfishness found in personal attitudes. I am not claiming people were not selfish previously, but at that time period it became socially acceptable and then expected to watch out for numero uno.

The final point I believe to contribute to the overall apathy over public security was the volunteer military. Don't get me wrong I think it is a great thing to never have to wonder if a draft would be my next trip for several years in an unknown land. Those whom were deemed acceptable for military service could then be picky and thus have a more efficient fighting force. The moral would not be that of continuous resentment because each individual chose to join. As a whole it did benefit the military and the public view of the military. On the other side though, no longer having concern over being drafted leads to one having no need to be concerned with threats to the country. Why would someone whom previously might have held interest in what the military was doing because at any time he might be a part of it care to stay interested in something that will not impact him? "Because it does not impact me, I do not care" is probably the origin of the public apathy for security. I think the following generation graduated to "Because I do not care, it is none of my business". Those attitudes bring us to today. When was the last time anyone has seen a news article about a citizen's arrest? A regular person preventing a crime? A bystander rescuing people from a burning building? People generally do not get involved in anything that is not their direct concern.

It is impossible for only people on a payroll to successfully manage all the dangers to the public. The situation of public and national security is sad. In 2006, there were 2,455,837 military. At the same time there was an estimated 298,593,212 Americans. Less than 1% of the population is attempting to secure national safety. Does that mean in the event the US is attacked on our own soil only 1 out of every 100 people will defend it? I sincerely hope not.

The summation of all this, people forgot before they could even started to remember. The new threat to our personal security in 9/11 did not change the world to the general public. If this nation would ever truly "Never Forget" then first we need to remember: everyone who lives within our borders are partially responsible to secure the part of the country they reside.

The Single Guy

This one is definitely thinking aloud. I wouldn't quiet say this is a rant but ponderous thoughts instead. Contributing factors which have lead me to the thoughts of this developing blog are: the Tuesday night Bible study in which we are now studying Song of Solomon, Dating, or lack thereof, a recent conversation/story I was listening to yesterday, and my overall thought process on the issue over the past year.

I would say at this point I am a professional single guy. I am very used to all the luxuries it includes: my free time is all to myself, I have no obligations in my personal or emotional life to another person, and I can focus on whatever my happy heart desires. At this point though I think I understand Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." a bit better than I have in the previous years of my life. Wait a minute? Did I just portray the life of a bachelor in a negative light? Taking the context into account I think this encompasses both our spiritual, emotional and personal life. What do I mean by that? I have known very clearly since I joined the Army that our spiritual lives are meant to be lived in community with each other, something my heart continues to long for.

I have had and still have a small community but once again I am perhaps the lone single soldier who attends the chapel services at my own free will. Living in the barracks has its own perils to one's faith if I want to belong. Based on my blog habits, which I believe are so frequent because I lack people around me who I can vent and talk with. So I use this outlet, my personal life wants to be able to share the deeper moments of my heart with someone. I believe it to be incredibly difficult to live out a powerful life for God without people to surround and recharge you when you need it. Community is so vastly important in our faith I cannot stress its importance any less.

As much fun as I have had with the joking feel of singing like Donkey on Shrek, "I'm so alone" which I do tend to sing at moments of opportunity, I often do feel so alone. Standing back and analyzing my singleness I am at the place in my life that I definitely am tired of being single. There are some pitfalls with this facet of my life being unsatisfied though. Before I start to divulge them all, I think there is a precursor to them lying within me. With the utmost uncertainty I think if I was back in the states I would probably be in a similar social situation, being single. Something Jonathan mentioned to me was I still have a lot to learn when it comes to dating and relationships, I don't doubt it.

I think this realization really hit me while I was sitting in on a conversation of reference. The speaker was talking about how he basically got a girlfriend that he has only talked to by phone and internet. The thing I found most profound was when he was complimenting her about how great of a girl she was and that if he was her boyfriend he would find himself to be very lucky. The first instant thought in my mind was "whoa, now that's some brownie points", but upon further ponderance I don't know if I could be that forward to someone to initiate the more than friends relationship. My goal for so long has been to be "the Friend", and I have always been so comfortable at that point in my friendships I rarely have ever wanted to carry it any further. Now, I sit in reflection and questioning myself, could I move past the friend zone?

Often in my thoughts and imagination of my future relationship with my wife or fiancé (whenever it may happen) I usually glaze over how I went from being the friend to actually having the significant other. The bigger implication I pose to myself, “what kind of spiritual leader would this make me when I haven't the daringness to attempt to initiate more than friendship?” Being friends is a wonderful thing. You can count on friends, hang out with them, and talk about anything you are willing to talk about. The only limits to how far a friendship goes are to how far the two want to take it. Well, the physical part kind of goes without saying. Beyond the line of physical behavior, what are the emotional and spiritual lines?

Something I found interesting which I profoundly disagreed with was advice in The 10 Commandments of Dating; it suggested not to pray together because it can rush a relationship into a more intimate position and speed than what the authors believe is safe. In the context of praying together while alone, yes, there is room for temptation amplified through the spiritual intimacy experienced. Therefore, praying together ought to be done in public. Praying for one another and together is one of the best friend building excercises that can be done. It is not just anyone who would pray for you or with you with a true heart.

When I recall my friendships, sometimes I think the only line that needed to be crossed from friend to a possible romantic relationship would have been to talk about it and see where we were and how we felt about each other as that kind of relationship. But… I have never taken that step. As I mentioned in my dating blog, I find people are entirely too fast and forward in the physicality of relationships. For this reason and because I know myself and my own weaknesses I hope my first kiss will be either after I propose or after I say "I do". Oh yea, I suppose I haven't mentioned that to very many people. Yea… I've never been kissed or anything close. How this applies into my future or possible dating life, it throws an interesting curve, because the factor so often used to determine a couple is “a thing” is such forms of affection. By my own desires I have put it off till much further in the relationship.

What inspired this form of dating ideology was a talk I heard at Hume in 03' by Steve Solomon. I can email it to anyone if you are interested to hear it. I think it puts the bar for men to be spiritual leaders and men of integrity much higher than society can even contemplate. While putting the bar up and burden on me to express my feelings in a way which excludes physical intimacy, it also adds a knot into how do I initiate the relationship to the more than friends level. These details I have no idea how to go about. I suppose there would be dates, and activities. I think I’ll figure it out as I go. Well, not really, for the really good ones I can learn all I need to know by watching some chick flicks. Truth be told, the reason guys can't stand chick flicks is because it makes regular guys look so pathetic. I don't know many guys who can build a telescope or buy a star... Perhaps that is why I like Hitch so much, because it is for the normal guys.

Back to my over-analysis of my dissatisfaction and predicaments of the thing called dating. The most difficult part of the relationship is the maintaining and growing part. After all how much more to it is there? There is spending time together, sharing, doing things, and enjoying being around each other. I think at a certain point one of two things happen, you either get married or break up. This model is with the successful relationship, I kind of glossed over the fights, arguments, and disagreements. Those will happen but it is what they are about and how they are dealt with which contributes to the overall success of the relationship. Actually, for many relationships to get through the fights is one of the most defining aspects to show how important it really is. Talking to friends that for some reason ask me for relationship advice on occasion, I think one of the simplest ways to have a working and good relationship is to treat the person as friends treat each other. So often the issues brought up seem to get convoluted in my friends' minds because their emotions are out of control. My objective outlook allows me to be able to look at their situations and talk it out without being emotionally involved. Essentially working out friend’s relationship problems has taught me the most about relationships directly. I am curious how it will hit me when I am no longer emotionally absent from the issue.

Now that I have expelled the internal issues to me not dating or getting into a relationship there are additional factors as to why I believe I remain in this state of singleness until I get out of the Army. I when I enlisted I knew I would likely not get into a relationship; at that point it didn't seem like such a big deal. At this point, it is bittersweet. To halt my loneliness I have thought of trying to find someone in the local area, but it is quickly snuffed by the realization that I will not remain in this country for more than a year. Where I go in a year it is one of three places, based on my occupation I think you all can guess aside from the States where the other two locations may be.

The environments I have found myself in definitely has a shortage of Christians. By Christians I mean to express those that take their faith seriously enough to practice it despite their surroundings. I have yet to find a single Christian female since I have left the states, which definitely puts a hindrance to starting a relationship. I do not think it is a good idea to attempt more than friendship with someone in the states. Long distance friendships can work, but not that kind I think. It hit me after I read 10 Commandments of Dating, that I am not really looking for someone to date, but a serious relationship dare I say wife. I think that explains much about how I have approached social interaction and relationships thus far. I don't think I was ever looking for a girlfriend; I have always been looking for a wife. I think great friendships can be made anywhere, more than that though requires meeting in person. So I find myself in my current state of singleness by lack of options. I am not really stressing too much expecting to not find someone for this period of time, and so I am the single guy.